


By The Sea

by SaucyWench



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mythology - Freeform, fili and kili are not related, offscreen minor character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 73
Words: 66,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaucyWench/pseuds/SaucyWench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing his family, Fili moves to a new beachfront house for a fresh start.  Maybe he's not as alone in the world as he thinks, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on Tumblr, but Atomized nagged me into posting it over here too. Since I tend to spoil him, here we go.

Fili set the box on the floor. That was the last of it. Now, for better or worse, he was all moved in.

No one had been in the house in a few days and it was stuffy, so the first thing he did was open all the windows. The breeze and the sound of the gentle swells of the waves breaking along the beach made it feel a little less isolated than it actually was. Not that he was complaining about the isolation. He had paid for it, after all. He just hadn’t expected it to be so quiet.

He hadn’t expected to feel so lonely, either. He had been sick of people he knew coming by to check on him, or calling to see if he wanted to go out, or go to dinner, or do anything at all. He’d been tired of pitying looks from acquaintances that knew his name, but didn’t know him.

Everyone in the small town knew what happened. The crash that killed his parents was front page news for a while. Not because of the personal tragedy, but because of the massive automobile recall it had caused. Something about a leaking master brake cylinder, failed brakes, and the sensors not reading the brake fluid levels correctly. He didn’t pay a lot of attention to the details. He’d been too busy mourning the loss of his family.

Six months after they died, his long-term boyfriend walked out one day and never came home. A few days later he called, and told Fili they were over. “I don’t know what happened. You used to be fun,” he’d said. Fili had replied, “I just lost my parents, you insensitive fuckhead.” That was the next to last time they had spoken.

The last time was when the settlement was reported in the news. The manufacturer that was at fault threw a large amount of money at Fili, in exchange for papers saying he wouldn’t sue. He went to a lawyer, and was told that he could sue and probably get a lot more money. It was no guarantee, though, and it would take years of court and hassle. He decided against suing, but the lawyer did some talking and the amount of money doubled. Fili’s ex had called a few days after that. Fili told him not to call again, hung up, and blocked the number.

The money insured that he never had to work again, if he was smart about it. It also made him a lot of new friends. These were the types of people who only came around after hearing about the settlement, however, and he wanted nothing to do with them.

The money didn’t matter, anyway. No matter how large the settlement was, it wouldn’t be enough to do any noticeable damage to the company that was responsible for the deaths of his parents. It couldn’t bring his parents back, either.

What it could do was provide a fresh start. With the help of his lawyer, he found this house on the beach. Now no one, except a few close friends, a housekeeper, and the lawyer, knew where he was. He had paid for the house to be furnished with everything new and stuck the detritus of his old life in storage. He’d only brought some of his personal belongings: clothes, books, and his computer. Only a few boxes that could fit in his car. Maybe he’d get the other things out of storage one day. When it wasn’t so painful to look at them and the memories they recalled.

After he unpacked the boxes, he went from room to room. Everything was just as he requested, from the sheets on the bed to the stocked fridge. He was still restless after making a circuit and couldn’t settle down, so decided to inspect outside.

His house was up on stilts with a big wooden deck. He imagined it would be perfect for watching sunsets, but for now he headed down the steps to the beach. The house was nice enough, but this is why he wanted to be here. His own private beach, framed by the natural curve of the shoreline on one side, and a jetty made from large stones on the other.

Deciding to inspect the jetty first, Fili headed that way. It looked like it was made from cut granite. Even wet, the rough stone gave him enough purchase to walk along without slipping and he was glad he kept his shoes on. It got higher as he walked out farther. It hadn’t looked too long from his house, but when he reached the end, the beach seemed far away.

He turned his back on the beach and his house, and sat down on one of the huge stones. Now, out here with only the sea for company, away from the prying eyes of everyone, he allowed his grief crash over him like one of the waves. He bowed his head and cried, allowing the tears to stream unchecked down his face.

After the tears had run their course, he stayed on the jetty looking out to sea. When the sun started to go down, he stood and started to make his way back to shore. He felt hollow and fragile from his crying jag, and had a headache. Even so, maybe the burden of grief he carried had lightened a tiny bit. It was enough to plant a seed of hope in his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was spent inspecting his house, arranging things how he wanted them, and unpacking his personal belongings. It was late afternoon when he stood with his hands on his hips, looking around his living room with a frown. He didn’t have anything hanging on the walls, and it made the place feel impersonal. Well, there was nothing he could do about that right now.

Fili made a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. He wrapped a few carrots in a napkin, and tucked another napkin around the sandwich. After grabbing a beer from the fridge, he went outside.

He needed to get some furniture for his deck. Instead of sitting on the steps, he took his makeshift meal with him to the end of the jetty. It was peaceful out there, surrounded by the waves. Maybe he should look into getting a boat. Well, except he knew nothing about boating and would probably wind up capsizing it. The Coast Guard would have to rescue him from his own stupidity. Maybe boating lessons first.

He ate a couple of the carrots, but didn’t have much of an appetite. He drank his beer, watching the way the sun sank towards the sea and turned the sky and waves into different shades of pink and grey. Maybe he’d order some supplies and start painting again. It was something he hadn’t done since his parents died. It would feel nice to be able to reclaim a part of his life.

When the beer was gone, he took out the rest of the carrots and the sandwich. He left it there at the end of the jetty for some lucky seagull. After tucking the napkins into his pocket, he grabbed his empty bottle and headed back to the house.


	3. Chapter 3

It figured that the cable guy would be chatty. He ignored Fili’s monosyllable answers and kept up a running commentary the entire time he was at the house. He talked about the house, the weather, the texture of the sand on the beach, fishing from the jetty, and anything else that seemed to cross his mind. Eventually Fili was worn down to providing thoughtful hums and an occasional grunt to indicate he was still in the room.

After a recommendation for a food truck that stopped in town on the weekends, the cable guy used the remote to check on the television before announcing, “You’re good to go, it looks like. At least until hurricane seasons blows in and knocks down the wiring!” With a hearty guffaw and a slap to Fili’s back, he was gone.

Relieved to have his house back, Fili watched him drive away. Hurricanes weren’t something he’d given a lot of thought to before buying the house. Maybe he should have. Oh well, it was too late now. He wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while, anyway.

He sent an email to Bard, his best friend. Nothing complicated, just a quick note to say he was all moved in and okay. While he was at the computer, he looked up art supplies. He went ahead and placed an order for a few simple things. A few sketchbooks of different sizes, some decent pencils and pens, that was about all. Nothing said he had to use them if he changed his mind or wasn’t ready by the time they were delivered.

Speaking of having things delivered, he poked around online until he found some furniture for the deck. It looked comfortable and sturdy, with weatherproof cushions so they wouldn’t mildew in the humidity. On a whim he added a grill and a hammock. If he was going to play at being a beach bum, he might as well do it in style.

It was after lunch, but he hadn’t eaten all day. He made a sandwich – turkey on rye with spicy mustard, this time – and wrapped it in a napkin. He took a bottle of water with him, and headed out to the end of the jetty.

Something pink caught his eye. When he got closer, he saw it was a scallop shell. He sat down beside it, and picked it up to inspect while he was eating his sandwich. It was a pretty shell, big enough to cover the palm of his hand, with stripes of different shades of rose and cream.

The question was how did it get up here on what he considered his rock? The waves couldn’t have carried it here, because the top of the jetty was dry. Maybe a bird had dropped it in an effort to get at the tasty critter inside. If that had happened, though, where was the other half of the shell? For that matter, the shell would be cracked or chipped. It looked pristine. Did rats live on his jetty? A rat might have drug it out here and then decided it wasn’t worth the effort. How would a rat get a scallop, though? It isn’t like rats went diving. Can rats even swim?

He finished his sandwich while mulling over the mystery of the shell’s appearance. The sun was warm, and the sound of the surf was relaxing. Next time he came out here, he’d have to remember to bring a towel to pad the rock to he could lay back and enjoy it. Right now, a nap sounded good.

He took the shell with him when he went back to the house. He set it on the table beside the door, next to the little basket that held his keys. However it got up on his rock, he liked it.


	4. Chapter 4

The deck furniture was delivered while he was cleaning up from breakfast. Fili felt bad, watching them carry everything up the stairs, but he sent them off with a sizable tip when they were done.

He hung the hammock between two of the pillars holding up his house. After testing it to make sure it would hold his weight, he went back to the deck and moved the furniture around to where he wanted it. It took some pushing and shoving, but he adjusted it so he could watch the beach in comfort.

The grill was another matter. It was in pieces in a huge box that said “Assembly required” on the side. He got his toolkit and started unpacking the box. It wasn’t lying. There were small parts and screws and bits and pieces scattered all over the deck. Assembly required, indeed. Skimming over the directions, Fili shrugged. How hard could it be?

Three hours. Three hours to put it together, including dropping screws and having to go fetch them when they fell between the wood of the deck, putting part of it on backwards and then having to remount it, contorting into unnatural positions to try and hold the damn thing together while he fastened it, one smashed thumb, and resisting the urge to just flip the entire mess off the deck and be done with it. Now it was done, and he could use it. He gave the grill a satisfied smile.

He was going over the contents of the freezer in his mind’s eye, debating on a steak or chicken, when it dawned on him. He had forgotten to order any charcoal, lighting fluid, or even as much as a set of tongs. He’d never used an outdoor grill in his life. It had always been his father –

That memory was like a stab in the gut, painful enough to make his breath catch. While he had been assembling the grill, he hadn’t given any thought to his family. It felt like a betrayal. It was stupid to feel like that. He knew his parents didn’t want him to mourn for the rest of his life. Regardless of what he knew, it felt traitorous to make plans and move on with his life.

Yet that’s what he was doing there, in his new little beach home. Trying to move on. Trying to heal. Trying to build a life of his own. He knew it was the right thing to do, but it was so hard.


	5. Chapter 5

The lawyer had hired the housekeeper, and told Fili the family could use the work and the money. Fili had agreed without asking too many questions. All he knew was the housekeeper was older and came highly recommended. He had imagined a matronly woman, overweight perhaps, or maybe a single mother trying to raise kids on her own.

He had not expected a man with a grey beard and a ponytail who looked like he could bench press a small car. The man was smiling at him through the door and holding a plate. He gave a wave with one hand.

Fili opened the door with a tentative hello.

“You’re Fili, right?” When Fili nodded, he went on. “I’m Dori, your housekeeper, at your service.”

“Oh, hi, I mean thanks?” Fili stammered. He should have looked up the protocol for dealing with beefy housekeepers. “Please come in.”

Dori gave him another smile. Fili watched in awe as he came in. He was broad enough to have to turn slightly sideways to get in the door.

“This is for you. It’s banana bread, a welcome to town gift. I’ll set it in the kitchen,” Dori said as he walked past Fili. “I’ll put on the kettle, too.”

Two hours later the house was spotless. Dori had gently ushered Fili out of the way and set to work. Now they were leaning on the counter, sipping tea while Fili munched on a slice of bread. Something about Dori’s no-nonsense manner set him at ease.

“This is delicious,” Fili said.

“Thank you.” Dori handed him a paper napkin. “I didn’t add nuts because I didn’t know if you were allergic.”

“I’m not allergic to anything, I don’t think.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Dori took a sip of tea before saying, “My brother would love it out here. He loves beachcombing but it’s hard to find anything on the public beaches.”

“Bring him along next time you come out,” Fili suggested.

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense, I’m inviting him.”

“Thank you, then. I’ll tell him.” Another sip of tea and Dori asked, “Do you have a groundskeeper?”

“No. I didn’t think I’d need one.”

“The public beaches have a tractor thing that goes along and scoops up all the trash along the shore. You might want someone to come and clean your beach every now and again,” Dori explained.

Fili had only been there a week or so and the beach was already looking worse for wear. He nodded and said, “That makes sense. Do you know of anyone?”

A brief hesitation, and Dori said, “My brother can do it, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“The beachcomber?”

“No, my other brother.” Another hesitation before Dori said, “He’s gotten a bit of a rough reputation around town, though.”

Fili shrugged. “I look forward to meeting him, then. Speaking of town, can you give me directions to the nearest grocery store?”

Dori gave him a relieved look before saying, “Yes, but you don’t want the nearest. Their prices are too high and the meat is horrible. You’ll want the one on Third Street.” He grabbed a napkin and a pen, and sketched a map.


	6. Chapter 6

Fili still hadn’t been for a swim, so he decided to rectify that situation immediately. He threw on a pair of swim trunks, grabbed a towel, and headed outside.

It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear, matching the water in color close enough that it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. As he picked his way down the beach, he was glad he had arranged for Dori’s brother to come clean up. It wasn’t dirty, exactly, but there was a lot of seaweed washing up and being left by high tide. Tiny crabs scuttled around the edge of it and waved their claws as he stepped over.

He left his towel on the sand far enough away that the waves wouldn’t catch it. He walked out, stopping when he reached the spot where the waves were lapping around his ankles. He swayed in place for a few minutes, watching as his feet sank into the wet sand and letting the ebb and flow of the waves make him dizzy. When he tired of that, he pulled his feet free with a sucking sound and waded deeper.

The water barely reached his knees before he found the first sandbar. Once he got over that, the waves started cresting a little higher. The water reached hip level before he found the second sandbar. He hesitated before leaving that one. If something happened to him, his body would be pulled out by the tide and lost and no one would ever know. It should be safe enough, at least until the third sandbar. He wouldn’t go past that one.

When he came down off the sandbar, now the water was waist-deep, and the waves were rougher. He had to turn sideways to prevent them from slapping against his chest and splashing into his face. This was deep enough. He turned and faced the beach, letting the waves crash against his back. He was farther out than he thought. The house looked like a picture in a magazine from here, somehow not quite real under the bright sun.

He turned to look back out to sea, and saw something in the waves. For a split second, every shark movie he’d ever seen flashed through his mind, including that stupid _Sharknado_ monstrosity. Then rational thought asserted itself, and he saw whatever it was, it wasn’t pointed like a shark fin. It was rounded, and sort of bobbing along in the water instead of swimming. With the sun glinting off the waves it was hard to tell what it might be. A lost buoy maybe, it looked too big to be a bottle. He raised his hand to try and shield his eyes from the sun, but lost track of it. He looked, but couldn’t locate it again.

Maybe it sank. Maybe it floated to a different spot and he couldn’t see it for the waves. Or maybe it was something alive after all, and it swam away. That last possibility left him too unsettled to be able to enjoy the water any more today.

Fili swam back to shore while humming the theme from _Jaws._ Maybe he could look online and see when the last shark attack had been in this area.

When he got back to his house, he stopped at the bottom of the steps. He was wet and sandy from his swim. He didn’t want to drag a mess back into the house, so after a quick look around he stripped out of his swim trunks. He tossed them on the banister, and toweled off as best he could. After hanging the towel beside his trunks, he sprinted up the steps and made a beeline for the shower.


	7. Chapter 7

There was a storm in the distance, turning the edge of the world into muted greys and windswept seaspray. The sun was still shining on the shore, though, so Fili made a thermos full of hot tea, grabbed a towel, and headed to the end of the jetty.

As beautiful as it was when the seas were calm, it was just as beautiful out here with the ocean starting to churn around the rocks. The wind was picking up too, throwing mist around when the waves broke. By the time he went back he’d probably be wet, but he didn’t care. His tea picked up a light flavoring of salt, but that didn’t matter either.

It was a different experience, being on the jetty as a storm blew in. The water looked colder and deeper, shades of slate and cobalt edged with white lace foam, an occasional glimpse of greenish seaweed flashing before the waves rolled it back under. This was not a sea where Fili would want to swim. Sitting on his rock, using the towel for padding, he could imagine being beside some giant heart. The rush of the water around the rocks could be the sound of blood circulating. The tide would be a heartbeat.

The tea was half gone and his clothes were hanging heavy from moisture. Now the storm had gotten close enough that he could see the rain sheeting down from the clouds. It made his fingers twitch, palms itching for the feel of a pencil and paper.

A vibration in his pocket startled him. He had forgotten about his phone. With a curse, he jumped up and pulled it out. A glance told him Bard was calling. Bard would have to wait. He stuffed the phone under his shirt, for all the good that would do. Being careful on the wet rocks, Fili hurried back to the house, towel and thermos forgotten.


	8. Chapter 8

The storm was over by morning the next day. At first, Fili was worried, but when his little house was unmoved, he relaxed. The sound of the surf and the rain on the roof lulled him into one of the best night’s sleep he had since his parents died. Now the sun was shining once more, with all signs of the storm gone. The ocean was back to its normal friendly colors, and the sandpipers were running up and down the beach from the waves.

The phone had rested all night unassembled in a bed of rice. Fili dusted it off and put it back together, and it started up fine. He tried to call Bard back, but wound up leaving a voicemail when the phone was unanswered.

Aside from a few small puddles drying in the sun, the deck and furniture were unaffected by the storm. The grill was secure under its cover, but he wondered if the humidity would cause the metal parts to rust. That was something else he’d have to look up when he got a chance.

That made him snort. He had a chance now. All he had was chances and time. It wasn’t like he had a job or a deadline for anything. He could take all the time in the world to look things up, or catch up on all the books he had been meaning to read, or just lay in the sun and get a tan. No one was around to care what he did or didn’t do.

He leaned on the rail of the deck and sighed. After allowing a moment of self-pity, he ran a hand through his hair. He had friends, of course. And Dori and his brothers were supposed to come by this week. He wasn’t as alone as he felt.

After checking his pockets to make sure he didn’t have his phone, Fili made his way to the end of the jetty. Halfway out, he stopped to rescue a small creature in a shell from where it had been stranded in a puddle by the storm. Was that a hermit crab, maybe? Whatever it was, it had tiny arms with pincers and a bad attitude. He ended up having to scoop it up on one of his sandals to set it on a rock at the side of the jetty. It scuttled away and flopped into the water, and Fili murmured, “You’re welcome.”

He was happy to see his towel was still on the rock where he left it. It was a salty, sodden mess, but salvageable with a wash or two. The thermos was long gone, though. In its place was a conch shell. It was lovely, white on the outside with a delicate pink interior, small enough to fit in his hand. It brought to mind exotic places with palm trees, someone blowing into the shell to call people to the docks when boats returned full of fish, sunsets and bonfires. If he had to lose the thermos, the shell seemed like a fair enough trade.

When he got back to his house, he set the conch shell on the table beside the scallop shell. At this rate he could start a collection.  


	9. Chapter 9

Dori arrived with another covered plate and two redheads in tow. He introduced them with a vague wave before heading to the kitchen. One of them, a man with long hair pulled back into a braid, gave a curt nod before heading out to the minivan Dori drove. The other, a teen with the sides of his head shaved in something that was not quite a mohawk, but not trendy enough to be an undercut, lingered in the doorway.

“I brought along a bucket, if you don’t mind,” the kid ventured. “Dori told me you said I could go beachcombing.”

“Oh, yeah, I don’t mind at all,” Fili assured him. “Sorry, what was your name again?”

“Ori,” the kid replied, but his attention was on the shells sitting on the table beside the door. He picked up the scallop shell and examined it before replacing it. “Did you get that here?”

Fili said, “I found both of them on the jetty.”

“Both of them?” Ori picked up the other shell and turned it over with a thoughtful frown. “I didn’t know we had conch around here. Did you use ants?”

“Ants?”

“To clean it. The shell’s in good shape so you didn’t use bleach.”

Fili shrugged, not having a clue what Ori was talking about. “That’s just how I found it.”

Peering at the shell, Ori said, “You must have used something to get the meat out.”

“Meat?” Fili’s nose wrinkled up at that image.

“The snail,” Ori explained. He looked up and saw Fili’s expression. With a grin, he explained, “You can eat conch.”

“Like escargot?”

“Yeah, but they taste sort of like clams.”

“Ori,” Dori called from the kitchen, “don’t be a nuisance.”

“He’s fine,” Fili called back. To Ori, he said, “Do you know a lot about shells and stuff?”

Ori’s face lit up. “It’s my hobby. I want to go to school and become a marine biologist.”

“Maybe you can give me some pointers on books or something. I suppose I should know a little about this stuff, if I am going to be living here.”

“I have some you can borrow! I have several on the local marine life, and botany, and on some of the birds you can spot here if you’re interested.”

That was a little overwhelming. Fili said, “I was hoping to start off with some info about things that might sting or bite.”

“Most of the things we have around here are harmless.”

Fili shrugged. “Can you tell me what you find?”

“I’ll show you, if you like.”

“Sure.”

Fili followed Ori out, but stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Ori went on to the shoreline while Fili addressed his brother.

“You’re Nori, right?”

“Right. I was about to come and ask, what do you want to do with the stuff that washes up?” Nori leaned on the rake he was holding.

“What do you suggest?”

“You can either burn it, or pile it up on the edge and let the sand cover it.” When Fili looked lost, Nori added, “Ori would probably suggest letting the sand cover it. It creates more dunes for the birds or some shit. I dunno.”

“Then I guess let’s do that.”

Nori gave Fili a speculative look before saying, “I reckon Dori told you about me.”

“He told me you have a bit of a reputation. That’s it.”

“Well, in the name of transparency, let me say hi, I’m Nori, the local ex-con.” Nori thrust a hand out.

Bemused, Fili shook it and said, “Nice to meet you.”

“That’s it? Don’t you want to ask what I did?”

“Does it matter?”

Nori narrowed his eyes. “It would to some people.”

“Should it matter?” When Nori gave him a frown, he added, “You said ex, so I’m guessing you paid for whatever crime it was. Are you dangerous?”

Nori snorted at that. “Not much.”

Fili spread his hands out and shrugged. “Then whatever. You can tell me if you want.”

Without waiting for a reply, Fili went to where Ori was poking at a clump of seaweed with a stick.

By the time they were done, Fili had several websites to check out for information on the local flora and fauna, the house and beach had been neatened, and all three of the brothers had promised to come back next week. He also had several leftover muffins from Dori, and a few more small shells to add to his growing collection.

He fixed a fresh cup of tea and headed to his computer. Maybe the next time, he could make them all lunch and break in his new grill. It would be a good idea to learn how to use it before then, though.


	10. Chapter 10

Fili’s art supplies were delivered the next day. After he unboxed them, he spent a while deciding the best place to set up. Once he shuffled the furniture around so he could have his desk in front of the big bay window facing the beach, more time was wasted organizing the supplies as he wanted them. He clicked on the lamp and sat down, intending to draw a quick sketch or two to familiarize himself with the new materials.

It wasn’t until his stomach growled that he realized how long he’d been working. The quick sketch had turned into six, most of them detailed. He turned the light off, and rose to go to the kitchen.

As he stared into the fridge, he wriggled his fingers and hand. He hadn’t drawn in so long that now his wrist hurt and he was getting a cramp in two of his fingers. No more marathon sessions like that, at least none without a break. It felt good to be able to get lost in something he enjoyed, though.

After a quick dinner, he decided to walk out to the end of the jetty. It was already growing dark, but the moon was full and rising. He’d been cooped up in the house all day hunched over his desk. He wanted to stretch out a little. He tucked a little flashlight into the pocket of his shorts, just in case, and set out.

The sea was different in the gloaming. The water looked black, with creamy flecks of seafoam splashing against the rocks. The wind felt cooler, somehow more forbidding without the warmth of the sun to offset it. No wonder people called the sea fickle. It was as if the mood of the ocean could change day to day, and sometimes minute to minute. The capriciousness was something he was coming to enjoy, though.

Fili had been concentrating on not losing his footing in the dimming light. He was almost at the end of the jetty when he looked up and froze.

There was a seal sitting on his rock. At least he thought it was a seal. Maybe it was a sea lion. He was almost certain it wasn’t a walrus, at least. Didn’t walruses have tusks? It was brown, almost the same color as the stone under it, and he thought it had spots. They were hard to make out in the light, though. It was laying with its head flat to the ground, not moving. It had big black eyes and it was staring right at him.

Were seals dangerous? He couldn’t remember ever hearing about anyone getting attacked by a seal, but he didn’t want to be the first one, either. Then again, he should be able to run faster than a creature that didn’t even have legs. How fast could it travel on land?

Legs or not, the seal was easily his size, and he was uncomfortable out on a jetty in the dark with something that may or may not be aggressive. Fili reached into his pocket, and the seal sat up at the motion. Slowly, so he didn’t startle the seal further, he pulled the flashlight out.

“See?” Fili murmured. “Nothing here is going to hurt you.”

The seal yawned. It was getting harder to see, but the moon highlighted the seal’s teeth. What do seals eat, anyway? With fangs like that, Fili guessed it wasn’t a strict vegan diet. The seal looked down, but kept flicking glances at Fili. When Fili raised the flashlight, it looked up at him, at the flashlight, and back at him.

“It’s a light so I can see,” Fili said. “And now I’m talking to a seal so it hopefully won’t eat me.”

The seal huffed, keeping an eye on the flashlight. Fili couldn’t help but smile at the noise. He pointed the light at the ground so he didn’t blind the seal or himself and switched it on.

A grunt was the only warning he had as the seal went into motion. He jumped back, but it didn’t come towards him. The seal slipped off the rock and vanished into the water without as much as a splash. Fili shined his light at the spot, but the water reflected it back.

He sat on his rock for another hour, but saw nothing more of his evening visitor. It looked like the seal was gone.  


	11. Chapter 11

When Fili woke up, he was inside a cloud. Or at least, that is what it looked like. The fog was so thick that he could hardly see to the edge of the deck. He had planned to go to the store, but didn’t want to drive in such adverse conditions. Instead, he decided to do some research on his evening visitor while he waited for the fog to burn off.

Google wasn’t a lot of help. Everything Fili found seemed to offer a different opinion on seals. Some sites said they were dangerous, and best to avoid them if possible. Other sites said they were completely harmless and a good omen. All of them agreed that seals were carnivores, though. Thinking of the sharp teeth he’d seen, he wasn’t surprised. Most of the information said it depended on what type of seal it was, too. He hadn’t gotten a good enough look in the dim lighting to be able to tell. He didn’t even know there were that many types of seals to begin with.

While he was online, he ordered a set of binoculars, a couple of the books Ori suggested, and a few other things. He also looked up the best way to use his grill, and made a list of things he’d need from the store. He found a few recipes for marinades, but he didn’t remember his father doing all that. Mainly what he remembered about barbecues when he was young was his father teasing and chasing his mother around with a set of tongs. His mother would always squeal and laugh, usually threatening to swat someone with a dishcloth.

The memories were painful, but Fili was smiling, too. It was good to remember the love his parents shared. He hoped to find something similar for himself, one day.

By the time he finished cleaning up from brunch, the fog had lifted. Fili grabbed his keys and the list he made, and headed out the door.

 


	12. Chapter 12

The day was hot and sunny, so Fili spent most of it outside in the water. He felt like a kid again, splashing around, running back and forth, and building up a sand castle so he could stomp through it like Godzilla. No one was around to see him though, so he didn’t worry about it. He even took some old bread and fed the seagulls. Now there was a small flock of them floating in the waves, giving him a doleful look since no more food was forthcoming.

It was late afternoon when he finally tired of it. He stripped off under the house like before, making a mental note to see about having a showerhead installed down there so he could rinse off. It was bad enough trying to keep the sand out of the house without dragging it in from swimming.

After a shower, he was famished. Instead of making something complicated for dinner, Fili threw together sandwiches using a can of tuna he found in the pantry, piled high with lettuce and tomatoes. As he was working, his shirt pulled across his shoulders and he paused to jot down ‘sunblock’ on his shopping list. He wasn’t exactly sunburned, but he could feel it.

The sandwiches were wrapped in a napkin, and he grabbed a bag of chips and a bottle of beer, then headed out to the end of the jetty. He wanted to watch the sunset while he ate, and it was still too lovely to be cooped up inside the house. He settled on his rock with his back to the house, watching the waves.

Three of the gulls had stuck around, and when they saw him eating they swam closer. Fili threw a handful of chips into the water, and smiled when two of them started squabbling while the third snatched up as much as he could carry. The gulls burst from the water with shrill cries, and that was the only warning Fili had before something lurched out of the waves and up onto the jetty.

The seal was back, and this time it was on the jetty between Fili and his house. It was about ten yards away, which was at least twenty yards closer than everything he read said he should be. There was nowhere for him to go, though. Not unless he wanted to try and swim back to shore, and he knew his odds on trying to outswim a seal.

He thought it was the same seal, but he hadn’t gotten a good look at it in the dark. Now he could see that it was a dark brown, with spots along its sides and a silvery sheen. It shook off like a dog before lying flat on the rocks with a huff.

Fili held still. Maybe if he didn’t startle it, it would satisfy its curiosity and leave. He watched the seal while the seal laid there and stared at him.

It didn’t look sick, and he didn’t see an obvious injury. In fact, it looked fat and healthy, easily as big as a human and probably weighing more than Fili did. Were seals supposed to be that big? Maybe that meant it was a male. Not that Fili was going to check. How does one even check something like that?

The seal sat up and inched closer. It kept watching his face, so Fili dropped his eyes. Maybe it thought he was challenging it or something. Or was that only for dogs? It stopped and sighed, so Fili looked up again. It was staring at his remaining sandwich.

He unwrapped the sandwich and tossed it in the seal’s direction. The wind caught it and helped it along a little, but it still landed entirely too close for Fili’s comfort. The internet had said not to feed any of the seals, but none of the sites were face to face with one while having a lapful of tuna. He just hoped the seal didn’t associate him with food and decide to see how human might taste.

The seal looked at the sandwich, and looked back at Fili. He couldn’t help but be reminded of a puppy.

“Go on, eat it,” Fili murmured. “You can have it.”

The seal inspected his face another minute before worming forward. It nosed at the sandwich before picking it up and eating it in one gulp. Fili smiled to see it left the tomato sitting on the jetty.

“Got it, no tomatoes on yours next time.” When the seal looked at him again, Fili spread his hands. “That was it. I don’t have any more tuna on me.”

The seal looked at the tomato with another sigh. Whatever else the seal was, it seemed to be a drama queen. Fili snickered and the seal gave him a look. Now it looked like it was pouting.

“I wish I had my camera,” he told it.

The seal looked over its shoulder at the beach. It cast another glance at Fili and then slid from the jetty. Just like that, it disappeared beneath the waves and was gone again.

Fili gathered up his trash. It seemed surreal, like he had imagined the encounter with the seal. But there was a slice of tomato glistening in the sun on the jetty. He flipped it into the water, figuring something would eat it.

He whistled on his way back to the house. It looked like he had a neighbor of sorts, after all.


	13. Chapter 13

Fili spent most of the day sketching. Rather, he spent most of the day trying to sketch the seal and capture the sense of wonder he felt. By the time he finished, all he had to show for his efforts was one partially finished drawing, a wastebasket full of wadded up discards, and a pile of eraser crumbs. His back hurt from hunching over his desk, and he was getting a callus on the side of his finger. It was past time for a break.

The sun was low, but it wasn’t dark yet. A quick swim would help work out some of the stiffness, and then he could fix something for dinner. He changed into a pair of swim trunks, making a mental note to bring them up along with the others he had left downstairs so they could all be washed.

He jogged out into the water until it was deep enough, and then he dove in headfirst. He swam out further, reaching a spot where the waves were gentle swells, before flipping over and floating on his back. Fili closed his eyes, relaxing into the sensation of weightlessness.

It wasn’t long before his stomach growled, though. The light was changing, too. He’d go back to the house, fix something for dinner, and see if there was anything worth watching on the television. Fili made to stand up, only he went underwater without touching the bottom.

Breaking the surface with a gasp, he flipped his hair out of his eyes, treading water and looking around to get oriented. He’d floated out much more than he intended. After taking a deep breath, he dove under and started swimming for shore.

When he looked up again, he wasn’t any closer to land than before. That couldn’t be right, but when he tried to stand again he still couldn’t touch the bottom. He treaded water again to catch his breath, and even as he watched the shore seemed to recede. With a curse, he started swimming again.

Everything he ever heard about tides, undertows, and rip currents flashed through his mind. It wasn’t much beyond the warning to avoid them all. An old movie warning to ‘beware the under-toad’ was less than helpful. It brought to mind the seal, and sharks, and other things that would be willing to snack on a human.

Another look around showed that he was still no closer to shore. Fili’s anxiety shot up, and he told himself not to panic. He could swim, and he’d figure this out. He’d been swimming as long as he could remember. He wasn’t going to drown out here.

He got his bearings again, but stopped before making another attempt to swim. The jetty! Of course, how could he have forgotten it? He was not out past the end, so he could swim over to it. Since he’d be cutting across the current instead of against it, he’d be able to make it easily. Then he could climb the rocks and walk back to his house. He dove under and started swimming. A quick pause for breath showed that he was making progress. A few more minutes and he’d be out of the water.

He swam along the surface once he got closer so he could gauge his distance. What he hadn’t taken into account was how much stronger the current would be by the rocks. It made it into a struggle to control where he was going. He aimed for one of the boulders that looked like it would be easy to climb, but the waves caught him and threw him to the side.

Fili was able to protect his head, but his chest slammed into a jagged outcrop of stone. It knocked the breath out of him and broke the skin, and his hands got scraped as he tried to push away from it. The water sucked him back under.

Don’t panic. Follow the bubbles and they’ll take you back to the surface. He kept thinking this as a mantra. Except everything was burning, his eyes and abrasions from the sand and salt, his lungs from lack of air, his muscles from exhaustion. It was dark under the water, and everything was churning. The roar of the waves hitting the rocks was loud and confusing, and there were bubbles everywhere. He relaxed, knowing that tensing up would just make him sink. If he could hold on, the remaining air in his lungs would help him float up.

But then something brushed against his leg. Fili panicked.

He jerked away from whatever it was. He couldn’t see anything in the gloom, but bright spots were starting to dot his vision. He thrashed around, trying to reach air, but there was nothing but water. He couldn’t make out the sound of the surf anymore over his own heartbeat.

Something touched his shoulder, but the bright spots were turning black. The spots grew until they blanketed his sight. His last thought was that no one would ever find what remained of his body, and then the darkness took him.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Fili was throwing up before he was fully conscious. He was bringing up saltwater and bile, and it felt like glass in his throat.

“There you go,” someone said. “Let it come up.”

He rolled to his back and struggled to sit up, but started to retch again. A strong arm caught him and helped him lean over.

“You swallowed a lot of salt water,” the voice explained. “Best to get rid of it.”

Fili’s stomach calmed enough for him to take a deep breath. It hurt, though, and he started coughing hard enough to set his stomach spinning again. After a few dry heaves, it settled back down. He overbalanced and wobbled before the arm pulled him back against a firm chest. At least he didn’t face plant into his own sick.

Everything hurt. His head was pounding, stomach cramping, muscles aching, eyes burning, it even felt like his hair hurt. He was miserable, and Fili relished every last tiny discomfort because it meant he was alive to feel it.

“Better?” A hand brushed the hair out of Fili’s face.

Fili tried to get up, but he started coughing again. He wound up slumped back against the person behind him. When the coughing fit passed, he looked over his shoulder.

It was a man. Long, wet, dark hair was framing a pleasant face with laughing eyes. The man smiled at him and Fili’s heart gave a thump. Fili sat up, and the man kept a supportive hand on his shoulder.

Fili intended to express gratitude, hopefully in a way that did not make him sound like an idiot, but he got a better look at his savior and what came out was, “Where are your clothes?”

The man gave a little shrug with one shoulder and said, “You were drowning.”

He knew that trying to swim with shoes was a bad idea. Maybe this guy was wearing something heavy he couldn’t swim in? Regardless, he seemed at ease, sitting there in the nude with Fili sprawled between his legs.

“How are you feeling?” the guy asked.

“Sore,” Fili said before turning to face him fully. “You saved my life. Thank you.” Fili made sure to keep eye contact. Ogling the guy who saved your life was probably bad manners.

“Is there someone else here?”

Fili shook his head no before thinking that might not be a wise idea. But surely this guy wouldn’t save his life and then turn around and be some sort of naked axe murderer.

The man frowned at him. “Sometimes the lungs still have water. You shouldn’t be alone.” He had an accent Fili couldn’t place.

Fili asked, “Where did you come from?”

The man did that half-shrug again and waved his hand toward the beach.

Before he could ask anything else, Fili started coughing again. It felt like he was choking on sand. He spat to clear his mouth, and tried to stand up. The man jumped up and gave him a hand, then wrapped an arm around Fili’s waist and helped him up the stairs. Fili studiously ignored the very attractive, very naked body pressed against his side.

At the door, Fili said, “I probably have something you can wear home.”

The man frowned and looked out at the beach.

“The tide’s probably taken your clothes out to sea by now. Sorry.” Fili flipped on the lights, but they didn’t illuminate much beyond the house.

The guy turned to Fili and stopped, staring.

Fili frowned. He was wet and sandy, and probably looked like hell. He figured he got a free pass on that though, considering he almost died. He couldn’t keep the sullen tone out of his voice when he wiped a hand across his mouth and asked, “What?”

The guy ignored the tone. He gave Fili a brilliant smile, and touched a fingertip to Fili’s temple. “You have the sea in your eyes.”

Fili’s eyebrows raised at that. “What?”

“The colors,” the guy said, waving his hand in Fili’s direction before waving at the beach again. “Like the sea.”

“Oh.” Fili wasn’t quite sure if that was a compliment. He took a step back, into the house. “Um, come in and let me find you something to wear.”

He headed to his room, leaving the guy to follow along. He was digging up a pair of sweats when he had to stop and lean on the bureau to cough again. He started getting dizzy, but the guy was there, catching him around the waist and offering support. He stayed slumped over when he finished. He was exhausted and felt like he might vomit again. He pointed at the sweats, and said, “The bathroom is the second door.”

The guy grabbed the sweats, and started tugging Fili along. When Fili protested, he didn’t stop. He just said, “You first.”

Fili was too tired to argue. He let the man help him to the bathroom, but balked when the stranger showed signs of getting into the shower with him. “I can bathe myself, thanks.”

The man leaned on the counter and crossed his arms. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

Fili shot a death glare at the man, which had zero effect. This was taking entirely too much effort right now, though. He stepped into the shower and slid the curtain shut before taking off his swim trunks with a disgruntled, “Whatever.”

He was shaky, his head was throbbing, and it was a struggle to wash up without falling over. When he finished, the man was still standing there with his arms crossed. He handed Fili a towel, and then the sweatpants. After Fili slipped them on, the man helped him to the couch.

Fili was too worn out to argue. He just waved in the direction of his room and said, “I have something in there that will fit you.”

The guy nodded and headed to the bathroom. He left the door open and Fili heard the shower start. Fili pulled the quilt from the back of the couch, wrapped up in it, and laid down. His eyes were still burning from the salt water, so he closed them. He’d just rest until his naked savior got done in the shower.

Another coughing fit woke him. The guy was there, holding a bottle of water. Fili took it and drank half of it in greedy gulps, the cold soothing his throat. He had to stop and cough again before finishing the rest.

The man took the empty bottle before tucking the quilt around Fili’s shoulders. He smoothed Fili’s hair back and murmured, “Rest now. I’ll stay here and watch over you.”

It was weird, but it was also reassuring not to have to be alone after a near death experience. Fili’s eyes were already closing again when he whispered, “I don’t even know your name.”

“You can call me Kili. Now sleep.”

And Fili did.

 


	15. Chapter 15

The sun was up when Fili woke. The angle was all wrong, shining into his eyes when the shades should have kept it out, and it confused him for a moment until the events of last night came back in a rush. He gave a small experimental stretch, and every muscle in his body protested. He’d definitely overexerted himself, and he’d pay the price for it today. He sighed, and that set off a coughing fit.

A warm hand pressed against his forehead, and a voice asked, “Are you awake?”

Fili nodded and cracked open one eye. The guy from last night – he said his name was Kili, right? – was kneeling in front of the couch, holding out a bottle of water. Fili took it and sat up enough to drink half of it before laying back down. Not only was he sore, he was still exhausted.

Kili pressed his hand to Fili’s neck and said, “You feel warm.” He started playing with a strand of Fili’s hair while he talked. “Sometimes too much salt can make a human sick. You need to keep drinking fresh water. It will bring you back into balance.”

His naked savior seemed to be the touchy-feely type. A quick glance showed that Kili was no longer naked. He had on a pair of sweats that were identical to Fili’s, only they were brown to Fili’s blue. He was still bare-chested, though, and it was a lovely sight.

Dragging his eyes back to Kili’s face, Fili said, “I can’t remember if I thanked you last night or not.”

Kili said, “No thanks are necessary.”

“You saved my life. I’d say they are.”

Kili shrugged. He seemed uncomfortable with the gratitude, so Fili stopped. Instead he asked, “Where did you come from? I thought I was alone out here.”

With a vague gesture, Kili said, “From that direction.”

“How did you even know I was there?”

“I heard your call,” Kili said, making eye contact finally. He smiled and said, “Your eyes are beautiful. They seemed stormy grey last night. Now they’re calm blue.”

“They change like that sometimes,” Fili agreed, but he was still thinking of what Kili said. “How could you hear me yell for help over the waves?” He didn’t remember if he had yelled for help at all. It happened so fast.

Kili shook his head. “You called, and I heard you.”

With the unfamiliar accent, maybe there was a bit of a language barrier. Fili let it go. He wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, or a naked rescuer, as the case may be. He waved his hand at Kili’s legs and said, “I’m glad you found some sweats that fit.”

Kili nodded. “Yes, you said to find something to wear.” He plucked at the fabric on his thigh.

“Yeah, I did. Do you want a shirt, too?”

“Shirt?” Kili looked uncertain.

Fili stood up, fighting his way free from the quilt. “Yeah, let me grab you one. I could use one too. I’m cold.”

Kili was there, holding on to Fili’s arm. “You have a fever. You should rest more.”

Definitely the touchy-feely type. Not that Fili was complaining. He patted Kili’s hand and said, “I need up for a minute anyway.”

First he went to the bedroom and pulled out shirts for both of them. Kili helped Fili pull his on before dressing himself. Fili had to remind himself again not to ogle, but the sight of Kili in a t-shirt that was a size too small was something that was worth a second look. After he got a grip, he headed to the bathroom. Kili followed him, but Fili stopped him at the door.

“I can use the bathroom by myself, you know.”

“You shouldn’t be alone yet. What if you fall?” Kili showed no signs of budging.

Searching for a compromise, Fili said, “You can wait in the living room. I’ll leave the door unlocked. If I need help, I’ll yell. Then you can rescue me again. How’s that sound?”

After a moment to think it over, Kili drew himself up and said, “Fine. I’ll wait.”

When he showed no inclination to move from that spot, Fili decided it wasn’t worth the battle. By the time he had used the facilities and washed his hands, he was dizzy and out of breath. He opened the door, and Kili was right there, ready to help him back to the couch.

Once he was seated again, Fili asked, “Do you need to go pick up your car?”

Kili shook his head. “I don’t have a car.”

“You didn’t drive out here?”

Now Kili looked sheepish. “I don’t drive.”

Kili helped Fili get settled on the couch, wrapped in the quilt again. Fili’s mind was racing. There were no other houses nearby. If Kili didn’t have a car, and he hadn’t come from a house, what was he doing out here? Fili had heard of homeless people who would go to coastal areas. The temperature was often more moderate there, and they could sometimes camp on isolated beaches without too much harassment. Was Kili homeless? That didn’t seem like a polite thing to ask.

Instead, Fili tried asking, “Do you have gear you need to check on or something, then?”

Kili looked back out towards the beach, but pressed his lips together so tight they turned white as he shook his head no.

Fili’s heart sank. This kind man had saved his life, and lost his belongings to the tide in the process. Now he was here, taking care of Fili still, without even wanting so much as a thank you. Fili’s eyes welled up with tears. Before he could embarrass himself by actually crying, he had another coughing fit.

Kili’s attention was immediately back on Fili. He had one hand on Fili’s chest, using his other hand to rub circles on Fili’s back. He was murmuring something in a language Fili didn’t understand. When the fit passed, Kili told him, “I think you should rest more. You nearly drowned. The first day or so after that can be bad.”

Fili wanted to do something to repay Kili. He knew he was in no shape to play a gracious host, but he could at least make sure Kili had something to eat. He nodded, and asked, “Would you mind making us something for breakfast? Or brunch, whatever you want. The kitchen’s all yours.”

Kili looked from Fili to the kitchen and back again. “You want me to make food to share?”

“Please,” Fili said with a nod.

“Very well,” Kili told him with another one of those dazzling smiles. “I’ll make us food while you rest.”

Fili nodded and laid down on the couch while Kili headed into the kitchen. Those smiles were addictive. He wanted to see more of them. He was trying to think of ways to make Kili smile like that again, but he dozed off.


	16. Chapter 16

A gentle nudge to Fili’s shoulder woke him. Kili was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, giving him a smile. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. Before he could say anything, Kili was holding out a bottle of water. He took it and drained half of it before stopping.

“Thank you,” Fili said. “I don’t know why I’m so thirsty.”

“It’s the salt from the water. A lot of it stayed in your system, even though you brought up most of it. Are you hungry?”

Fili nodded, and Kili handed him part of a sandwich. When Fili looked, he saw that Kili had a pile of cut up sandwiches gathered in a napkin in his lap. Beside him on the floor was another napkin that had carrots on it. Closer inspection showed that the sandwich had cheese and lettuce in it, but that was it. No condiments or meat of any sort. The sandwiches had been cut up enough to be almost bite-sized, too. Kili was giving him an anxious look though, so he popped his sandwich bite into his mouth and chewed with a smile.

When his mouth was clear, he said, “There’s some roast beef or turkey in there, if you wanted something else on your sandwich.”

Kili looked at the pile of food in his lap before saying, “I didn’t know what your stomach could take. I don’t know what you like either, but you seem to like cheese.” He passed another morsel to Fili.

Fili took it and chewed. Liking cheese was a safe bet. He thought he had four kinds in the fridge right now. The sandwich was a little dry, and he coughed when he swallowed. Kili handed him the water again.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Fili asked after he took a sip.

“I’ll eat when you finish,” Kili told him and held up a carrot.

He held it so close Fili was tempted to eat it right out of his hand. Instead he accepted it with his fingers. He had to be imagining the slightly disappointed look Kili gave him. He was able to handle a few more bites before he had to wave Kili away.

“Do you not like the food?” Kili asked, looking down at the pile of sandwich bites he still had.

“I liked it. My stomach is still unsettled, though. I don’t think I should eat much more until I see if I can keep this down.”

Kili looked relieved. “Then I’ll eat now, yes?”

Fili nodded. As if he had been waiting for permission, Kili started wolfing down the carrots and remains of the cut up sandwich. It made Fili feel bad, wondering when the last time Kili had a good meal. He resolved to cook a hot dinner once he was feeling better. For now, he asked, “Would you like to make us something hot to drink? I have some nice teas in jars in the cupboard. You can make one.”

Kili slowly lowered the bite he was about to put in his mouth. Without looking at Fili, he muttered, “I don’t know how.”

“That’s okay,” Fili tried to reassure him. “Most people use a plain kettle, but I have one of those new fancy machines. I’ll show you how to use it.”

It was a struggle to get off the couch. The inactivity had Fili feeling sore and stiff. Kili helped him stand, and then hovered all the way to the kitchen. Once there, Fili had Kili sit on a stool, and pulled all the different types of teas out of the counter.

“Here, pick one,” Fili said, and opened a tin. He took a sniff of it, and held it in Kili’s direction.

Kili smelled it and wrinkled his nose.

Smiling, Fili said, “So not that one. Here, try this.”

They spent several minutes opening each tin, smelling the contents, and then moving on to the next. Kili went back and smelled a few of them a second time before finally handing a tea to Fili, with a decisive “This one.”

“Good choice. That’s my favorite.” Kili beamed at him, and Fili couldn’t resist returning the smile before saying, “Now watch and you can see how to work the tea maker.”

Kili stood right behind him as Fili explained where to add the water, and showed how much of the loose tea went into the little basket with the filter. “For this type of tea, it’s this button, right here.” He pointed, and told Kili, “Now push it.”

The button was pushed, and Kili’s face lit up when the machine gurgled and started to heat the water. “Thank you for showing me how to make tea.”

“It’s really no big deal. I’m sure you would have figured it out. Besides, it’s a poor payment for you saving my life. Thank you again.”

Kili shook his head, saying, “You act as if you are beholden to me.”

“Like I’m not?”

A faint blush dusted the top of Kili’s cheeks and he looked down. “In that case, I would ask a boon of you.”

“A boon? Oh, you mean a favor? Uh, sure. I mean, if I can do something to repay you, I will.” Fili meant it, but his heart sank. Had Kili somehow found out about his money? He couldn’t think of what else it would be.

Kili’s blush deepened as he stammered, “I can understand if you do not wish to share, but the boon, the favor that is, I want,” Kili took a deep breath and finished in a rush. “I would like to know your name.”

“My name?” Fili was left staring slack-jawed.

“Never mind, it was presumptuous of me –“

“No!” Fili caught Kili’s hand. “I just can’t believe that I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Fili.”

“Fili.” Kili’s accent gave it an exotic sounding lilt. He gave Fili a big smile, and without breaking eye contact, he leaned down and brushed his lips in a suggestion of a kiss across Fili’s knuckles. His breath was hot on the back of Fili’s hand when he murmured, “Well met, Fili.”

His brain short-circuited. All Fili could do was blink slowly while staring down into those big dark eyes. He couldn’t think of a reply at all, much less anything that would make any sort of sense. He licked his lips, and still nothing came to him.

The chime on the tea rang out, breaking the spell. Fili wasn’t sure if he was glad or not.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Fili poured both of them a cup of tea, and doctored his with a little bit of honey to soothe his throat. Kili watched, and fixed his tea exactly as Fili did. Fili took a seat at the table, and Kili joined him. Kili waited for Fili to take a sip before drinking. It was a little unnerving, the way Kili seemed to mirror Fili’s actions. Fili sat his tea on the table and watched Kili do the same.

“Do you have family around here?” Fili asked. He was hoping to get more information, since Kili hadn’t been very forthcoming so far. Then again, it wasn’t like they’ve talked a lot, what with the whole life saving and caretaking stuff going on.

“No. Do you?” Kili took another sip of his tea, watching Fili.

Fili shook his head. “No, my family passed away recently.” He felt a pang at saying that, and sighed.

“I’m sorry.” Kili reached over and took Fili’s hand.

“It was an accident,” Fili murmured as he stared at Kili’s hand. He flipped his palm up and laced his fingers with Kili’s. Kili’s hand felt so warm. “A part on their car broke and they couldn’t stop. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but I’m still angry. I lost both of my parents over a stupid manufacturing error.”

“I think you’re entitled to your anger. Do you have anyone else? Brothers? Sisters?” Kili rubbed his thumb in little circles across Fili’s knuckles.

“I’m an only child. It’s just me now.” Fili sniffled, but then gave a little self-depreciating laugh. He gently took his hand back as he said, “But you don’t need to listen to me whine. You already saved my life, you don’t have to play therapist as well.”

“Sometimes people need different types of saving,” Kili said, giving him a sympathetic look.

Unsure how to respond, Fili took a sip of his tea. It must have gone down wrong, because he started coughing again. Kili leaned over and rubbed his shoulder until the fit passed. Fili tried taking another sip of his tea, and this time managed to swallow without choking.

After watching to make sure Fili was done, Kili asked him, “Why are you here? In this house, I mean.”

“I wanted a fresh start. I needed to be in a place without memories, if that makes sense.” He gave a little shrug.

Kili nodded. “I understand. The past can weigh heavy at times.”

“Exactly.” They shared a smile, but Fili coughed again. “Sorry. My throat is still hurting. That’s what I get for trying to drink the sea, I guess.”

“Maybe you should rest more.”

Fili was still aching all over. Apparently almost drowning was physically taxing. He nodded and asked, “Relaxing on the couch sounds good. Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

Kili bit his lip and threw a glance out the window before saying, “I need to go check on something.”

“Oh. Okay then,” Fili said with a sinking heart. Of course Kili would want to see if his clothes were still there, or if they had washed away. He muttered, “You probably have better things to do than babysit me, anyway.”

Kili gave him a smile and said, “There’s nothing I’d rather do than spend time with you. It won’t take me long, and then I’ll come straight back. If you’ll have me, that is.”

“I’d love you have you.” Fili felt his face flame when Kili’s grin widened. “I mean I’d like it if you came back.”

Kili laughed and stood up. “Then I’ll hurry, and when I get back I’d be happy to see anything you want to show me.” He winked and then left.

After watching Kili jog down the stairs, Fili laid his head down on the table, letting the cool surface soothe his blush. Maybe he had actually drowned and this was some sort of oxygen deprived delusion before he died. Getting rescued by a gorgeous flirt of a man was just not something that happened to someone like him.

He rose and put the cups in the sink before going to check the contents of his freezer. He was still determined to make Kili a decent meal, no matter if he was sore or not. It was the least he could do. He took some steaks out to defrost. While he was at it, he pulled a bottle of wine out of the pantry. This was only to repay Kili for his kindness and help.

Even so, he figured he’d have time to take a quick shower and put on something better than sweats before Kili got back.


	18. Chapter 18

While the steaks were defrosting, Fili showered. The hot water helped loosen up his muscles, and made him feel almost human again. It stung on his hands, and he had scrapes and bruises he didn’t remember getting. All in all, it was a fair exchange for not being dead.

He put his hair back in a thick braid to keep it out of the way. Blue jeans would be fine, it isn’t like he was trying to get dressed up. He chose the lavender shirt because it was comfortable, not because he knew it made his eyes look brighter, and Kili liked his eyes. Hiking boots completed his outfit. After a brief hesitation, he used a dab of the expensive aftershave. Just a little, hardly enough to tell it was there, because this was a thank you dinner. It wasn’t a date or anything.

A knock on the door caused his heart to flutter. Trying to appear composed, he resisted the urge to dash to the door and walked instead.

Kili gave him a brilliant smile when he opened the door. Fili returned it, and moved so Kili could come in.

When Kili walked past, Fili lost his smile. With a rush of guilt, he saw Kili was bare-handed. Here he was, primping for dinner, and Kili had nothing. There was no way he could repay Kili for saving him, but he could do something about this, at least.

“Change of plans,” Fili said.

While Kili frowned at him in confusion, Fili went to the closet. He found a pair of flip-flops that would have to do. The rest of his shoes would be too small for Kili. He handed them to Kili and went to put the steaks in the fridge. They could wait.

“What’s this?” Kili asked.

“We’re going to town to go shopping.” Fili grabbed his keys from the counter.

“Shopping?” Kili was still looking confused and a little alarmed.

“Yeah. We can pick up something for dinner while we’re there.”

Kili looked over his shoulder to the door. He edged closer to it like he was thinking of throwing the shoes and making a break for it.

“Do you like burgers?” Fili asked, trying to figure out what had Kili looking so spooked. With the memory of the cheese sandwich, he asked, “Do you eat meat? Or are you a vegetarian?”

Kili looked back at him, but still looked apprehensive. “I eat meat.”

“We can go pick you up a new outfit, and then we’ll grab some burgers. We can bring them back here and eat on the deck if you like. How’s that sound?”

“We’ll come back here? We won’t stay in town?” Kili relaxed enough that he didn’t look like he was going to bolt.

“Right. We can pick up some beer while we’re there, too,” Fili said with a nod.

“Shopping,” Kili murmured as he looked at the shoes in his hands. His accent gave the word a different sound, almost as if it were a town in some exotic location, and not a mundane chore.

“To get you some clothes,” Fili encouraged.

That made Kili frown at him again. “You don’t need to get me anything.”

“I know. I want to, though. Will you let me?”

“Would it make you happy?” Kili searched Fili’s face.

Fili nodded.

With a decisive nod, Kili said, “Then we will go to town and go shopping. We’ll grab burgers and come back here.” He lowered his voice and confided, “I’ve not been to the town before.”

“I haven’t either, except to go grocery shopping. I guess it will be a new adventure for both of us,” Fili said with a smile.

Kili returned the smile and said, “I’d like to share an adventure with you.”

Fili felt his face begin to heat up, but he ignored it. He said, “Then let’s go see what we can find.”

“Okay,” Kili agreed and followed him out of the door, still carrying the shoes.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Kili didn’t like riding in the car. He didn’t say so, but he didn’t have to. Fili drove as carefully as he could, but Kili still had a white-knuckle grip on his seatbelt and the car door. It was a little better when they got to town, and Kili could look at buildings as they passed. Once they parked and got out, he heaved a sigh of relief that made Fili smile.

“Come on, I’m not that bad of a driver,” Fili teased.

Kili gave an apologetic smile and said, “I don’t like cars.”

“I think there’s a shuttle bus that runs to the public beach,” Fili mused.

“I don’t like all the metal.” Kili shook his head, then turned to watch a man walking his dog.

Fili looked at his car. He knew that some of the fancy sports cars had fiberglass bodies. He didn’t see the point in spending that much money on a car, though. Especially not if he was going to be living by the ocean. You can’t escape metal in a car entirely, and saltwater causes rust. Maybe he’d change his mind when he reached midlife crisis age. With a shrug, he turned to follow Kili, who had wandered to the edge of the parking lot.

“Right, first things first,” he said when he caught up. “Let’s get you some clothes.” Fili looked around, but wasn’t sure where to go. There seemed to be more stores and people to the left, so he pointed and asked Kili, “Want to try this way?”

Kili looked uncertain, but nodded. He followed along when Fili started walking.

Kili also didn’t like people. It wasn’t obvious at first. When someone passed by, he’d edge a little closer to Fili. It wasn’t until a large group of laughing teen boys passed by, and Kili got so close he stepped on Fili’s heel, that Fili really took notice. Kili mumbled an apology, but walked near enough that their shoulders bumped. Fili took Kili by the wrist, intending to pull him to the side, but Kili flipped his hand and latched on to Fili’s with a death grip. Fili didn’t pull loose, he just guided Kili to stand beside the wall where they’d be out of the way of the other people on the sidewalk.

“Are you okay?” Fili asked.

“I didn’t expect so many people,” Kili said. He was looking around with wide eyes, lips pressed tight together.

“I didn’t either, honestly. It must be tourist season. Do you want to wait in the car? I can grab us something and we can come back a different time if you like.”

That got Kili’s attention. He looked at Fili and said, “No, it’s okay. Maybe we can go somewhere without so many people, though.”

Fili looked around and saw a small clothing boutique. Reasoning that Kili might be more comfortable in clothes of his own, he led the way there.

The store was empty of customers. There was only one clerk, who looked up when the bell on the door chimed. She gave a friendly wave, but went back to flipping through a magazine. There were the traditional tourist shirts in the front of the store, but Kili was grimacing at them so Fili tugged him toward the rear. They found a section of men’s clothing that didn’t scream ‘out of towner’ and started to look around.

At first, Kili clung to Fili, refusing to let go. He started to relax, and then something caught his eye and he went for a closer look. While Kili was nosing around, Fili grabbed a few outfits that he thought would fit. He handed them to Kili, and sent him to the changing room.

The first pair of pants didn’t fit right. They were too short and too tight in the waist. Kili handed them over the door and tried on pair number two. He stepped out to show Fili. Fili wrinkled his nose. The pants might fit, but they were unflattering. Kili vanished back into the changing room while Fili flipped through the rack, looking for something else.

Stepping out again, Kili was in the third pair of pants. They were a pair of khakis, and they accented the muscles in Kili’s legs, not to mention making them look longer. Fili gave him a thumbs up and got a bright smile in return.

The next time Kili emerged from the dressing room, he was wearing a dull yellow shirt that made him look sallow.

All of this had captured the clerk’s attention. After looking Kili up and down, she asked, “May I?”

Kili looked to Fili, and Fili nodded.

The clerk wasted no time. She grabbed a couple of things along with a pair of shoes, and set them inside the dressing room. After a murmured instruction to Kili, she went back to her counter.

When Kili stepped back out, Fili stopped to stare. Kili had on the khakis, with a navy blue shirt. Over that was a gray and navy button down, and the loafers completed the look.

“Dude, nice,” the clerk said when she looked up. “Next time get a little closer to the razor, and with a haircut you could be somebody’s yacht daddy.”

Kili raised a hand to his head, trying to smooth out his unruly hair. He looked to Fili.

With a smile, Fili told him, “I like your hair. Do you like the clothes?”

“Yes, very much,” Kili said with a nod.

“We’ll take them,” Fili told the clerk. “He’s wearing them out.”

As she rung them up and bagged Kili’s old outfit for them, Kili was captivated by something in a basket by the register. When Fili looked, he saw it was a necklace of cowrie shells, strung together on a cord with a bunch of beads. They can be found in any tourist trap along any shore, but Kili seemed fascinated. When Fili added one to the list, Kili gave him a big smile before putting it around his neck.

After paying, Fili carried the bag, and Kili waved to the clerk and then followed him to the sidewalk.

“Burgers now?” Fili asked.

“Burgers,” Kili agreed, and took Fili’s free hand. This time he was clinging less, and holding more.

Fili glanced at their joined hands and then smiled at Kili. When the smile was returned, he picked a direction and they started walking. They fell into step like they’d been walking together all their lives. Fili couldn’t deny he enjoyed the feeling.


	20. Chapter 20

Fili intended on getting their dinner to go and taking Kili home. They passed a place that had live music on the patio, though, and Kili was so enraptured by it Fili decided to stay. They were able to get a seat out on the patio. Kili sat facing the band, and Fili sat facing Kili.

To call them a band was overly optimistic. It was two guys, one playing a guitar and one on a battered looking keyboard. They were taking turns singing. Right now they were playing Jimmy Buffett’s “Cheeseburger In Paradise” and Fili had to resist rolling his eyes. Instead, he buried his nose in the menu. He peeked over the top to watch Kili, though.

Kili seemed a lot more relaxed now. He was leaning back in the seat, looking at the people walking by and tapping his toes to the music. He caught Fili looking at him and with a smile he said, “This is nice. Thank you.”

Fili looked around and had to agree. The sun was going down and there was a nice breeze. The crowds had started to thin, but there were still a few people walking around. The patio had plants all around, making it seem like a little oasis in the middle of town. There was a fountain to one side, adding the sound of a waterfall between songs.

The waitress came by and dropped off a loaf of dark bread, still warm from the oven, with three different types of butters. Fili ordered, and Kili just said he’d have the same thing, and she hurried off. She was only gone a moment before she was back with their drinks.

Kili sampled all the butters on bits of the bread, and insisted Fili do the same. Kili was trying to decide if he liked the orange or cinnamon better when the waitress came back with their burgers. Fili watched with amusement when Kili wrinkled his nose and meticulously picked off every scrap of tomato and set them aside.

After they finished, they decided to share a dessert and ordered Bananas Foster. The chef came out with a little rolling cart and made it tableside. Kili watched with wide eyes and gasped when the liquor caught fire and flames shot up. He looked to Fili with concern, but relaxed when he saw Fili’s smile. In the end, he ate most of the dessert because Fili was stuffed.

They settled the tab and stuffed a few bucks into the band’s tip jar, and headed back towards the car. It was the most natural thing in the world to take Kili’s hand when he offered it. They strolled along, taking their time now that the streets were almost empty. Occasionally one of them would stop to look in a window or point something out. Fili saw a flyer for a carnival coming soon and suggested they go, but Kili gave a noncommittal hum at the idea.

Getting home was not any easier for Kili, and he acted relieved when they pulled up at Fili’s house. By the time they got to the top of the stairs, he had regained his smile.

Fili unlocked the door, but hesitated to open it. He left the key dangling from the lock when he turned to Kili and asked, “Would you like to spend the night?” Kili’s eyebrows popped up, and Fili felt his face start to warm. He hastily added, “I mean, I’ve got a spare bedroom. I’ve probably got some pajamas that will fit you, too.”

Kili’s slow grin didn’t help Fili’s blush. It only made it worse when Kili took a step closer and murmured, “I’d love to stay the night with you, but I can’t.”

“Oh.” Fili tried to hide his disappointment by turning away to open the door. Kili caught his shoulder and gently turned him back around, though.

“I’d like to come back to visit you, if I may,” Kili said.

Fili looked up at Kili and found only sincerity in his face. He nodded and Kili gave him a smile before leaning closer. Kili kissed him, just a light brush of lips, and then took a step back.

“Until next time,” Kili said, and then he turned and trotted down the stairs.

Fili watched him, but then didn’t want to be left staring after him like a dog waiting for its owner to return. He went in the house, turned on the light, and kicked his shoes off by the door. He couldn’t resist one last look, but when he turned back around Kili was nowhere in sight. All he saw was the moonlight reflecting off the waves and an empty beach.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Fili had forgotten that Dori was coming and bringing his brothers. When the knock rang out, he looked up with a smile, only to lose it when he saw it wasn’t Kili. Then he felt guilty because he didn’t want them to think he wasn’t happy to see them, so he pasted on another smile. He opened the door to greet them and waved them inside.

Nori stayed on the deck as Ori and Dori entered, and asked Fili, “What are you getting into?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“Because I used to have a dog that got that same expression when he tore up the garbage,” Nori said as he pointed at Fili’s face.

“Nori!” scolded a scandalized Dori from the kitchen.

Unrepentant, Nori gave a little salute and jogged down the stairs.

Ori was behind Fili, shifting from foot to foot. He asked, “Do you mind if I…” and waved a hand in the direction of the beach.

“No, go ahead,” Fili told him.

Ori was out of the door in a flash, calling after Nori. Something about the seaweed, but Fili didn’t pay attention. He went into the kitchen, where Dori was making tea and uncovering a plate of scones he had brought.

“Nori’s rude about it, but he has a point,” Dori said, after he set a scone on a plate and handed it to Fili. “You looked a little jumpy when we got here. Is everything all right?”

“Everything’s fine. I was sort of expecting someone else, that’s all,” Fili assured him.

Dori accepted that, and headed to the living room to start washing windows.

Fili decided to make lunch, and figured burgers would do. Surely he couldn’t screw those up too badly if the whole outdoor cooking thing backfired. He got the patties ready and went outside to start up the grill.

With the breeze coming from the water, it took him a few tries. He finally got the coals lit, though, and went back in while they burned down. He sliced onions and tomatoes, put the buns in the oven to warm, and prepared a head of lettuce before taking the patties out and putting them on the grill.

The first one he tried to flip over fell apart. Chunks of beef slid between the grill and landed on the hot coals with a hiss. Fili frowned at it, and used the spatula to poke the rest of the patty between the grate. He let the others cook a little more so they’d hold together.

While he was waiting, he watched Ori and Nori. Nori might act grumpy, but every time Ori ran over to show him something, he paused what he was doing. Ori would explain whatever he held in high, excited tones that Fili could barely make out before running back to where he was digging in the sand. Nori would go back to raking up seaweed until the whole process started again.

Something smelled like it was burning, catching Fili’s attention. The meat he had pushed through the grate had caught fire, popping and sputtering. The flare up had started burning the edge of one patty. It wasn’t too bad yet, so he eased it away from the flame. This time when he flipped them, the patties held together. Well, more or less, anyway. A couple of them cracked and split.

They seemed to be a success, at least. Dori fussed about Fili cooking for them until Fili pointed out the food would go to waste if uneaten. Nori methodically ate his way through three burgers before leaning back and thanking Fili with a sigh. Ori turned his nose up at the lettuce, but ate two burgers and almost a whole bag of Cheetos.

After dinner, Nori and Ori volunteered to clean up. Ori did the dishes while Nori dealt with the grill. Dori and Fili sat on the deck with their tea.

Fili couldn’t resist a glance up and down the beach, but he didn’t see anyone. He asked, “Is there a shelter or soup kitchen anywhere around here?”

Dori thought for a moment before answering. “I think the closest one is about forty miles inland. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

When they left, it was with a promise to come back next week. Fili closed the door behind them, but shot another glance at the beach before turning away.

Forty miles was a long way for someone who couldn’t drive. It was even longer for someone who didn’t like to be in cars at all. Kili had said he’d come back but he hadn’t said when. It could be days before Fili saw him again.

Before settling at his desk, Fili turned on the television and flipped it to an old movie. It made the house seem a little less quiet, but it was an empty solace.


	22. Chapter 22

Fili was out of milk, so he went to pick some up. While he was at the store, he decided to do some serious grocery shopping and filled the cart. Because he had a craving, he also picked up different types of ice cream, toppings, whipped cream, and bananas. He grabbed a small jar of maraschino cherries, and was all set to make banana splits. Maybe he should look into getting an ice cream maker too.

Thoughts of ice cream flew from his head when he pulled up to the house, though. Kili was there, sitting on the hammock strung under the house and staring out at the sea. He turned around and beamed a smile when he saw Fili pull up. He stood up and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, waiting for Fili to get out of the car.

When Fili opened the door, Kili bounced on his toes and said, “You came back.”

Fili knew he was grinning like a fool, but he couldn’t stop. He nodded and said, “I live here, of course I came back. You came back too.”

Kili was grinning just as broadly, and didn’t seem to care. “I told you I would.”

After a moment, Fili realized he was staring. He turned to grab the bags from the backseat and asked, “Do you like banana splits?”

“Banana splits? Like at the restaurant?” Kili sounded uncertain, but he hurried forward to help Fili with the groceries.

“I guess a little. You’ve never had a banana split?” Fili looked over his shoulder in time to see Kili shaking his head. “Oh, you’re in for a treat, then. One of the best things about being an adult is being able to say screw it and have ice cream for dinner.”

Kili brightened at that. “I like ice cream.”

“Let me get everything put away, then I’ll fix some for us.”

Together they got everything up the stairs. Fili put away everything he wouldn’t need, and got bowls from the cupboard. He peeled a couple of bananas and sliced them in two, lining the bowls with them. He opened the chocolate ice cream, and his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at it before answering with a sigh. “Hi, Bard.”

“It’s alive!” Bard said. “I was starting to wonder, since you’ve been ignoring my emails.”

“Sorry about that,” Fili said with a guilty flush. He glanced at Kili, who was watching him, and said, “Can I call you back? I have company.”

“No, since you’ve been blowing me off. And you don’t have company.”

“Yes I do.”

“No you don’t. You don’t even know anyone there. You’ve only been there a few weeks.”

Fili pulled the phone away from his ear, but Bard kept talking. He leaned close to Kili and told him, “Smile. I’m sending Bard a picture.”

Kili nodded and smiled, and Fili snapped the shot and sent it. He lifted the phone to his ear once more and interrupted Bard. “Check your messages.”

A few seconds of silence and then Bard was back. “You really do have company! What’s his name?”

“His name is Kili, and I’m hanging up now.”

“Wait. Are you like, dating him?”

“Goodbye, Bard.”

“I expect details tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Bard.”

Bard was saying something else, but Fili swiped the screen and hung up. He told Kili, “Sorry about that. Bard can be a little pushy sometimes.”

“That’s okay,” Kili said with a shrug.

“He’s been my best friend for years.” Fili wasn’t sure why, but he felt the need to explain that he and Bard were only friends. “He was there for me when my parents died. I was there for him when his wife died. His kids call me Uncle Fili.”

Kili gave him a smile. “It’s good to have someone who cares.”

Fili nodded. He went to put the phone back into his pocket, but the picture was still on the screen. It showed him smiling at the camera, but Kili was smiling at him. Instead of deleting it, he pressed the button and the screen went black. He looked up, and Kili was smiling at him now, too. He returned it and said, “Now, where were we? Right, banana splits.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

Kili loved ice cream. Fili watched in amazement as Kili finished his first banana split, then made another one and ate that too.

“Aren’t you getting a stomach ache?” Fili asked, as Kili was eyeballing the freezer once more.

Kili shook his head. “I’ve never gotten one before.”

“I do, if I eat too many sweets.” Maybe suggesting banana splits for dinner was a bad idea. Fili was full, but he asked, “Would you like something besides ice cream?”

Kili was staring at the bananas with something like regret. He shook his head and said, “I’ve eaten enough for now.”

“Are you sure? I can fix something if you’d like.”

“Maybe later. What did you do today?” Kili turned sideways in his seat, giving Fili his full attention.

They talked long enough that Fili had to turn on the lights. While he was up, he stuck the bowls in the sink and rinsed them out. Once that was taken care of, he asked, “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

With a glance outside, Kili said, “I should be going.”

“Where do you even go?” Fili blurted. When Kili frowned at him, he hastened to add, “I’m just curious. I’m not a stalker, I swear. Where do you live?”

Kili looked out the window again and waved a hand. “Out there.”

Fili wanted to press for something more than a vague answer, but he didn’t want to make Kili uncomfortable or scare him away. Instead, he said, “Will you come back for dinner tomorrow? I’ll make something besides ice cream next time.”

“I can do that,” Kili said as he stood and reached to cup Fili’s face in his hand. “Thank you for the ice cream.”

“You’re welcome,” Fili murmured.

Kili leaned in and gave Fili a chaste peck. “Until tomorrow, then.”

Fili nodded, and Kili gave him a last smile before leaving.

 


	24. Chapter 24

His phone was ringing. Fili flailed at the nightstand before snagging it. He swiped a thumb across the screen, held it to his ear, and gave a grunt.

“You were sleeping.” There was no doubt in the tone, but no apology either.

“It’s early, Bard.” Fili rolled over and squinted at the sunlight. “Isn’t it?”

“It’s almost lunchtime.”

“Shit. I didn’t sleep well last night.” Fili yawned and stretched.

“Ooh, did your mysterious date keep you up late? I told you I wanted details.”

Fili sat up and swung his feet to the floor. “There isn’t a lot to tell. We had banana splits.”

“Is that a euphemism for something kinky?” Bard sounded confused.

That made Fili laugh. “No, we had bananas with ice cream and toppings. You know what a banana split is.”

Still sounding confused, Bard said, “So you invited a hot guy back to your place, gave him ice cream, and what? He went home?”

Around another yawn, Fili answered, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Christ, I thought you moved to the beach, not the nineteenth century. What big date idea is next? Giving him a ride on your penny-farthing to watch the local barbershop quartet perform?”

“Fuck off,” Fili said without animosity. He and Bard had been teasing each other for years, so he was used to it. “He’s coming back for dinner tonight.”

“So tell me about him. What does he do?”

Fili shrugged, even though Bard wouldn’t see it. “I don’t think he does a lot.”

“He doesn’t have a job?” Bard sounded disapproving.

“Hey, I don’t have a job either.” Fili couldn’t help but bristle at the tone.

“You know I don’t mean it like that. Besides, you don’t need a job. You need to get your life together, and that’s enough of a job.”

“Jeez, thanks.”

Bard sighed. “You know I don’t mean it like that, either. You’ve been through a lot recently. It’s enough to knock anyone off balance. Taking the time to regain your footing is a good thing.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I just don’t want to see you get into trouble with some gold digger.”

“He hasn’t asked me about money, or anything like that.”

“What does he think you do, then?”

Fili frowned, trying to remember if he mentioned it, or if Kili had asked. “I don’t think the topic’s come up.”

“Okay then, does he live by you?”

“Um. I guess?”

“You guess. What do you mean you guess? Where does he live? In town?”

Great. Bard was using his dad voice. Fili winced and said in a rush, “I think he might be homeless.”

There was dead silence on the line. Fili could imagine Bard sitting at his kitchen table, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

“I mean, I haven’t exactly asked,” Fili went on, trying to mitigate the damage.

“Fili.”

“I asked him where he lived and he said close by,” Fili kept explaining.

“Fili.” Bard was using that dad voice still.

“I just don’t think there’s another house too terribly close, is all. He hasn’t flat out said he’s homeless.”

“Fili.”

“He could have a beautiful house somewhere and he’s just vacationing at the beach. I don’t know.” Fili knew he was sounding defensive but he couldn’t seem to stop his mouth from running.

“So you’re dating a homeless guy, and you think he doesn’t care about your money at all.”

“Don’t use that tone with me,” Fili snapped.

“What tone?”

“You know damn good and well what tone. That Tommy Lee Jones, disappointed dad tone.”

Bard let loose a startled laugh. “I don’t have a dad tone!”

“Oh, you totally have a dad tone. Just ask the kids.”

“Speaking of, Sigrid asked if we were going to visit you at the beach. Tilda wants to know if you’ve seen any mermaids.”

That made Fili smile. “No mermaids, but I’ve seen a seal. I’ll try and get a picture for her. You know you’re welcome to come and visit any time.”

“I think Sigrid was imagining cute surfers. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

The conversation went on to safer topics until Fili mentioned getting ready for his dinner that evening.

Bard sighed and told him, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“It’s just a meal, Bard.”

“So you’re telling me you’re giving him a meal out of the kindness of your heart and it’s stopping there?” When Fili was silent, Bard said, “I just worry about you alone out there. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I know. I’m being careful.”

“Speaking of being careful, do you have condoms?”

Fili tried to think. “I’m not sure.”

“Fili.”

“There it is!”

“What?”

“The disappointed dad thing again.”

Bard laughed but said, “Go to the store.”

“I will.”

“And I want details tomorrow.”

“Goodbye, Bard.”


	25. Chapter 25

Fili ran to the store and got the things to make a meatloaf with mashed potatoes and mushroom gravy. He knew it wasn’t creative, but it was easy. To make up for being unoriginal, he also grabbed stuff for strawberry shortcake. He added extra whipped cream after remembering how much Kili liked it on ice cream. He also took Bard’s advice and grabbed lube and condoms. No one said he had to use them. It would be better to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them, anyway. After a brief hesitation, he also got the things to make French toast for breakfast. What could he say? He was an optimist.

Back at home, he put everything away, including tucking the condoms into a drawer by his bed and out of sight. The last thing he wanted to do was make Kili feel obligated.

He assembled the shortcakes and put them in the fridge before mixing together the meatloaf. He didn’t know what time Kili would be coming, but he reasoned it was late enough in the day to go ahead and put it in the oven. He could always reheat it later.

After a quick tidying of the house, Fili took a shower. He left his hair loose, and decided to wear a blue tank top with matching blue and yellow shorts. He knew the way the top clung to him accented his biceps and made his shoulders look broader.

He turned on the computer and started some music before deciding that was way too cheesy. Instead he turned on the television and found a movie that looked somewhat interesting. Before he sat down, he checked on the meatloaf, and was peering into the oven when there was a knock on the door.

Kili was there, beaming a smile and bouncing on his toes with his hands behind his back. As soon as Fili opened the door, he leaned forward and said, “I came back.”

Fili laughed at Kili’s eagerness. He was helpless to do anything but return the smile and answer, “Yes, you did.”

“And I brought you a present,” Kili said as he pulled it from behind his back.

When Fili held his hand out, Kili handed him a glass sphere a little larger than a grapefruit. It was a beautiful aqua color, and lighter than he expected. He looked up at Kili and murmured, “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

“It reminds me of your eyes.”

Fili felt his cheeks heating up as he looked at it again and asked, “Where did you get it?”

Using a thumb to gesture over his shoulder, Kili said, “The water.”

“You found it on the beach?”

Kili shrugged and nodded.

Looking closer, Fili saw scrapes and scratches along the sides of the glass. It looked like a mark of some sort was etched on the bottom, and a pattern laid along the sides. Fili frowned and asked, “Is this an authentic Japanese glass float?”

“You don’t like it?”

When Fili looked up again, Kili had lost his smile. Now he was fidgeting and frowning. Fili hastened to assure him, “No, I do, I love it. It’s just these things are worth a lot of money, if it’s real.”

“I don’t know about that. I saw it and thought of you, and thought you might like it.” Kili frowned at the float.

Fili had a dozen questions he wanted to ask, but he let them go. He could ask later, after dinner. For now, he wanted to enjoy his evening, and he wanted Kili to enjoy it too. So instead he said, “I do. We can worry about whether it’s real or not later. Would you like something to drink?”

Kili nodded and regained his smile. Fili carefully set the float in the basket with the seashells and went to the kitchen. He offered Kili a beer, but after sniffing it, Kili refused with a grimace. Fili drank the beer while Kili stuck to tea.

When Fili started peeling potatoes, Kili offered to help. Once Kili was busy peeling, Fili chopped the items for a salad, leaving the tomatoes on the side at Kili’s request. Kili reached over and stole a slice of cucumber when he thought Fili wasn’t looking.

They kept the conversation light for the most part. When Fili was mashing the cooked potatoes, he held up a small can and showed it to Kili. “The secret is using evaporated milk, according to my mom.”

Fili realized he hadn’t thought about his parents all day. He didn’t remember thinking of them the day before, either. It made him feel guilty, which made him feel worse because he knew they would want him to heal and go on with his life.

“What’s wrong?” Kili asked him.

“I still miss my parents.”

Kili stole another cucumber slice from the salad and said, “Tell me about them.”

So Fili did. He touched on their deaths, but mainly talked about their lives. He told how his mother taught him to make mashed potatoes with evaporated milk and real butter. He talked about how his father would sing classic rock songs while mowing the lawn. He remembered them with a smile, and it made it easier.

They got dinner on the table, and sat down to eat. When Kili ate everything, Fili offered him seconds.

“What’s your favorite food?” Fili asked. Maybe he could make it next time.

“This,” Kili gestured with his fork to the pile of mashed potatoes he was decimating.

Fili laughed at that. “You’re just saying that.”

Kili shook his head. “Nope. This is my new favorite food.”

As Kili ate a third helping of potatoes, Fili watched in awe. Where was he even putting it? After he finished, Fili got the strawberry shortcake from the fridge, and Kili ate all of his and a few bites of Fili’s before leaning back with a groan. He eyed the remains on Fili’s plate with regret, but said he had no room for another bite. Fili stood to put the dishes in the sink. Kili tried to help, but Fili shooed him away and laughed as he went with an exaggerated waddle.

When he finished, Fili joined Kili in the living room. Kili was standing by the desk, and looked up to ask, “What’s this?”

Fili peeked over his shoulder to see what had caught his attention. “Oh, that’s the seal that hangs around sometimes. I was trying to sketch it but it didn’t turn out very well.”

“I think it’s lovely.” Kili picked a sheet of paper up to get a closer look.

“I’m out of practice. It turned out too blobby.”

Kili turned to look at him and Fili’s breath caught in his throat. Kili was close, and looked inviting, so Fili didn’t stop to second guess. He caught Kili’s chin in his hand and kissed him, just a soft press of lips before he stepped back.

Kili looked surprised. He held still, staring long enough that Fili wondered if he should apologize. Before Fili could think of what to say, Kili wrapped a hand around the back of Fili’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss. When Fili deepened it and pressed closer, Kili made a noise in the back of his throat.

Fili wrapped an arm around Kili’s waist. Kili tasted of the berries from dessert, and it made the kiss sweeter. He bit Kili’s bottom lip just hard enough to tug it between his teeth and Kili whined and rested his free hand on Fili’s hip. Fili wriggled a finger underneath Kili’s shirt and brushed it against the warm skin he found there.

And then his arms were empty. Fili blinked, a little stunned at the abruptness and speed with which Kili pulled away.

Kili had a stricken expression on his face as he said, “I can’t.”

“Okay,” Fili said as he pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. He was trying to figure out where things had gone wrong. “I didn’t mean to pressure you or something. I’m sorry if I -“

“No, it’s not you. I just, I can’t,” Kili stammered. He took a step back as he said, “I need to go.”

“You don’t have to leave. I’m sorry. We can just watch a movie if you want?” Fili reached a hand out.

Kili recoiled and shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He spun away and was gone out of the door.

“Wait, Kili, please,” Fili said. He went after him.

On the deck, Fili looked both ways. It had grown dark while they had dinner and he couldn’t see very far. He reached back inside and turned on the lights, but didn’t see anything but an empty beach. He jogged down the stairs to check under the house, but no one was there either. He called, “Kili?”

There was no answer but the sound of the waves rolling in.


	26. Chapter 26

Fili didn’t sleep all night. Instead, he wound up sitting on the deck in the dark, finishing off the rest of the beer in the fridge. He didn’t want to admit he’d been waiting to see if Kili came back. Now he was tipsy and the sun was starting to come up over the dunes. He was probably going to regret last night.

What was he saying? He already regretted it. He regretted kissing Kili, and scaring him off. He regretted moving to the beach in the first place. Right about now he regretted everything.

He heaved up out of the chair and went inside to the kitchen. He had some vodka somewhere. There was orange juice in the fridge. A screwdriver counted as breakfast, right? People did it all the time and called it brunch. Or was that a mimosa? He didn’t have mimosas, so a screwdriver would have to suffice.

He fixed his drink and sat on the couch. Was Kili going to ever come back? He didn’t even know where Kili lived, or stayed, or what he did while he wasn’t saving Fili’s life. There was no way to get in touch and apologize. Did Kili have a phone? If so, Fili didn’t have the number.

Fili took a sip of his drink and grimaced. It was too strong. He held his breath and downed it, and then laid back on the couch. He slung an arm over his eyes and started to doze. He should get up and drink a glass of water, maybe take an aspirin or something.

Whatever. It would just be one more thing to add to his list of regrets. He rolled over, buried his head under a pillow, and went to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Something was trying to kill him. Well, not literally, but it felt like it. A shrill noise was causing spikes of pain to radiate through his skull. Fili cracked open an eye, but the bright light made him close it immediately. He blindly groped for his phone and swiped a finger across the screen. He held the phone to his ear and grunted a greeting.

“Were you sleeping because your hot date kept you up all night?” Bard was developing a knack for calling at inopportune times.

“Hi, Bard.”

“So, tell me, how did it go?”

Fili sat up and rubbed a hand across his face. “I’m alone, hungover as hell, and I passed out on the couch.”

Bard’s tone changed from happy to deadly. “What did he do?”

“What makes you think he did anything?”

“Because you passed out alone on the couch. What happened?”

Fili stood and went to the kitchen, getting a bottle of water from the fridge as he spoke. “I screwed it up and he bolted.”

“You didn’t screw it up. What did he say?”

“I appreciate your faith in me,” Fili said with a smile before getting serious again, “but I did. I kissed him, he freaked out, and ran out on me.” He explained what happened.

Bard was quiet for a beat before saying, “Hasn’t he kissed you before?”

“Yeah, he has. A couple of times.”

“Did he maybe freak out about the same-sex thing?”

Fili sighed. “Maybe. Maybe he decided kissing a guy was a bad idea. Maybe I read too much into it, though. He isn’t from around here.”

“Where is he from?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t recognize his accent. I never got a chance to talk to him about it, either. What if he was kissing me in some sort of friendly greeting way? Then I rammed my tongue down his throat. No wonder he panicked.” Fili took a deep drink of his water.

“Stop that,” Bard snapped.

“Are you using the dad voice on me again?”

Bard’s tone gentled. “I know you better than that. I doubt you rammed your tongue anywhere it wasn’t wanted.”

“Kinky,” Fili muttered.

Bard ignored that. He went on, “If Kili freaked out, it wasn’t over something you did. Did he tell you to stop?”

“Not in so many words. He said he couldn’t kiss me, and then he left.” Fili sat down at the table with a huff.

“Have you thought that it might not be personal?”

“It sure felt personal.”

“The timing was bad, I’ll grant you that. His freak out might not have had anything to do with you, though.”

Fili thought about it for a moment, taking another drink of water. “No, I think you’re wrong there. Everything was fine until I kissed him.”

“All I’m saying is don’t be so hard on yourself until you talk to him and find out what’s going on.”

“I guess.” Fili didn’t agree, but knew Bard wouldn’t drop it. He didn’t want to discuss it any more. He felt queasy enough as it was. “I’ll call you back later, okay? I need to get something to eat.”

Bard wasn’t fooled. He asked, “Do you want me to come down? I can leave the kids with my mom for a few days.”

“No, it’s okay. Besides, I thought they wanted to come with you.”

“Let me know if you need me.”

“I will.”

After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Fili laid his head down on the table. Logically, he knew Bard was probably right. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He couldn’t help but replay the evening in his head, though, looking for something different he could have done to keep Kili from running out like that.

With a sigh, he stood up and headed for the shower. Regardless of what he told Bard, he wasn’t hungry. He was going to clean up and go to bed.

Trying to figure out what he did wrong didn’t matter, either. He screwed up and now Kili was gone. That was that.


	28. Chapter 28

Nothing felt right today. It was as if everything had been moved one inch to the left. It was enough to throw Fili’s day completely off track. So far he’d burned his toast, spilled his tea, and dropped jam on the carpet. Once he managed to make something edible for breakfast, he couldn’t settle down. He tried sketching for a bit, but everything turned out wrong. He balled up and threw away what he was working on, letting it join the other sketches in the waste basket.

He needed some fresh air. Staying cooped up all day was making him nuts, and why have a beach house if not for the beach? After changing into his swim trunks, he grabbed a towel and went outside.

It was another beautiful day. The sun was shining, but it wasn’t too hot yet. The water was a clear blue, changing when the waves pulled up clouds of sand. There were a few gulls standing around, and they eyed Fili when he first got to the water line. They lost interest when they saw there was no food to be had, though.

Fili stopped above the high tide mark, where the sand was still warm and dry. He spread out the towel and sat down on it. He leaned back on his arms and watched the little sandpipers running back and forth in the waves for a while. The sound of the waves breaking combined with the gentle breeze was relaxing. He turned over, laying down and pillowing his head on his arms.

The sun soaked in, making his tense muscles loosen until he felt boneless. Every now and again he would hear the unconcerned call of a gull over the surf. He’d rest out here for just a few minutes before he went in. He didn’t want to accidentally fall asleep and get a sunburn. Even so, he was half dozing when he heard a gull squawk and a slapping noise. Fili lifted his head and peeked to see what the commotion was.

The seal had decided to come back. This time, instead of sitting on the jetty, it was on the beach not very far from where Fili laid. It looked around, spotted Fili, and shuffled closer until it was a few yards away.

Did it think he was another seal? Fili wasn’t alarmed by its approach, since he wasn’t trapped on the jetty with it. If all else failed, he had options on which way to make his escape if needed. He wasn’t enthused about the idea of getting cuddled by a seal with poor eyesight, though, so he sat up. Once it realized he was a human, it would leave.

Only it didn’t. It stopped where it was and stared at him.

Fili looked out at the water, but he didn’t see anything that might be another seal. He asked it, “Aren’t you supposed to be travelling in a herd or something?”

Rather than being startled by his voice, the seal looked at the water too before huffing and looking back at Fili.

“Not a herd, then? What is a group of seals called, anyway? A flock? Flock of seals sounds like an eighties cover band.”

The seal kept watching him, but put its head down to rest on the sand.

Fili thought it was the same seal from the jetty, but couldn’t be positive. He felt bad for it. It was all alone in the world, too. At least, he hadn’t seen any other seals around. Was it here because it associated him with food? Fili lifted his hands and said, “Sorry, but I don’t have anything to eat.”

It tensed when Fili moved, but otherwise the seal didn’t react. It watched his hands as he let them fall to his sides.

“Are you hungry?” Fili shook his head. “Of course you’re hungry. You’re a wild animal. Animals are always hungry. Do you want a sandwich?”

The seal lifted its head to look at the water.

“I think I have more tuna in the house.”

Fili stood slowly, trying not to startle the seal. It leaned away from him, ready to bolt if needed, but watched as he walked away. He left the towel on the sand and went to the house.

He was in the middle of chopping an onion when he stopped what he was doing to mutter, “Have I lost my fucking mind? Am I seriously fixing a sandwich for a seal?”

It was already done, except for the assembly. He put the tuna on bread, and then laughed and decided to cut it into triangles. He debated cutting off the crusts, but reasoned that the seal wasn’t too fussy last time. He did remember to leave the tomato off, at least.

He was still grinning when he carried the sandwich outside. He had it wrapped in a napkin because he drew a line at serving wildlife on an actual plate. Maybe he should have added some chips or something on the side.

When he got on the beach, his towel was still there but the seal was gone. He sat down and waited a moment, but it didn’t reappear. With a shrug, he bit into one of the sandwich triangles. Good thing he liked tuna.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad day, after all.


	29. Chapter 29

Fili got online and ordered a waterproof camera, along with a tripod and a few accessories. He hoped the seal would visit again so he could take pictures of it. While he was at it, he ordered a few things for the house. He felt guilty when he ordered a basic tool set because he already had one in storage. All he had to do was go and get it, but he wasn’t ready to deal with all of that yet. He rationalized buying new tools by deciding he could give them to someone in need when he got his old belongings.

He looked up a few recipes to try, and made a shopping list. He tried finding more information on seals, but couldn’t find much beyond the basics. He went to a couple of the sites Ori wrote down for him, and got more details about types of seaweed than he cared about. One site listed the types of fish that could be caught locally, along with recipes and how to catch them. He toyed with the idea of getting a fishing pole until he remembered that if he caught a fish, he’d also have to kill it and clean it. That was a little more commitment than he was prepared to handle.

When he got bored with his computer, Fili grabbed a beer from the fridge, put on his shoes, and went outside. In contrast to sunbathing with the seal, today was all tones of muted greys. It was overcast, not quite raining yet but getting there. It made the water look darker, and the air was heavy and still. Even the waves seemed subdued.

Fili walked to the end of the jetty and stood there, looking out to sea as he drank his beer. A storm must be coming in. The seagulls and sandpipers were absent and he missed their friendly calls. He didn’t stay there long. It felt oppressive out at the end of the jetty, caught between the water and the clouds. He started walking back, and looked up to see Kili sitting on the steps of his house.

Kili was wearing the outfit Fili had bought him, and holding something in his lap. When Fili got closer, Kili stood and set it on the stair. He gave Fili a smile and said, “Hi. I came back.”

“I see that,” Fili said with a nod. He stopped a few feet away.

Kili looked disappointed for a second before saying, “I owe you an explanation.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” Fili couldn’t entirely keep the anger out of his voice.

With a wince, Kili said, “Fine, but I’d like to explain anyway, if you’ll let me.”

Fili sighed. “Look, I’m upset that you just ran out on me the other night, I admit. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable –“

“But you didn’t,” Kili said, and took a step closer to Fili. “You did nothing wrong.”

“I would have understood if you said we were moving too fast,” Fili tried again.

Kili smiled at him. “That’s not it. I liked the speed we were moving just fine. I would have been happy to kiss you more, or take you to bed if you’d let me.”

Fili could feel his face heating up and knew he was blushing. He ignored it to ask, “Then why did you leave?”

Kili lost his smile and said, “Because there are things you don’t know about me. It would have felt dishonest to have sex with you before you knew.”

“You have an STI?” Fili blurted out. He groaned and covered his face with his hands, feeling even the tips of his ears burning now. “Wow, I’m sure I could have found a way to be a little less rude about that. I’m sorry.” He dropped his hands and asked, “Can we start this conversation over?”

Kili smiled at him. “You can ask me anything you like, Fili. I promise not to take offense. It will be easier if you let me show you something first, though.”

“Show me what?”

Instead of replying, Kili stepped back and took off his button-down shirt. He dropped it to the ground and then pulled off the t-shirt. He toed off his shoes and scooted them aside, and unbuttoned his pants.

“Um, what are you showing me, exactly?” Fili asked as he quirked an eyebrow.

Kili looked up and grinned at him. “Not what you’re thinking. Not yet, anyway. Watch.”

Fili watched as Kili peeled out of his pants and kicked them aside to stand naked, except for the cowrie shell necklace. Kili had asked him to watch, so he watched as Kili went to the steps, picked up whatever had been in his lap, and came back to stand a few feet away. Fili noted that Kili’s skin was a lovely golden color, and not a tan line was to be seen.

Now Kili looked nervous, biting his bottom lip and clutching the thing in his hands so tightly his knuckles were white. A second look made Fili think it was a rug of some sort, but it was hard to tell with the way Kili’s hands were rolling it around compulsively.

Seeing Kili look scared made Fili feel bad. He said, “This can wait, if you like.”

“No, it can’t.” Kili took a deep breath and stared at the rug as he calmed down. He looked up again and said, “I like you, Fili, and I trust you. I need you to trust me now, too. I’m not going to hurt you.”

That little speech made Fili raise his eyebrows.

Before he could say anything, Kili took a step back. In one swift motion, he unrolled the rug, snapped it, and threw it around his shoulders.

That was when something went wrong with Fili’s eyes. There was some sort of cottony haze, too substantial to be a fog but not defined enough to be anything solid. Then the haze was gone, and so was Kili. Instead, the seal was sitting there looking at him.

“What?” Fili couldn’t make sense of it. Was this some sort of trick? All he could think of was that crazy street magician he saw sometimes on television, the one who did the living tattoo illusions. But then where was Kili hiding? He called, “Kili?”

The seal nodded. Fili frowned and looked closer. The seal was wearing the cowrie shell necklace.

“What? You – what?” He knew he was repeating himself, but his brain didn’t seem to be able to form a cohesive thought right now. “Kili?”

The seal nodded again, and inched forward.

Fili backpedaled, tripped on the sand, and fell on his ass so hard his teeth clacked together. When the seal started forward again, he pointed at it and snapped, “No! Sit! Stay!”

It looked taken aback, but did as he commanded. It even lowered its head to the ground, and stared soulfully at him.

Somehow, it was the obedience that was the final straw. Fili jumped up and shouted at the seal, “What the fuck is going on?”

The seal sighed and shimmied. That haze was back and when it cleared, there was Kili, kneeling and holding what Fili first thought was a rug, and now appeared to be a fur. He was still naked except for the necklace.

“What the fuck!” There was not enough air. Fili was panting and he still couldn’t catch his breath. Lack of oxygen had to explain why he saw a seal turn into Kili, or Kili turn into a seal, or why he couldn’t seem to form intelligent sentences. “What?”

Kili reached out and took a step towards him, but Fili jerked back and nearly fell again. He stopped and lowered his hand and repeated, “I’m not going to hurt you. Take a deep breath or you’re going to pass out.”

A deep breath sounded like a good idea. Fili inhaled and held his breath, counting to five before exhaling. He did this three times, but was still on the edge of hyperventilating when he asked, “What was that?”

“That was me.” Kili took a step closer, and smiled when Fili didn’t retreat.

“What do you mean that was you? The seal was you?” Fili's head hurt now, and his brain had obviously decided to depart for saner pastures. It was probably halfway to Mexico by now. Nothing was making sense here.

Kili nodded.

Fili started laughing. “Okay, sure. You’re a seal, but a human too. Like a werewolf. You’re a were-seal.”

Now Kili was staring to look concerned. “Not quite. I’m not human.”

“Of course not,” Fili said and started laughing harder. “You’re a seal.”

“I’m not a seal, either. I’m a selkie.” He frowned when Fili snorted. He reached for Fili’s shoulder as he said, “Maybe you should sit down.”

Fili recoiled and snapped, “Don’t touch me!”

Kili pulled his hand back with a hurt expression. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Startle?” Fili stared wide-eyed at Kili for a second before he started laughing again. “Oh, I’m not startled. I am so far beyond startled I don’t know what to call it.”

“Would you like me to get you something to drink?” Kili’s expression had changed into worry.

“A drink!” Fili snapped his fingers and pointed at Kili. “A drink is the best idea I’ve heard all day. Do seals drink beer?” He skirted past Kili and started jogging up the steps.

“I’m not a seal,” Kili muttered behind him.

Fili started laughing again. He was bordering hysteria as he went in the house and left the front door open. Instead of going to the kitchen, he went to the bathroom. After he shut and locked the door, he pressed his back against it and slid down. He wound up sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest.

Once he quit laughing, he let his head drop forward to rest on his knees. He wrapped his arms around his head and murmured, “I’ve lost my fucking mind.”

 


	30. Chapter 30

Fili once saw an old movie made during the Cold War era that told children to get on the ground, curl into a ball, and cover their heads in event of a bombing. He always figured it gave them something to do besides panic, because it wasn’t going to help if a bomb fell on them. As he huddled against the bathroom door in the same position, he discovered it was not any use against emotional bombs, either.

He sniffled and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. When had he started crying? Probably around the same time his mind had decided to take a vacation. A tap on the door made him flinch.

“Fili, are you okay?” Kili’s voice was hushed.

He gave the question careful consideration before he answered, “I don’t know.”

“Will you come out and talk to me?”

Another pause to think it over before Fili said, “Not yet.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I believe you,” Fili murmured as he nodded.  If Kili had wanted to hurt him, he’d had ample opportunity.  For that matter, all Kili had to do was let him drown when they first met. 

“Why don’t I make you a cup of tea?”

Fili heard Kili move away and go into the kitchen. There was the sound of cabinets opening and closing, and water running. He fought off another fit of the giggles because there was a were-seal making tea in his kitchen.

No, not a were-seal. What had Kili said? A selkie, that was it. What was a selkie? Besides part seal, part human. No, Kili had said he wasn’t human at all. That thought sobered Fili up quickly. He swiped at his nose again and sighed. The non-human selkie was in his kitchen making him a cup of tea, and expected him to come out of the bathroom at some point. He couldn’t camp in here forever.

He pushed up from the floor and leaned on the sink. After turning on the cold water and letting it run for a moment, he splashed his face and looked in the mirror. His face was red and blotchy and his eyes were swollen from crying with dark circles under them. He felt almost as exhausted as he looked.

Another tap on the door and Kili called, “The tea is ready.”

“Okay.” Fili grabbed a towel and patted his face dry, but made no move toward the door. He cast a longing look at the shower. It would be nice to crawl under the hot water and pretend this day hadn’t happened.

Maybe it hadn’t happened at all. Maybe this was some sort of fevered dream his brain was shooting off in an oxygen deprived frenzy as he drowned. That was more plausible than a handsome, flirty, not-human selkie trying to coax him out of the bathroom with cups of tea.

“Fili?”

Fili sighed and hung his head.

“I’m going to set the tea on the floor, okay? You can open the door and get it.” Kili was using a tone that was usually reserved for small animals or children.

Fili rolled his eyes, but straightened up. He reached for the doorknob, but hesitated. He wasn’t scared, exactly. Nervous was a better word for it. He was half expecting to open the door and find a seal sitting on his couch. The mental image made him grin and shake his head. He looked over his shoulder and told his reflection, “Faint heart never won fair lady. Oo-da-lally.”

He steeled himself, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

 


	31. Chapter 31

Kili was true to his word. There was a cup of tea sitting on the floor just outside of the bathroom. Kili was sitting on the floor some distance away, holding his own cup. He was wearing his pants and had on the shirt, although he had not bothered to button it. When he heard the door open, he looked up at Fili with a hopeful expression.

Fili stood uncertainly in the doorway. He didn’t know what to do. The absurd mental image of throwing a fish at Kili like some trainer at Sea World flashed through his mind, and he wiped a hand over his mouth so he didn’t start laughing again. Maybe he wasn’t quite as composed as he thought. If all else failed, he could always hide in the bathroom again. For that matter, he was comfortable right here, so he sat on the floor at the threshold. He picked up his tea and took a sip. Kili had fixed it exactly as he liked, with a bit of honey. He sighed and set the tea on the floor in front of him before looking at Kili and saying, “So.”

Kili beamed a smile before sobering to say, “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve said that,” Fili pointed out.

“I know, but I am. I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought it would be easier to show you what I am and let you ask questions, if you wanted. I bungled it though.” Kili stared into his tea.

Fili shook his head. “I don’t think that would have helped. I’m not sure I would have believed it if you told me you turn into a seal.”

Kili shrugged, still looking at his cup as if he expected it to do something entertaining. “Maybe, maybe not. If I’d said something first, you would have been a little prepared, at least.”

After another sip of tea, Fili asked, “You said you aren’t human. What are you, exactly?”

“A selkie.” Kili glanced at Fili and read the confusion there. He explained, “It’s a type of fae.”

“A type of fae?”

Kili nodded. “You’re probably used to hearing us called faeries.”

“Like fairy tales? Brothers Grimm, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel, all of those?” Fili couldn’t keep the disbelief out of his voice.

“You know of other fae?” Kili’s brows popped up.

“No, they’re stories. The Brothers Grimm wrote a bunch of stories called fairy tales, and they are popular for children. You’ve never read a fairy tale?”

Kili shook his head. “I can’t read much.”

“You can’t read?” Fili felt like he was repeating everything Kili was saying, but this entire thing was a little difficult to accept.

With a shrug, Kili said, “I’ve picked some up here and there. I recognize things like signs and what they mean. There aren’t a lot of books accessible to selkies.” He gave Fili a wry smile and scooted a bit closer.

“I would think not,” Fili murmured. He could imagine how difficult it would be for a seal to turn pages. He shook his head and refocused. “How does it work?”

“How does what work?”

“The back and forth between seal and human. How do you do it?”

Kili bit his lip and looked at the kitchen table. Fili followed his gaze and saw the fur rolled up there. He looked back at Kili, who was chewing on his top lip nervously now.

Feeling bad at seeing Kili so worried, Fili said, “You don’t have to tell me. I can understand if you want to keep it a secret or something.” Especially since I haven’t exactly been accepting all of this easily so far, he added silently.

Kili shook his head. “No, it isn’t a secret. It’s a type of fae magic tied to my pelt.”

“So you wave your magic rug and turn into a seal?”

“It isn’t a rug,” Kili said, sounding offended. He frowned at Fili and said, “It’s my pelt.”

“Sorry.” Apparently calling it a rug was a fairy faux pas. “So your pelt turns you into a seal?”

“Essentially, yes. There’s a bit more to it, but it’s hard to explain.”

Fili frowned at the pelt. “Does it work on anybody?”

Kili smiled and scooted forward some more. Now he was only a few feet away from Fili as he said, “No. My pelt only works for me.”

Fili didn’t bother trying to hide his sigh of relief. “Good. I’d hate to trip and fall on it and bam, suddenly I’m a seal.” He smiled at Kili’s peal of laughter before asking, “Do you want to stick it in a closet or something?”

“No,” Kili snapped. He’d gone from laughing to scowling in a heartbeat.

“Okay,” Fili said slowly, trying to figure out what he’d said wrong. “You can leave it out if you like.”

Kili’s scowl softened as he said, “I just like knowing where it is. Losing their pelt is pretty much every selkie’s worst fear. It’s a part of me, and I wouldn’t be able to change without it.”

Fili nodded as if he understood what was going on. After another sip of tea he asked, “Do you do anything else?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Turn into a bat and fly around during full moons, grant wishes, spin straw into gold. Other magic tricks I guess.”

Kili laughed. “Turning straw into gold?”

Fili looked over the brim of his teacup and pointed out, “I saw you turn into a seal.”

“Point taken.” Kili quit laughing but still smiled as he said, “I’m afraid that’s about the extent of my talents. Not impressive enough for you?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. It was plenty impressive. I’m just saying it might be cool to be able to grant wishes too, or something.” They shared a smile before Fili took the last swallow of his tea and said, “This is a lot to take in.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I like you, Fili. I want to spend more time with you, but I wanted to be honest about what I was before things went any further between us.” The hopeful expression was back on Kili’s face.

Fili looked at his empty cup. He’d been ready to have sex with Kili before finding out he was a selkie. He didn’t know if that had changed or not. He looked up and told Kili, “This is a lot to think about.”

Kili’s expression changed to disappointed and he sighed, but he said, “I understand. I’ll leave you to it, then.” He pushed up to his feet.

Fili stood too, and took a step closer as he asked, “Would you like to come for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Really?” After Fili nodded, Kili’s expression changed to pleasant surprise. “I’d love to!”

His eagerness made Fili smile as he said, “I’ll make mashed potatoes again if you like.”

Kili’s smile softened. “I’m sure I’ll enjoy anything you decide to make.”

Fili felt his cheeks start to warm, and he shrugged.

After a long moment staring at each other, Kili took a step back. Fili was equal parts relieved and disappointed. He had enjoyed the physical closeness with Kili previously, but a lot had happened since then. He wasn’t sure how he would have reacted right now if Kili had tried to kiss him, so it was better this way.

“Until tomorrow evening, then.” Kili gave a little smile and a nod before turning away. He paused to grab the pelt and set his teacup on the table, and gave Fili another smile before leaving.

Fili rubbed a hand over his face. He took his own empty teacup into the kitchen and headed for the kettle. He was emotionally drained, but didn’t feel like sleeping just yet. After fixing another cup, he took it with him to his computer. He muttered, “Let’s see what the internet has to say about selkies.”


	32. Chapter 32

It turned out that the internet didn’t have a lot to say about selkies. Or rather, it didn’t have a lot to say about male selkies. There were dozens of stories about female selkies getting their pelts stolen and being forced to stay in human form. They were usually made to marry a fisherman, sometimes for years, long enough to have children. One of the children inevitably found the pelt and returned it to the selkie, who then fled back to the ocean. Sometimes she took her children with her, but more often she left them behind. The stories all seemed to be tragedies.

No wonder Kili had reacted negatively when Fili suggested putting the pelt in a closet. He was probably worried about not getting it back.

There was little information about male selkies. There were a couple of stories that said they would come ashore for a night or two, sleep with the local girls, and then leave. Some of the stories said the selkies would return if a child was born, while others said they returned a few years later. Either way, they would pay the mother a fee and take the baby with them when they left. The stories all agreed that the selkies were handsome, with dark hair and eyes.

The handsome part was right, even if a child wasn’t something that Fili would have to worry about. He blushed when he remembered the way he blurted out the question about STIs. Could selkies even catch an STI if they were not human?

Or would that be an issue? He was attracted to Kili before he learned about the whole ‘not a human’ thing. That hadn’t changed. Kili had expressed a willingness to sleep with Fili, too, and indicated that was still the case. The idea of Kili being a different species was a little weird. He looked human enough, but was if there was some sort of surprise hidden somewhere? Then again, Fili had gotten an eyeful when he watched Kili undress and nothing stood out. How did the women in the stories know if they were sleeping with a selkie? Fili suspected it was easier to say they got knocked up by a mysterious selkie, rather than admit to sleeping with the neighbor’s farmhand.

Fili leaned back in his chair and sighed. This whole thing was crazy. There wasn’t a way to make an informed decision about anything if he didn’t have any information. How could you get information on something that supposedly didn’t exist?

Kili hadn’t lied to him so far, though. Sure, there had been lies of omission, but Fili couldn’t really blame him. Not to mention that if Kili had introduced himself as a selkie right off the bat, Fili would have thought he was insane.

Fili took a sip of his tea, grimacing because it was cold, and clicked the mouse a few more times. There was a lot of information about fairies in general, but he wasn’t sure if it was reliable. Some of it seemed like religious propaganda. A lot of it sounded like ways to ward off vampires. Jumping over a running creek didn’t sound like much of deterrent to a selkie. Besides, he didn’t want to get rid of Kili.

His eyes were starting to burn from starting at the computer screen for so long. He rubbed at them with the heels of his hands as he yawned. He had all the information he needed, if he stopped to think about it.

Kili had been nothing but kind. First he saved Fili’s life, and made sure he was well afterward. Then he went along with Fili’s suggestions, even when they obviously made him uncomfortable, like riding in the car or being around crowds. He was always nothing but kind and considerate, even in situations that had to be unfamiliar, like when they went shopping and out to eat.

Fili stood and took his cup to the sink. After rinsing it out, he looked out of the window into the night. He had told Kili this was a lot of information to take in, and that wasn’t wrong. Kili hadn’t changed, though. The only thing that had changed was that Fili now knew that selkies existed, and Kili happened to be one. It was Fili’s perception that had changed.

He laughed at himself for thinking Kili was homeless for so long. Well, what else was he supposed to think? Kili hadn’t been forthcoming with any details, and it wasn’t like fairies were common. Or maybe they were. For all he knew, the guy that bagged his groceries at the store was one, too. Maybe they were everywhere, living in plain sight.

It must have been difficult for Kili to admit this. He sobered up when he remembered his reaction. It had been an enormous show of faith from Kili, and Fili had freaked out and locked himself in the bathroom. And even then, Kili was nothing but apologetic for shocking him. The concern Kili had shown for Fili while he must have been feeling vulnerable and exposed spoke volumes for Kili’s character.

Fili wanted to show Kili that his trust was not misplaced. He knew it would take time, but there might be one or two things he could do in the meantime.

He got back on his computer and placed an order before yawning wide enough to pop his jaw. It was late and it had been a long, eventful day. He’d have to go to the store before he could make dinner for Kili, too.

As he got ready for bed, he wondered if selkies were allergic to anything. His last thought before falling asleep was that maybe one day he’d have the chance to take Kili to a sushi bar.


	33. Chapter 33

Fili dithered over what to make for dinner most of the day. When he went to the store, he wound up buying too much food. Kili was a big eater, though, so it wouldn’t go to waste. He wanted to make spaghetti, but it was too late to cook the sauce properly and he didn’t want to use anything out of a jar. He decided to make a quiche instead.

Once he had it in the oven, he hurried to get dressed. After a quick shower, he couldn’t decide what to wear. He changed outfits three times before settling on a pair of worn jeans and a Henley shirt. He threw his hair up into a sloppy bun to keep it out of the way and went back to the kitchen. He grabbed a beer and took a hefty swig before starting to make a salad. Remembering Kili’s dislike of tomatoes, he made it from spinach, mixed greens, and strawberries instead.

While he was cleaning the berries, he tried to figure out why he was so nervous. Nothing had changed, really. Well, except the rather large discovery that Kili wasn’t human.

That was it, of course, but that wasn’t it entirely. Fili was scared of screwing up. Kili being a selkie means that he had a completely different type of life experiences to draw on. He didn’t even know what fairy tales are, because he can’t read. It wasn’t like he went to school, or the movies, or anything that Fili took for granted. Did Kili even have a family? Friends? Other selkies?

For that matter, why was Kili hanging around? In every story about male selkies Fili could find, they would woo their conquest and then leave. Would Kili leave if they slept together? Was that all Kili wanted?

Fili sighed and took another swallow of his beer. If sex was all that Kili wanted, he could have gotten that before his big reveal. Why did Kili tell him? He couldn’t imagine it was common knowledge.

A knock on the door interrupted his reverie. He opened it to find Kili beaming a smile and holding out a nautilus shell.

“I’m back, and I brought you this.” Kili thrust the shell forward.

Fili couldn’t help but return the smile. He took the offered shell and said, “Thank you. Have you ever heard of the golden ratio?” When Kili shook his head, Fili went on. “There’s a lot of complicated explanations, but the simplest way is perfect proportions. Come look.”

Kili followed Fili to his desk, and watched as Fili took a sheet of paper and drew a line bisecting it. He turned the paper and drew another line, starting at the middle of the first. He repeated this a few more times until he had several boxes on the paper, then he drew a spiraling line through all of them.

“It’s used in math, and art, and it happens in nature too,” Fili explained. He laid the shell on top of the paper and traced the swirl of cream and brown with his finger. “This type of shell is considered a good example of the golden ratio because if you cut it in half, it follows the proportional divide.”

Kili frowned, looking from the shell to the paper. He murmured, “I’ve seen plants that do that.”

“Exactly,” Fili agreed with some surprise. He’d seen some college students unable to understand what Kili seemed to be grasping in seconds.

Picking up the paper and turning it, looking at it from a different angle, Kili added, “Hurricanes blow in this pattern too.”

“They do?” Fili looked too, trying to see what Kili was talking about.

Kili nodded and followed the pattern with his finger, saying, “They blow in swirls like that, and see, there is the eye.”

Fili laughed and said, “I never thought about it, but you’re right.”

Kili smiled and shrugged, and just like that, Fili was at ease again. Yeah, he might screw things up. In fact, he was certainly going to make a mistake at some point, since he was only human. And human or not, Kili would make a mistake or two along the way too. That thought made him grin wider, and Kili gave him a curious look.

“Do you like quiche?” Fili asked, instead of explaining.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had it.”

“Well, we can figure it out.”

 


	34. Chapter 34

Kili enjoyed dinner enough that there were no leftovers. He wasn’t a fan of the beer Fili offered, but delighted in making tea. Fili made a mental note to pick up some different kinds for him to try, maybe some coffee too. He seemed restless tonight, though. After dinner, Fili leaned on the counter and watched Kili prowl through the living room. He paused to inspect the drawings on the desk before crossing the room to peer out the window.

“Do you want to go for a walk on the beach?” Fili asked. Watching Kili was making him feel fidgety too.

Kili gave him a relieved smile and a nod. “Yes, please.”

While they were eating, the sun had set with a spectacular display of color. The moon was rising now, full and heavy, so Fili didn’t bother with a flashlight. It would be bright enough to see without one.

Kili led the way down the stairs and out to the beach. They walked side by side in silence until they got closer to the water’s edge. Kili grabbed Fili’s wrist and pulled him to a stop. Fili looked askance and Kili gave him a crooked grin.

“Can you feel it?” Kili asked before looking out over the water.

Fili looked at the water too before looking back at Kili. “Feel what?”

Still looking out to sea, Kili sounded like he was dreaming when he replied. “This is a between place. It’s in between the land and the ocean. Between places have magic.”

All Fili could do is stare. The breeze was teasing Kili’s hair, the moonlight washing him of color, leaving shades of black and white. With the feral expression on his face and the fey tone to his voice, this was someone Fili could believe was not human. He was inhuman in his beauty and belonged here, in the between magic. Then Kili blinked and smiled at him again, and the spell was broken.

“Let’s swim,” Kili said. He let go of Fili’s wrist and started undressing.

“Swim? Now?” With a little alarm, Fili realized he hadn’t been back in the water since he nearly drowned. “But it’s dark.”

Kili dropped his shirt on the ground. “There’s nothing out there now that isn’t out there in the day.”

“That’s not really reassuring,” Fili said.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise. Do you trust me?” Kili gave him a winsome look.

Fili sighed. “Quit giving me the puppy dog eyes. I’ll go swimming with you, but if a shark eats me I’m holding you responsible. Let me get my shorts.”

“You don’t need them.” Kili stripped out of the rest of his clothes, gave Fili a brilliant grin, and ran naked into the water.

“This is a horrible idea,” Fili muttered as he watched Kili dive under a wave. Even so, when Kili beckoned him, he undressed and entered the water at a much more sedate pace. When he got close enough, he took the hand Kili was holding out to him.

“Listen,” Kili said.

Fili raised an eyebrow and asked, “Listen to what?”

“Just listen.” Kili closed his eyes.

Fili watched him for a moment before closing his eyes.

At first he felt foolish, naked and standing in the ocean at night with his eyes closed. He hoped some fish didn’t come along and decide to see if his dick was edible. The longer he stood there, swaying with the gentle swells, listening to the sound of the surf, the more he started to relax. It started to feel as if he were floating, with only Kili’s hand in his to anchor him to the earth. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

Kili was smiling at him. “Do you feel it?”

He felt something, but he didn’t know if he could call it magic. He shrugged.

“You feel it.” Kili’s tone brooked no argument. He nodded and let go of Fili’s hand to dive under the water.

It was too dark to see through the water, so it startled Fili when Kili popped up behind him and splashed him. He recovered quickly though, and returned the splash. It deteriorated into a water fight, with both of them diving under, trying to surprise the other and get a better position. Occasionally Kili would guide them away if they got too close to the jetty, or closer to the shore so they didn’t get too deep. True to his word, he kept Fili safe. Finally they grew tired and went back to the shore.

Fili was out of breath and worn out, but he was happy. He grinned up at Kili and told him, “That was fun.”

“Yes, it was. I’m glad you trusted me.” Kili returned the smile before wrapping his hand around the back of Fili’s neck and leaning in for a kiss. It was brief but sweet. When he pulled back, he asked, “I’d better go now, though. Can I come visit you again?”

“Of course. You can visit anytime.”

“Then I’ll come back soon.” Kili stooped and grabbed his clothes, gave Fili one last smile, turned, and started walking down the beach, still naked.

Fili watched him go for a minute, and then bent to retrieve his own clothes. When he looked up again, Kili was gone. Fili shook his head and went back to his house. He made a beeline for the shower, already anticipating when he might see Kili again.

 


	35. Chapter 35

The ringing of his phone interrupted Fili’s sketching. It was time for a break anyway, so after checking the screen he answered, “Porno Palace, what’s your pleasure, handsome?”

Bard’s rich laughter filled his ear. “Someone’s in a good mood.”

“I’m in a good mood because you aren’t waking me up for a change. What’s up?” Fili rose, taking the phone with him to the kitchen. He pulled a soda from the fridge and took a swallow.

“I wouldn’t be waking you up if you kept normal hours like the rest of us. I haven’t heard from you for a bit.”

“I’ve been busy. Being a beach bum is hard work.” Fili stuck his head back in the fridge, looking for a snack.

“Speaking of bums, how’s your homeless friend?”

He rolled his eyes and closed the fridge door. “He’s not homeless.”

“Where does he live, then?”

Fili resisted the urge to say wherever selkies hung out. Instead he said, “Up the beach a ways.”

“Last time we spoke, he’d bailed on you.”

“Yeah, we worked it out.”

“Well? Did he say why he left?”

Fili wanted to tell Bard everything. He and Bard had been best friends for years, and it felt wrong to keep something this big a secret. It wasn’t his secret to tell, though, so he said, “Kili wanted us to get to know each other better before we took things further.”

“Really? Huh.”

“Huh what?” Fili frowned.

“What?”

“What do you mean by huh?”

“Why does it have to mean anything?” Bard was trying hard to sound innocent.

“Because I know you.” Fili propped a hand on his hip.

“Maybe I had the wrong idea of him, from what you told me. I’m happy I wasn’t right. That’s all.”

Fili sighed and let his arm drop. “I’m not an idiot, you know. Kili’s not a bad guy.”

“I didn’t say that,” Bard chided. “I know you aren’t stupid, but you’re a good person. Some people try to take advantage of good people.”

“I know. That’s one reason I moved here in the first place.”

“I’m just worried about you, out there all alone. I want you to be happy, Fili.” Now Bard sounded sad.

This conversation was getting too maudlin for Fili, so he lightened his tone and said, “You and the kids can always come and visit, you know, and then I wouldn’t be alone. How are they doing?”

Bard had to know Fili was trying to change the subject, but he let it go and said, “They’re fine. Tilda wants to join junior cheerleaders. I am so far out of my depth with that it isn’t funny.”

“Don’t they have cheerleading moms? Like those pageant moms on television? Maybe someone could help out.”

“Oh hell no. The women on those shows are terrifying. Besides, when I go to stuff like that with the girls, the women treat me one of two ways. They either think I am there to molest their little girls, or they treat me like a piece of meat. Someone grabbed my ass after the last PTA meeting,” Bard groused.

Fili laughed, but said, “Sorry. I’m just imagining you being groped by a soccer mom.”

“Go ahead, laugh at my misery,” Bard said. His smile could be heard in his voice, though.

“It could be an opportunity. When was the last time you got laid?”

“Oh, are we gonna go there? When was the last time you got laid, Romeo?”

With a grimace Fili said, “Point taken.”

Bard’s voice softened again as he said, “Just be careful with this new guy. You don’t know anything about him.”

Fili rolled his eyes. “I will.”

“Good.”

They chatted a while longer before hanging up. Fili frowned at the phone, lost in thought. Bard had a point. Fili didn’t know anything about Kili.

Sure, he know about the selkie thing, which was a pretty big thing, to be fair. But that was it. Did Kili have a family? Siblings? Where did he go when he wasn’t here? For all Fili knew, he was married with a wife and kids somewhere.

Fili sighed and set the phone on the counter. He was getting too emotionally invested in someone he didn’t really know. No wonder Kili kept stepping back from their budding relationship. He probably thought Fili was being too clingy, and that was before they slept together.

Well, he could do something about all of that. The next time he saw Kili, he would talk to him and ask questions. He’d also quit acting so needy.

He went back to his desk, but now his mood was broken. He didn’t feel like drawing anymore. With a huff, he moved to the couch. He’d find something to watch, and quit obsessing over Kili. That would be a good place to start.

 


	36. Chapter 36

Three days passed and there was no sign of Kili.

On the fourth day, the shed Fili had ordered was delivered. He instructed the deliverymen to set it up some distance from the house. After he reassured them that yes, he really did want it that far from the house, they got to work. When they were done, Fili tipped them well before going to inspect it.

It was a storage shed, the kind that looked like a small barn. It was a little bigger than a walk-in closet, had no windows, and could be locked either from the inside or the outside. It was tan with green trim, and blended in with the surroundings. He thought that would be better than the other option, which was bright red.

Fili had ordered it with the intention of letting Kili use it. He thought he could give Kili the keys, and Kili could store his clothes and little treasures in it while he was being a seal. Then if Kili was comfortable with the idea, he could store his pelt in it while being human. It had to be better than hiding it under a rock or wherever he left it.

Looking at the shed now, Fili wasn’t so sure. He didn’t know how Kili would take it. He had to admit, it seemed a little clingy. No, if he was being honest, buying a storage shed for someone he didn’t even know if he would see again seemed obsessive. Kili had said he’d be back soon, but that had been days ago. What if he changed his mind?

Fili jangled the keys in his hand. Nothing said he had to give them to Kili right away, or at all. He could keep them and use the shed himself. He locked the shed then stuck the keys in his pocket before heading back to the house.

Whatever. He’d told himself he was going to quit acting so needy, and what did he do? Mope around waiting for Kili to come back. He could admit to himself that was exactly what he had been doing the past three days.

Enough was enough. There were other things he could do besides wait around for a roving selkie. He changed clothes, grabbed his car keys, and headed into town.


	37. Chapter 37

Fili had fallen asleep with the window open, so woke slowly to the sounds of gulls and the surf. It was nice to lay there, still dozing, listening to the birds chattering to each other while a gentle breeze rustled the curtains. Maybe there was some magic in this state, halfway between waking and sleeping. It was nice to think so, anyway.

Eventually he decided to get up. After he threw on some sweats and a tank top and pulled his hair up into a sloppy bun, he padded into the kitchen on bare feet and started the coffeepot. The rich smell of the brewing coffee mixed with the tang of the salt in the air as he pulled a blueberry muffin mix out of the pantry. After he got the muffins in the oven, he poured a cup of coffee and doctored it with cream and sugar. He took a sip and leaned on the counter. A knock got his attention. Leaving his coffee on the counter, he went to the door and opened it.

“I’m back!” Kili stood there with a wide smile.

Fili brushed a stray lock of hair behind his ear, conscious of the fact that he hadn’t even brushed his teeth yet this morning. He must look awful, but he still smiled and said, “Welcome back. Just in time for breakfast, too. Want a cup of coffee?”

“Coffee?” Kili sounded confused but followed Fili back to the kitchen.

“Ever had coffee before?” When Kili shook his head, Fili handed him his cup. “Taste that.”

Kili took a cautious sip, but then made a face.

Fili smiled at that. “Maybe it’s an acquired taste. I know I used to like mine with a lot more sugar. Would you like a cup of tea instead?”

“I can make it,” Kili said with a nod. He reached up in the cabinet to get a cup.

The timer on the oven dinged, and Fili grabbed a potholder to pull the muffins out. Kili crossed the kitchen to the sink for water before grabbing the tea. Fili ducked around him to get a couple of plates and the butter from the fridge. As he opened the drawer to get a butter knife, Kili laid a hand on his waist and reached around him for a spoon. It startled him, and he threw a glance over his shoulder. Kili saw it and gave him a smile before turning away to get the sugar.

The ease with which he and Kili moved around each other in such a domestic scene was jarring to Fili. It was almost like they had done this before, moved around each other like a dance. It was too intimate to have this sense of belonging with someone he did not know well, and he wasn’t sure what to do.

Kili took a sip of his tea, and made a face. He reached for the sugar again and caught Fili watching him. He cocked his head and asked, “Is something wrong?”

Fili shook his head. How could he explain he was uncertain about how well they seemed to get along? Instead he asked, “Do you like blueberry muffins?”

It turns out Kili did like blueberry muffins. He liked them enough to eat five, showing no signs of slowing down as he reached for a sixth.

“Have you had blueberry muffins before?” Fili had dozens of questions, and that seemed like a safe place to start. He was struggling with wanting to know more about Kili but trying not to look too needy.

Kili nodded as he slathered butter onto the muffin. “Yes, sometimes people bring them to the beach. I’ve never had them fresh like this though. They’re much better when they’re warm.”

Fili agreed and watched Kili take a big bite. “So, you’ve eaten stuff mainly at the beach?”

“I don’t really like going into towns. It’s easier to fit in at the beach,” Kili said after he swallowed. That explained why Kili was more familiar with things like burgers or sandwiches. People brought food like that when they went to the beach.

Kili was eyeing the remaining muffins like he still might be hungry.

Fili scooted the plate closer to him. “Go ahead and have another if you want it.”

“Maybe in a few minutes. I just didn’t want them to get cold.” Kili drank the last of his tea and rose to make another cup.

“You can reheat them later in the microwave if you want.” At Kili’s curious look, Fili waved at the microwave on the counter. “It only takes a few seconds.”

“I’m not familiar with a lot of newer electronic devices. I don’t know how to cook. I’m just happy you showed me how to use this to make tea,” Kili said with a self-depreciating laugh. He patted the tea maker like it was a favored pet.

That made Fili smile. “Lots of people can’t cook, but they can use a microwave. I’ll show you later.”

Kili looked interested, but he said, “I’m used to eating things cold. People throw a lot of stuff away, so it’s usually not hot anymore by the time I find it.”

“You eat thrown away food?” Fili was appalled.

Kili quirked an eyebrow at him. “Selkies eat a lot more than humans do. If I didn’t eat it, it would just go to waste. You’d be surprised how much perfectly good food gets thrown out simply because someone didn’t want it.”

Having worked in a few restaurants as a teenager, Fili knew how much stuff got thrown out because it was a few hours old. He knew that there were times he had thrown things away because he was too lazy to deal with the leftovers. Talking to Kili made him feel guilty about it, and he made a silent promise to try and do better.

“How much more do selkies need to eat?” Fili would take the opening, if Kili was willing to talk about it.

“We usually need about three or four times as much as you do.”

“Wow. That’s a lot of food,” Fili murmured.

Kili laughed as he stirred sugar into his tea. “Maintaining a steady body temperature in the water burns a lot of energy. So does changing back and forth, of course.”

“Of course. Are there –“ A knock on the door interrupted Fili.

Kili froze, staring at Fili with wide eyes.

Fili stood up and told Kili, “That’s Dori, the housekeeper.”

“Maybe I should go,” Kili said.

“I’d like it if you stayed. I was going to cook lunch for us.”

Kili still looked spooked, but he bit his lip and nodded.

Fili gave him a smile and nod of encouragement before opening the door. Dori entered, followed by Ori, who was carrying a covered plate.

“Good morning,” Dori said. He stopped when he saw Kili, though. “Oh, hello.”

“Morning. Kili, this is Dori and that’s Ori,” Fili made the introductions.

“Nori’s already down cleaning the beach,” Dori added. “We brought lemon bars, too.”

Fili murmured his thanks as he took the plate. He sat it on the table, and smiled when Kili edged a little closer to him.

Ori said, “I brought the book we were talking about, if you still want to look at it.”

An imp perched on Fili’s shoulder. That was the only explanation he had for telling Ori, “You know, Kili’s interested in marine biology and conservation, too.”

Kili gave Fili a look and narrowed his eyes. Fili ignored it.

Ori’s face lit up with a smile. “Really? I was going to look on the beach and see if anything’s washed up. Do you want to come?”

Before Kili could reply, Fili said, “He’d love to, I’m sure.”

Ori looked hopefully at Kili, who sighed and said, “Sure, that sounds fun.”

“Great! Let me get my stuff.” Ori hurried out the door.

Kili glared at Fili, but stopped when Dori joined them.

“Thank you for humoring him. He doesn’t know anyone else who’s interested in biology. Sometimes I think it bothers him,” Dori confided.

“It’s no trouble at all,” Kili said. When Dori moved away, he leaned in to Fili and said, “You owe me for that one.”

Fili gave him an innocent look. “What do you mean? You’re interested in marine biology, aren’t you?”

“Ha ha. Cute. You’ll owe me for babysitting the teenager.” Despite his words, he was smiling at Fili.

“If you help Ori find something interesting, I’ll make brownies. We can have them with ice cream.”

“It’s a deal.” Kili gave him a quick peck before going to join Ori.

After the door closed, Dori said, “He’s a looker, isn’t he? He seems nice, too.”

Fili nodded. “I’ll go start getting the grill ready.”

He went outside and took the covering off of the grill. He could see Ori, Nori, and Kili standing together, stooped to peer at something on the ground. Nori gestured and Fili could hear their laughter over the waves.

The grill reminded him of his parents again. The memories brought a bittersweet melancholy this time, instead of blinding pain. He wished they were here. They would have loved his house and meeting Kili. He knew that if they were somewhere watching, they would be happy for him.

Maybe he was building some sort of life after all.

 


	38. Chapter 38

A few hours later, the house was clean, chicken was marinating, potatoes were baking in the oven, and Fili was setting the charcoal in the grill. Dori and Nori were lounging on the deck chairs drinking beer while Ori was at the bottom of the steps going through the bucket full of things he and Kili had collected. Kili was standing right behind Fili, hovering anxiously. Fili squirted lighter fluid all over the charcoal and readied the lighter.

“Give it a second,” Nori called. “With that much fluid, you’re liable to singe off your eyebrows if you aren’t careful.”

Kili edged closer to Fili and reached out. He didn’t exactly take Fili’s hand, but he linked their pinky fingers together. He asked, “Are you sure this is safe so close to the house?”

“It’s fine. Nori’s just being dramatic,” Fili tried to sound reassuring. He shot a dirty look at Nori’s short bark of laughter.

Nori raised his bottle in a salute with a wide grin. “That’s me. Dramatic to the bone. I should be on stage.”

Fili rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile. He patted Kili’s shoulder. “Maybe you should back up a little, all the same.”

Kili still looked worried, but he let go of Fili’s finger and backed up a short distance.

“Kili, would you like some more tea?” Dori asked.

When Kili turned to answer, Fili took advantage of the distraction and lit the charcoal. Enough of the fluid had evaporated so it lit without a huge fireball. He’d learned about that the hard way the first time he used the grill. This time was much more sedate.

Once the coals were evenly burning, he gave Kili a smile. “See? Perfectly safe.”

“Right.” Kili gave the flames a dubious look.

“Dori, look!” Ori came bounding up the stairs, carrying the bucket. “Look what Kili found! Isn’t it cool?”

Dori peered in the bucket and asked, “What is that?”

“It’s a bird’s nest. We even found part of an eggshell, see?” Ori picked it up and showed it to Dori.

Dori made appreciative noises and Kili shot Fili a smug look.

“Could you say it’s interesting, Ori?” Kili asked, still watching Fili.

“Interesting? It’s awesome! I’ve never found a bird’s nest out here before. I can’t wait to go home and see if we can find out what kind of bird it belonged to.”

“You took a bird’s nest?” Nori asked with a frown.

“It’s an old one. It’s been abandoned for a while,” Kili replied.

“Jeez, Nori. I wouldn’t steal one a bird was using.” Ori huffed as he set it carefully aside. He pulled out a shell for inspection.

Fili went in to get the chicken, and Kili followed him.

“He said it was interesting,” Kili pointed out.

“Did he? I didn’t notice,” Fili said as he reached into the fridge. Kili caught him around the waist and pulled him back, though. With a twirl and a laugh, Fili was spun until he was facing Kili, trapped in the cage of his arms.

Kili got a very serious look and murmured, “You know, it’s considered a bad idea to break a promise to a fae.”

Feigning innocence, Fili said, “I don’t remember making a promise.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Kili reminded him. “There was talk of brownies. With ice cream, even.”

“I’m out of ice cream until I can go to the store. Will grilled chicken do for now?”

“Chicken is a poor substitute for ice cream.” Kili made a face.

“I’ll have to owe you, then.” Fili made to turn away, but Kili didn’t let him go.

“I’ll let you owe me as long as you give me a kiss on account,” Kili said with a smile.

“I think that can be arranged.”

Kili reached up and traced Fili’s bottom lip with his finger before leaning in and replacing the digit with his lips. Fili let his eyes drift closed and enjoyed the warm pressure before deepening the kiss. He wrapped one arm around Kili’s neck and leaned into him.

Ori’s laughter floated in on the breeze and penetrated Fili’s daze. He broke the kiss and bumped Kili’s forehead with his own.

“Bad timing,” Fili whispered.

Kili nodded. “You should probably start the chicken.”

Fili took a deep breath. Before Kili could pull away, he whispered, “I’d like it if you would stay with me tonight.”

“Are you sure?” Kili asked. When Fili nodded, he got a wicked smile before saying, “Then I’d love to.”

There was another laugh from outside, and Fili gave Kili another quick kiss before pulling back. “I’ll get the chicken.”

Kili nodded and went back outside.

Fili grabbed the dish of marinating chicken and followed, whistling the theme from Disney’s Robin Hood.

 


	39. Chapter 39

After dinner was finished Dori, Nori, and Ori said their goodbyes and took their leave.  Ori was still chattering happily over the variety of things Kili helped him find, carrying the bucket clutched to his chest as they left. 

Kili helped Fili bring in the dishes and clean up.  Fili washed while Kili dried and talked about his walk with Ori. 

Fili was struck again by how well they were able to coordinate without thinking about it.  After he washed and rinsed a plate, Kili’s hand was there waiting for it.  After the dishes were clean, he put them away while Kili wiped down the counter.  Rather than being unnerved by it like before, this time it was almost comforting.  He leaned against the counter and watched Kili wipe the table.

Conscious that Kili had eaten as much as anyone else, Fili asked him, “Are you still hungry?”

Kili shook his head no and tossed the towel he was using into the sink.  He crossed the kitchen to prop his arms on either side of Fili.  “The sun will go down soon.  Come swim with me.”

Fili narrowed his eyes and pretended to think.  “Aren’t we supposed to wait an hour after we eat?”

“I won’t let you drown,” Kili promised. 

“Okay, let me get my suit.”

“You don’t need it.”  Kili leaned down for a quick kiss before heading for the door.  He was already taking off his shirt. 

“You’re such a nudist,” Fili called after him, but took off his clothes before leaving the house. 

He followed the trail of clothes across the deck and down the stairs.  Kili was already at the edge of the water, looking out to sea.  Fili paused to admire the sight.  The setting sun made Kili’s skin glow golden and highlighted glints of auburn in his dark hair.  Broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist and a lush ass above strong legs.  Fili’s fingers curled in against the urges to either touch Kili or grab a pencil and start sketching. 

Kili turned to look back at him and asked, “Are you coming?”

“Not yet.”  Fili felt his face flame at the unintended double entendre.

Kili’s eyebrows popped up before he started laughing.  He was still grinning when he jogged out into the water. 

Watching Kili dive under, Fili decided to put his questions aside for tonight.  He still wanted answers, and he was still concerned about appearing too needy.  All of that could wait.  It would still be there tomorrow.  Right now he just wanted to spend time with Kili and see where it would lead. 

He waded out to where Kili was frolicking in the waves.  Kili flung his wet hair back out of his eyes and gave him a smile.  Fili returned it before diving under, grabbing Kili’s ankles, and yanking him off balance.  He came up laughing only to meet the same fate a moment later.  Fili quickly learned it was unwise to start a water fight with a selkie.  He was a decent swimmer but Kili swam circles around him, sometimes literally. 

Once they burned off some energy, they went back to shore.  Fili sat down with his legs stretched out in front of him, leaning back on his arms and enjoying the ticklish feel of the waves lapping at his ankles.  Kili sat a short distance away, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them. 

The sun was going down as the moon was rising, full and heavy on the horizon.  There were a few thin clouds streaked pink and orange against the blues and violets of the sky.  It was still warm enough to not get a chill from the gentle breeze coming from the water. 

Kili turned his head to look at Fili.  He laid his cheek on his knee and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Fili looked at Kili, taking in the way his eyes were shining.  Kili had that feral look again, here in the between.  They were between the land and sea, day and night, and maybe between stages of their relationship as well.  Fili didn’t know anything about magic, but he felt something.  It would be blasphemous to deny it. 

“Yes,” Fili whispered and nodded. 

Kili turned and shifted to his hands and knees, crawling closer to Fili.  When he got close enough, Fili leaned forward to meet him.  The kiss was sweet but brief. 

Pulling back enough to look at Fili, Kili said, “I want you.  I’ve wanted you since I first saw you and you had the sea trapped in your eyes.  I want to taste you.  Will you let me?”  When Fili nodded, he leaned forward for another kiss. 

Fili wound a hand around the back of Kili’s neck, finding the warm skin under his hair.  He broke the kiss to lay back on the sand, giving Kili a tug and encouraging smile.  Kili returned the smile before bending down to kiss him. 

Under the curtain of Kili’s hair, Fili closed his eyes and let Kili deepen the kiss.  It was nice, but he wanted more contact.  He wrapped his arm around Kili’s waist and pulled him closer until they were chest to chest.  Kili slipped one leg between his, and started trailing kisses along his jaw. 

Fili tilted his head and made a noise deep in his throat.  His cock was already filling, and he could feel Kili hot and hard against his thigh.  The waves were still soft and cool, tickling his feet with their ebb and flow and the contrast was making him dizzy.  He plunged one hand into Kili’s hair as teeth grazed his neck, using the grip as an anchor.  Kili mouthed down his neck to his chest, tongue tracing across the muscles there before flicking at one of his nipples. 

Fili gasped and opened his eyes to watch Kili lick across his chest to his other nipple.  He wanted to take Kili into the house, take him to bed and take him inside, but he was in no hurry.  Not when Kili was dropping little kisses down his side and along his ribs, his wet hair following with cool caresses.  Not when Kili nibbled on the sensitive skin above his hip.  Not when Kili wrapped his mouth around Fili’s hard cock.  If there was magic here, some of it must surely be in Kili’s talented tongue.  Fili closed his eyes and groaned. 

Kili pulled off, replacing his mouth with his hand, to ask, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, definitely okay.”  Fili opened his eyes and propped up on his elbows to give Kili a smile.  It turned to a frown though, and he said, “Wait, no.  I want to be able to touch you, too.”

Kili’s eyebrows rose before he gave a brilliant smile and nodded.  He shifted around, grabbed Fili’s hips, and rolled them both.

Fili ended up on top of Kili, his knees on either side of Kili’s head and facing Kili’s feet.  Kili pulled on his arm and Fili let himself fall to his hands and knees, hovering over Kili and faced with an erection. 

“Okay?” Kili asked. 

Instead of answering, Fili licked a stripe down Kili’s cock. 

With a breathless little laugh, Kili said, “I guess so.”  He wrapped his hands around Fili’s hips and pulled him down, swallowing Fili’s cock to the root.

“Oh fuck,” Fili muttered.  He let his head fall forward and rested his forehead against Kili’s hip. 

Kili hummed and Fili moaned before taking Kili’s cock into his mouth.  He held it for a moment, savoring the weight before tonguing at the slit.  Kili whined and copied the action. 

After that it turned into a friendly competition, each trying to distract the other from what they were doing.  It was a little awkward because Kili was taller, but they managed.  More than once Fili had to pull off to catch his breath, biting his lip and trying not to come first.  He waited until Kili had both knees pulled up, thrusting his hips up to meet Fili’s mouth.  He curled one arm around Kili’s leg and pressed a knuckle hard into his perineum while taking his cock as deep as he could.  Kili fisted a hand into Fili’s hair and came with a choked sound. 

Fili couldn’t breathe for a second, then he pulled back until just the tip of Kili’s cock was in his mouth.  Kili was still coming, and he swallowed what he could, letting the rest leak out of the corners of his mouth.  Kili tasted salty and he smelled of the sea.  He could hear Kili’s harsh breaths mingling with the sound of the surf and his own heartbeat.  It lasted forever until suddenly it was over. 

“Not fair,” Kili said, but there was laughter his in voice. 

Pulling off with an audible noise, Fili couldn’t keep the grin off his face when he said, “Fair?  I didn’t realize we had established rules.”

When Fili tried to move, Kili locked an arm around his waist and another around one thigh.  “Oh no, you don’t.  I’m not through with you yet.”

Keeping Fili pinned in place, Kili mouthed at the vein in his cock before swallowing him down again.  Fili relaxed against him, murmuring encouragements.  Soon enough he was rocking into Kili’s mouth, trying to be careful and not choke him.  Kili was pulling him in with hands on his hips though, so Fili let him set the pace.  Soon enough Fili stiffened and cried out with his own orgasm.  Kili didn’t stop until Fili was done, milking him through it and drinking him down. 

When he finished, Fili rolled off of Kili and flopped to his back in the sand.  He splayed out, head by Kili’s feet, and stared up at the sky.  When Kili took his hand, he flipped it over so he could intertwine their fingers. 

“That was fun,” Kili said.  He sat up and looked at Fili’s face. 

“It was okay,” Fili said, feigning nonchalance.

“Okay?  Just okay?” Kili said with a huff.  “I did much better than okay.”

Fili smiled at Kili’s tone.  “It was nice, I guess.”

“Nice!”  Kili leaned over Fili with a scowl and mock outrage.  “It was much better than nice.”

Fili craned his neck to soothe Kili’s grumbling with a kiss.  They broke apart with a sputter when a wave splashed up higher than the others, almost covering Fili. 

“The tide’s coming in,” Kili pointed out. 

“I noticed,” Fili said with a laugh.  “Ready to go back in?”

Kili nodded, stifling a yawn.  He stood and helped Fili to his feet, and they walked hand in hand back to the house.  They shared a bottle of water before a quick shower to rinse off the sand and salt.  After drying off, they didn’t bother with pajamas and tumbled into bed.  After a bit of turning and adjustments, Fili was on his back with Kili curled up against his chest. 

He still had questions, and the decision whether or not to give Kili the keys to the shed still weighed on him.  For tonight, Fili let it all go.  He hugged Kili to him and was content.


	40. Chapter 40

Kili was a warm lump under the blankets when Fili woke up.  It reminded Fili less of a seal and more of a cat, the way Kili was curled into a ball and hogging the bed. 

Fili eased out of bed and put on a pair of sweatpants.  He grabbed a band and put his hair up in a bun as he headed to the kitchen.  He started a pot of coffee and pulled the pancake mix from the pantry while it was brewing.  A quick inventory of the fridge showed he needed to go shopping.  He set the mix back in the pantry and fixed a cup of coffee before starting to make a list.  Maybe he should wait for Kili to wake up so he could ask about any preferences. 

He leaned on the counter and took a sip of his coffee while looking out the window.  How had Kili become a part of his life so easily?  It was like he’d had a hole in his life, and Kili fell into it and filled it.  He didn’t even know the hole was there until it was gone. 

There was still so much he didn’t know.  Did Kili have a family somewhere?  Friends?  Where is he from?  He was pulled from his contemplation when arms snaked around his waist, pulling him back against a warm chest. 

Kili hummed and dropped a kiss on the back of his neck before saying, “Good morning.”

“Morning.  I made some coffee,” Fili replied. 

“I’d rather have tea,” Kili murmured against the back of Fili’s neck. 

Fili ignored how Kili’s breath gave him goosebumps and said, “I was going to make pancakes but I’m out of milk.  I know you don’t like the car, but are you up for a trip to town?”

Kili released him and moved to make a cup of tea.  “For what?”

“We can get breakfast somewhere and then go to the store.  Maybe do a little more exploring.  See if anything exciting catches our attention.”

A brief hesitation before Kili asked, “And we would come back here?”

Fili leaned over and touched Kili’s shoulder.  When Kili looked at him, he said, “This is my home.  I’ll always come back here.  And I promise I’m not ever going to go off and leave you to fend for yourself in town or anywhere else.”

“I’ve told you before it’s a bad idea to make a promise to a fae,” Kili warned, but he was smiling and had lost some of the tension around his eyes. 

“Well then, I still owe you brownies and ice cream.  We can pick that up at the store too.”  He reached out and took Kili’s hand.  “Does that sound okay?”

“I better put on some clothes.”  Kili nodded and headed to the bedroom before turning back and asking, “Do you think we can get some of that chocolate sauce too?  And bananas?”

“Whatever you want,” Fili assured him. 

Kili gave another bright smile and went to get dressed. 

Fili poured the rest of his coffee and Kili’s forgotten tea into the sink and rinsed out the cups.  After turning off the coffee pot, he jotted a few things down on his list and took the paper with him.  He never thought taking a selkie grocery shopping would ever be on his list of things to do, but here he was.  He shook his head with a chuckle and went to get ready to go. 

 


	41. Chapter 41

Fili thought about asking questions during the ride to town, but changed his mind.  Kili was obviously uncomfortable in the car, and it would be too much like an interrogation.  Instead he turned on the radio and held Kili’s hand. 

Once they parked and got out, Kili was better.  It helped that it wasn’t crowded.  They left the car at the store and walked to a little diner for breakfast.  By the time they got seated and ordered drinks, Kili was back to his usual cheerful self.  He recovered sufficiently enough to eat something called ‘The Lumberjack Sampler,’ which seemed to consist of just about everything on the menu.  Fili watched with awe and a little envy as Kili also managed to put away the remains of his stack of pancakes. 

After breakfast was over, they decided to take a stroll around.  They passed several stores, but the thing that caught Kili’s eye was the pile of sleeping ferrets in the pet shop window.  Of course they went in, and Kili had to look at everything.  The thing that stood out to Fili was that everything seemed to look back. 

It started with the ferrets.  When Kili leaned over the top of their pen, they all raised their heads and looked at him.  He murmured something and stroked the top of their heads with an index finger, one by one.  He moved on and their eyes followed him before they laid back down again. 

All of the animals did it.  The puppies stopped their roughhousing, the birds edged closer to the bars of their cages, even the fish seemed to stop and watch as Kili walked by.  It was eerie, and Fili decided he was never taking Kili to a zoo.  If small domestic animals reacted like this, what would something like an elephant do? 

The only things that didn’t do it were the kittens.  They acted as if Kili were a long lost friend, meowing and purring at him.  When Fili looked askance at them, Kili shrugged.  “Cats like me.”

After the pet shop they went back to the store where the car was parked.  Fili pulled his grocery list out of his pocket, but it quickly became obvious that the list was pointless.  Kili’s eyes went wide when they walked in the door, and they stayed that way. 

The first stop was the produce aisle, and Kili went straight to the bananas.  He reached for a bunch, but before he touched them he turned to ask Fili, “Can we get some?”

Fili nodded and Kili gave him a brilliant grin before grabbing a lot of bananas. 

“Maybe not so many.  They’ll spoil before you can eat them all,” Fili suggested. 

Kili frowned at his armload, and put half of them back before looking at Fili.  Fili sighed but nodded.  He could always make banana bread. 

“What’s this?”  Kili held out something that looked like it might be an alien egg. 

Fili shrugged and looked at the sign.  “A kiwano.”

“Are they good?”

“I’ve never had it.”

“Can we try one?”

Fili nodded and Kili stuck the weird fruit into the basket. 

That set the tone for the rest of the shopping trip.  Kili would see something he thought was interesting and want to try it.  Or he might find something that was familiar, but then want to try all of the different varieties.  He was astonished by how many brands of peanut butter there were, and amazed to discover there were other types of nut butters as well.  They left that aisle with three different types of peanut butter, a jar each of almond butter, cashew butter, cookie butter, and Nutella.  Fili would have to remember to make Kili a banana, peanut butter, and marshmallow fluff sandwich at some point. 

Kili thought the different types of milk were the funniest things he’d ever seen.  He was laughing as he inspected a container of almond milk.  “How do you even milk almonds?”

Fili had to admit he didn’t know, but he added small bottles of almond and soy milk to their already full basket. 

The last aisle they went down was the freezer containing the ice cream.  Kili’s mouth fell open when he saw the sheer variety of flavors and brands. 

“We can’t get much ice cream.  I don’t have enough room in the freezer,” Fili warned him. 

Kili pouted for a moment, but it was forgotten when Fili started reading off the ice cream names to help him decide which he wanted.  They ended up getting three flavors of ice cream, one gelato, and one sherbet.  Kili gave lingering looks to the novelty ice cream items, but Fili pretended not to notice. 

An older woman was manning the cash register, and she fixed them with a gimlet eye as they placed items on the belt to be rung up.  “You boys throwing a party or prepping for the apocalypse?”

Fili blushed and stammered, unsure of what to say. 

Kili had no such problems.  He gave the woman a bright smile and said, “We’re having friends over.  They’re bringing their kids, too.  You know how teenage boys eat.  There’s never enough food to go around.”

She returned the smile.  “Tell me about it.  I have three boys of my own.  I thought I’d have to take out a second mortgage before they grew out of it.”

While Fili paid for the groceries, Kili continued to charm the clerk.  After their bags were loaded into the cart, Fili declined the offer of help and the clerk sent them off with a cheery wave. 

As they were transferring the bags to the trunk, Fili said, “That was quick thinking back there with the clerk.”

“I’m used to coming up with stories when people ask too many questions.”  Kili shook his head and laughed.  “It’s not like I’d tell the truth.”

Fili’s heart sank.  If he asked too many questions, would Kili answer them or would he spin a story like he had done in the store? 

After the bags were stowed away, Fili returned the cart to the corral and walked back to the car. 

Kili was still standing by the trunk.  He looked at Fili and lost his smile.  “Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s fine.”  Fili shook his head.  His good mood was deflated, but he still had fun today.  He held his hand out to Kili and asked, “Ready?”

Kili took it and gave a brief squeeze before releasing it.  “Yeah.  Let’s go home.”

 


	42. Chapter 42

When they got back, Kili helped carry the groceries into the kitchen but he looked wan and bleary-eyed.  His hand was shaking when he handed a bag to Fili. 

“Are you okay?” Fili asked.

Kili forced a smile and nodded. 

Fili set the bag down on the floor.  He caught Kili’s wrist and pulled him closer.  “What’s wrong?”

Kili dropped the smile and twisted his wrist to hold Fili’s hand.  “It’s just stressful to ride in the car and be around a lot of people.  I’ll be fine in a minute.”

“Why don’t you go relax on the couch?  I’ll finish putting the food away and make us some tea.” 

Kili nodded and kissed Fili’s cheek before heading to the living room.  He sat down on the couch with a quiet sigh, slouching down until he could rest his head on the back. 

It took longer than Fili expected to put away the rest of the groceries.  He had to reorganize the freezer to make room for everything.  Maybe he should order a stand-alone freezer.  It would be handy to have the extra room, and cutting back on trips to the store would be nice too. 

After the food was put away and the tea was brewed, Fili prepared a cup and took it to the living room.  He nearly sloshed the tea on to the floor when he caught sight of Kili, though. 

Kili had gone from slouching to laying down on the couch.  He was on his side with his knees pulled up, one hand curled under his cheek and the other tucked between his legs.  His mouth was slightly ajar and he was fast asleep.  Even though he was still too pale, he looked adorable. 

Fili took the cup of tea back to the kitchen and left it on the counter.  He went to the closet and pulled out a light blanket, unfolding it on his way back to the living room.  He hesitated, and then dug his phone out and snapped a picture of Kili before spreading the blanket over him.  Kili made a snuffling noise and tugged the blanket closer before settling back down again.  Fili grinned and turned the television on, keeping the volume low for background noise.  With a last glance at Kili, he sat at his desk and grabbed his pencil.

Several sketches later, the light had changed enough to be noticeable.  Kili was still snoozing, but a quick glance at the clock showed it was nearing suppertime.  Fili put away his stuff and decided to make something to eat before waking Kili up. 

Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches seemed like a safe bet.  It was easy to make and it was something his mother had made for him if he was not feeling well.  Hopefully Kili would feel better after his nap, but if not it would be something easy for him to eat. 

The soup was simmering in the pot when a pair of arms snaked around his waist.  Kili nuzzled against the back of his neck and said, “Something smells good.”

Fili smiled and said, “Grilled cheese?”

Kili hummed and nipped the back of his neck.  “I meant you, but the food smells good too.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes, but Fili was still smiling when he said, “It will be ready in a minute.”

They piled the sandwiches on one plate, and each got a mug full of soup.  Instead of eating at the table, they sat on opposite ends of the couch and tucked their feet under the blanket between them.  Fili wound up with his feet between the back of the couch and Kili’s hip, with Kili’s feet in his lap.  Kili balanced the plate of sandwiches on his legs while Fili used the remote to flip through the channels on the television. 

After eating several sandwiches and his soup, Kili looked much better.  His complexion was back to normal and the circles under his eyes had faded.  He caught Fili looking at him and winked. 

Fili set the remote on the coffee table and stood up to take his mug to the kitchen, taking the empty plate while he was at it.  “Do you have some room for dessert?  I can get you some ice cream if you like.”

“Actually, I think I’m hungry for something else,” Kili said, grabbing Fili around the waist and pulling him down.

Fili made a surprised noise when he found himself suddenly in Kili’s lap.  Kili grinned at him and Fili ignored the way his face was heating up to say, “I can make you another sandwich if you’d like.”

Taking the plate and mug from Fili’s hands, Kili sat them on the coffee table and shook his head.  “Not hungry for that, either.”

“What are you hungry for, then?”  Fili didn’t miss the way Kili watched his mouth. 

“Why don’t I show you?”  Kili leaned forward to give Fili a gentle kiss. 

Dishes forgotten, Fili braced one hand against Kili’s chest and relaxed against him, deepening the kiss and then pulling back to nip on Kili’s lush lower lip.  “I have an idea,” he murmured.  “Why don’t you take me to bed and you can show me anything you’d like me to see?”

Kili smiled against Fili’s mouth before giving him a quick peck and nodding.  In one swift motion, he kicked free of the blanket, scooped Fili up bridal style, stood up and headed for the bedroom. 

Fili made another little surprised meep sound, making Kili laugh.  He locked his arms around Kili’s neck and exclaimed, “I’m too heavy for this!  Put me down before you hurt yourself.”

“You aren’t heavy,” Kili told him as he turned sideways at the bedroom door.  “Watch your head.”

Fili angled his head so it wouldn’t hit the doorframe or the wall, but then he was falling when Kili dropped him on the bed.  He pressed his lips together so at least he didn’t make that embarrassing noise again.  Kili flopped on to the bed next to him, making Fili bounce and grin.  He carded a hand through Kili’s hair and said, “I want you.”

Kili propped up on one elbow and asked, “How?”

Grabbing the hem of Kili’s shirt, Fili started tugging on it.  “Naked, and in me.  Okay?”

“Yeah, but wait.”  Kili put a hand over Fili’s and pressed it to his chest.  “You’ve been taking care of me.  Will you let me take care of you, please?”

“You don’t have to –“

“I know I don’t have to,” Kili interrupted.  “But I want to.  Please.”

Fili couldn’t help but smile at Kili’s earnest expression.  He laid back on the bed and said, “Condoms and lube are in the top drawer of the nightstand.”

That got a brilliant grin from Kili.  Fili watched as Kili sat up and peeled out of his shirt before leaning over and grubbing around in the drawer.  He tossed the ribbon of condoms over his shoulder to the bed before digging for the lube. 

Fili took the ribbon and set it to the side with a snort.  “Optimistic, aren’t you?”

“Better to be prepared, no?”  Kili turned around and waggled the bottle of lube.  “Got it.”

“Good.  Now get over here.”  Fili caught a lock of his hair and gave a gentle pull. 

First Kili helped Fili out of his shirt, then he laid down beside him.  He leaned over for a kiss, and Fili melted against his chest. 

Kili was hot, always felt so much hotter than a human.  His hand left a warm trail on its way up Fili’s arm and where it curled around the back of his neck.  Kili’s mouth was searing where it kissed down his jawline and sucked on his earlobe.  Fili tilted his head, and his stomach gave a pleasant little flutter when Kili popped open the button on his pants.  He raised his hips and used one hand to help Kili pull them down and away, along with his underwear.  Fili was already hard and pulled Kili into another kiss. 

Kili still clutched the lube and scooted closer until he was partially laying on Fili, one jean-clad leg sliding between Fili’s thighs.  He held the lube up and looked at Fili. 

Fili nodded and cocked his knee, raising his leg. 

After fumbling for a second, Kili popped the lube open and squirted some on his fingers.  He reached between Fili’s legs and smeared more lube around than was strictly necessary until he found his goal.  There was a faint blush dusting his cheeks when he kissed Fili again before breaching him with one finger. 

Fili closed his eyes against the faint sting and relaxed.  He’d never admit it out loud, but Kili’s minute of clumsy uncertainty made him feel a little better.  Having sex with a new partner could be a little nerve wracking, no matter how much it was anticipated.  He was glad he wasn’t the only one with a mild case of nerves.  His train of thought was derailed when Kili pressed in another finger.

“Okay?”  Kili nipped at Fili’s neck. 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Fili assured him.  He gasped when Kili pushed farther in and pressed on his prostate. 

Kili chuckled and did it again.  When Fili tugged his hair, he scissored his fingers before twisting his wrist.  Another press had Fili rocking back against his hand. 

“Stop that.  I don’t want to come yet,” Fili said. 

“Sorry,” Kili said, sounding anything but apologetic. 

Fili smiled at him.  “No, you aren’t.  Kiss me.”

Kili obliged, still working on opening Fili up.  He twisted his wrist again, grazing that spot inside Fili with just enough pressure to send sparks of pleasure stuttering up his spine.  Fili rolled his hips with the motion of Kili’s hand and moaned.  Kili stole the sound from his lips with another kiss. 

“Another,” Fili murmured against Kili’s lips.

Kili nodded and mouthed his way down Fili’s neck as he added a third finger.  Fili let his head fall back and Kili nibbled along the column of his throat. 

“Enough, I want you,” Fili said.  He groped along for a second before finding the ribbon of condoms. 

After carefully removing his fingers, Kili stood up long enough to shuck his jeans.  He took the offered ribbon and pulled one condom loose.  He wrestled with the wrapper as he knelt between Fili’s legs, finally giving up and tearing it open with his teeth.  He rolled it on, grabbed the lube, and slicked up his cock before leaning over Fili and lining up. 

“Ready?”

Fili nodded.  Kili caught one of Fili’s legs behind the knee, pushing it up higher and watching Fili’s face as he slid forward.  Fili held his breath until Kili was all the way in, trying to relax against the sensation of being stretched wide. 

“Still okay?” Kili asked. 

Fili nodded and rocked his hips.  Kili bent down and kissed him before starting to move.  Fili gasped and let his head fall back.

Kili moved in long, languid motions that reminded Fili of floating in the sea when the water was placid, like on the day they met.  He was unhurried but he shifted position until Fili moaned and arched under him.  He stayed at that angle, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in. 

Fili felt as if someone were removing his spine and replacing it with hot, liquid pleasure.  He reached up and Kili caught his hand, locking their fingers together and not stopping.  Fili squeezed his eyes shut and rocked up, meeting Kili’s thrusts.  The pleasure crashed over him and his body went taut as he orgasmed.  Kili whispered something and followed him over the edge a few strokes later, making Fili squirm from the heat of his release. 

Kili let go of Fili’s hand so he could grab the base of the condom and withdraw.  He pulled the condom off, tied a knot in it, and tossed it into the wastebasket by the bed before he laid down on his back beside Fili to catch his breath. 

Fili leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed his discarded shirt.  He used it to clean up then dropped it back on the floor.  He laid on his back and took Kili’s hand, staring up at the ceiling.  When his heartbeat had returned to normal, he said, “Well, that was nice.”

“Nice?”  Kili sounded affronted. 

“I guess it was okay,” Fili teased, keeping his voice nonchalant. 

Kili growled and hooked an arm around Fili’s neck, using it to pull him closer.  “I’ll just have to try harder to dazzle you next time.”

“Yeah, I guess you will.”  Fili turned until he was on his side, curled up with his head on Kili’s shoulder.  He wrapped an arm around Kili’s waist and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Will you tell me about your family?”

Kili lifted his head and looked at Fili with surprise.  “My family?”

Fili nodded.  “I don’t really know anything about you.”

Kili laid his head back down.  “I told you before you can ask me anything you want, and I meant it.  I have a boon to ask of you, though.”

“Yes?”

“Can we talk tomorrow?”  Kili kissed the top of Fili’s head.  “I think this may prove to be a long talk.  I’m willing to have it and I know I napped most of the day, but I’m still tired.”

“Sure.  We can do it after breakfast if you’d like.” 

“That would be nice.” 

Fili dropped a kiss to the shoulder under his head before turning over.  Kili spooned around him and pulled the sheet up to cover their legs before wrapping an arm around Fili’s waist and twining their fingers together. 

It had been a good day, followed by great sex and a promise to have a conversation tomorrow.  This was the happiest Fili had been since his parents passed away.  He snuggled back closer against Kili, gave a content little hum, and went to sleep. 

 


	43. Chapter 43

Fili woke with a stretch and a groan.  He was sore, but the memory of how he got that way made him smile.  He cracked open an eye and saw the other side of the bed was empty.  He sat up and listened, but the house was quiet. 

“Kili?”  Fili stood and pulled on a pair of sweatpants.  He padded into the living room, but no one was there either.  On his way to the kitchen, something on the floor caught his eye.

On closer inspection, it was a shell.  It had been set on the mat in front of the door, and there was a small yellow flower tucked into it.  Fili smiled and carried it to the kitchen, setting it on the table.  It was Kili’s version of a BRB note.  He’d probably gone out for a quick swim. 

He’d be hungry when he got back, so Fili decided to make breakfast.  Muffins would be a safe bet.  He mixed them up, got the pan in the oven, and brought his laptop to the table while they cooked. 

He did some online shopping and was browsing chest freezers when the timer dinged.  After pulling the muffins out of the oven, he went outside and stood on the deck.  A look around showed no evidence of Kili, but that was unsurprising.  Hiding in plain sight seemed to be a fae thing, or at least a selkie thing. 

He went back in and made a cup of tea to go with his muffin.  He took his breakfast to the couch to eat while watching a movie.  When it was over he took his cup to the sink.  A glance out of the window showed nothing but the empty beach. 

Fili sat at his desk and tried sketching, but nothing came out right.  He kept looking out of the window, and once he thought he heard something.  When he got up to check, nothing was there.  Lunchtime came, but he wasn’t hungry.  He put the muffins away and sat in front of the television.  Some show was on, but he couldn’t keep track of the plot. 

Midafternoon, he gave up the pretense of paying attention to whatever it was, and went for a walk.  He wound up at the end of the jetty, sitting on his rock and staring out over the waves.  He sat there until the sun went down and it grew dark, then he went back inside. 

It looked like the legends about the fickle nature of male selkies were all true.  Even if they weren’t, it didn’t matter.  Kili had gotten what he wanted and now he was gone.  The flower wasn’t saying he’d be right back.  It was saying goodbye. 

 


	44. Chapter 44

Fili couldn’t sleep but he stayed in bed until dawn.  The first thing he did after getting up was take a shower.  The second thing was to strip the sheets from the bed and throw them in the washing machine.  He needed the smell of sex and Kili off of him and out of his bed.  Maybe he’d be able to sleep with it gone. 

He fixed a pot of coffee, but breakfast held no appeal.  He took a cup and went to sit out on the deck.  There were a few gulls flying around, and little sandpipers running back and forth in the waves.  There was one pelican flying low over the waves, occasionally diving in and surfacing with something in the pouch of its mouth.  There must be a school of fish there he couldn’t see.  There was no sign of Kili anywhere. 

The breeze coming off the water held a chill that the sun wasn’t high enough to dissipate yet.  Fili drew his knees up to his chest, tucking his feet tight against his butt.  He should check the forecast.  It looked like there might be clouds forming out at sea.  When was hurricane season?  It would be a good idea to keep an eye on that. 

Leaving his mug on the deck, he went down to walk on the beach.  The sand was cool on his bare feet, but once he got to the water line it was warmer.  He stepped over the high tide mark, dodging the tiny crabs that lived in the seaweed.  He watched a sandpiper dart in and grab one before running off.  There was a long piece of driftwood, and he picked it up and poked at the sand.  There were lots of small holes, so maybe there were clams or something living there.  It seemed cruel to dig something out of its home just to satisfy his curiosity, so he left them alone.  Instead he used the stick to write, “Where are you now?”

The sea held her secrets.  The only reply he got was a wave washing away his writing.  Maybe there was some sort of selkie magic that would carry his message to Kili through the water.  That didn’t seem likely.  Even if Kili got it, there was no reason to expect he would answer. 

Fili went back to the house and left his stick leaning against the bottom of the steps.  He carried his mug back in and got another cup of coffee to sip as he tried to find more information on his laptop.  He didn’t find anything new, of course.  The common thread of all the stories kept jumping out at him, though.  Male or female, the selkies eventually left their human lovers to go back to the sea.  Most of the time they were never seen again. 

He turned off the laptop and sat back with a sigh.  He should have expected this.  He’d seen the stories before jumping into bed with Kili.  He was nothing special, certainly not special enough to tempt a selkie into sticking around.  He couldn’t manage to keep a normal human relationship going.  Why would this be any different?

This was accomplishing nothing but making him maudlin.  He changed clothes, putting on the first thing that came to hand, and grabbed his keys.  He needed away from the house for a while.  Sitting here moping wasn’t doing any good.  Maybe he’d go to a movie. 

As he drove off, he couldn’t resist one more glance in the rearview mirror.  There was nothing there but the empty beach. 


	45. Chapter 45

Some days weighed like stones on the heart, heavy and making it hard to breathe.  It made the days stretch out until they were too long, but the nights were even longer.  It reminded Fili of when his parents had died.  He knew there were things he could do, but he didn’t want to do any of them. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but he was counting the days since Kili left.  The third day, he used the bananas and made bread.  The fourth day, he let Bard’s call go to voicemail.  Now it was the fifth day and there was a storm rolling in. 

Fili peeled the paper off of the muffins he had made the day Kili left, and took them down to the beach.  He watched the clouds over the water while he picked them apart and threw them up in the air.  One gull saw, and came swooping in to snatch a morsel in the air before landing and picking at the bits on the ground.  One seagull turned into three, and then a whole flock appeared out of nowhere. 

“How do you even know when to show up?  It’s like you’re psychic,” Fili told one brave gull by his foot.  The bird had no answers, but he threw it a hunk of muffin anyway.  He scattered the remainder and then held up his empty hands.  One bird coasting on the wind gave a disappointed cry. 

“Sorry, fella.  Maybe next time.”  Fili left the birds standing on the sand and staring after him.  When he got back inside he added ‘day old bread’ to his grocery list.  Seagulls weren’t picky, they wouldn’t mind.

He sat at his desk and picked up a pencil, but instead of drawing anything he stared at the paper.  Eventually he doodled a cartoonish seagull, wearing a hat and with a villainous mustache.  He was adding a border of shells when the squawking of the birds outside got his attention.  He looked up in time to see the flock taking off, calling warnings back and forth. 

There was a lump on the beach.  Hope flared in Fili’s chest, but the lump didn’t move.  Fili tried to quash the feeling, but he hurried out of the door.  By the time he reached the bottom of the steps, he was running.  Even so, he muttered, “It’s just trash that washed up.  That’s all it is, trash.”

As he got closer, he saw he was wrong.  It wasn’t trash, it was a seal.  Its eyes were closed, and it was breathing, but it didn’t react as he got closer.  He slowed, and stopped a few yards away.  The seal still didn’t move and there was blood on the sand.  He took a step closer and dropped to his knees, but he couldn’t see where the blood was coming from. 

“Kili?”  Fili didn’t know if it was Kili or a wild animal.  Either way he had to help, but he couldn’t call for wildlife rescue if it was Kili.  He called again, a little louder.  “Kili?”

The seal opened its eyes and looked at him, but didn’t move. 

“If that’s you, I need you to become human.  I don’t know how to help you like this.”  If it wasn’t Kili, he’d feel stupid later.  Right now he was concerned with the creature in front of him.

The seal blinked at him and sighed.  It shimmied, and the heavy fog appeared, but it seemed to take much longer than before until Kili was laying naked in the sand, one hand clutching his pelt.  Fili gasped at the sight. 

Kili had a gash along one thigh, just above the knee.  It was the source of the blood, but the red around the jagged edge was more concerning than the sluggish flow.  Fili was more alarmed by Kili’s appearance than the wound, though.  Kili had lost a significant amount of weight.  It had only been five days, but Kili looked like he was starving.  He hadn’t been fat before, but he had a solid mass of muscle with padding.  Now the layer of padding was gone and he looked almost frail. 

Fili pulled his shirt off and pressed it to the wound on Kili’s leg, telling him, “There you are.  Let’s get you to the car so we can have a doctor look at you.”

Kili grimaced and shook his head.  “Modern medicine isn’t helpful for most fae.”  He tried to say something else, but his voice was so raspy Fili waved it away. 

“Okay, no doctors then.  We can go see what I have in the house.  Can you stand?”

Kili could, but walking was difficult.  Fili slung one of Kili’s arms around his shoulders, propping him up so he could make it to the house without putting too much weight on his leg.  The stairs were a herculean task, but they finally made it inside.  He helped Kili lay on the couch and prop his leg up. 

“Water?” Kili whispered and then winced, holding his throat. 

Fili filled the biggest glass he could find with ice water and brought it to Kili.  Kili drained it in huge gulps, not breathing until it was gone.  Fili reached out to take the glass back and Kili touched his wrist with two fingers. 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t know where else to go.”  Kili’s voice sounded better now. 

Fili twisted his hand to take Kili’s.  “I told you that you’re welcome here.  I meant it.”

“My pelt?”  Kili looked around with alarm. 

“I’ll go get it right now.”  Fili felt his face warm with a guilty blush.  He should have known to bring Kili’s pelt up with them.  He had his hands full of weakened selkie, though. 

He jogged out and was relieved to see the pelt was still where they left it.  He rolled it up like he’d seen Kili do, and tucked it under his arm.  The hair was coarser than he expected, and it was warm.  It felt almost alive, like a sleeping creature.  It was strange but not unpleasant. 

When he got back in the house, Kili was fast asleep on the couch.  He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes and one arm thrown over his head.  Fili set the pelt on the table and checked the wound on Kili’s leg.  It looked like the bleeding had stopped, so he left his shirt over it.  Kili didn’t budge during the examination.  Fili got a clean cloth and a bowl of warm water and washed the wound clean of sand before taping gauze over it.  Kili still didn’t wake up, so Fili covered him with a sheet and left him on the couch.  He’d give it a while before trying to wake him. 

Fili turned his attention to the pelt.  He didn’t want to leave it out where someone could see it.  He had no explanation for having a seal skin in his house.  Tucking it away in the back of a closet didn’t seem secure enough, either.  He decided to stick it in the storage shed.  He had gotten it for Kili to use for just this purpose, after all. 

After locking away the pelt, Fili returned to the house and dropped the keys into the basket with the shells.  He checked on Kili again, feeling his forehead to see if he was running a fever.  It was hard to tell, since Kili always ran hotter than a human. 

Fili sat back and sighed.  He wanted to know where Kili had been and what happened, but his questions would wait.  Kili looked half-starved and was probably dehydrated.  He would need to eat. 

Fili set another glass of water on the coffee table so Kili could reach it if he woke up.  After smoothing the sheet once more, Fili went to the kitchen to start dicing vegetables.  He would make a soup while he waited for Kili to wake up.  He didn’t know what else to do.

 


	46. Chapter 46

Fili waited until the soup was ready and then arranged a bowl with some crackers on a tray, along with a small glass of apple juice, hoping it wouldn't upset Kili's stomach.  Kili needed the calories and the vitamins wouldn't hurt.  He added a cup of tea and carried it to the coffee table.  After setting it down, he knelt beside the couch and the sleeping selkie.   

"Kili?"  When there was no reply, Fili gently rubbed Kili's shoulder.  "Kili, wake up." 

Kili blinked his eyes open, but didn't look fully aware.  "Fili?" 

"Yep, it's me.  Are you hungry?"  Fili gave him a smile.   

When Kili nodded, first Fili helped him sit up and handed him the glass of water from the coffee table.  Kili still looked weak, and Fili was worried about dehydration.  Kili polished it off, and Fili traded the empty glass for the tray.  In no time at all, Kili wolfed down the meal, juice and all.  Fili took the tray back as Kili sipped on the cooling tea.   

"Let's see if that bothers your stomach then you can have some more if you want," Fili told him.   

Kili nodded and looked around.  "Did you get my pelt?" 

"Yes, and I locked it in the shed outside.  No one can get to it and it’s safe, okay?" 

Kili looked uncertain but nodded again.   

Fili filled the glass with ice water once more and sat it on the table within Kili's reach.  He went to the bathroom and got a clean gauze, along with a tube of antibiotic ointment and surgical tape.  After a moment's hesitation, he grabbed a bottle of painkillers and took it all back to the living room.   

"I want to check on your leg.  The cut looked nasty and it might be infected," Fili said as he laid his supplies out on the coffee table.   

"I’ll be fine," Kili said, but he adjusted the sheet so Fili could get to the wound.   

Fili pulled off the gauze, careful not to pull the skin, and made a noise of surprise when he saw it.  The wound looked smaller, and the redness had abated.  It looked as if it had been healing for days rather than hours.   

"Selkies are fast healers from a lot of things.  It would have healed already if I'd been able to hunt better.  After some more food and rest, it will be like it never happened," Kili explained before he yawned so widely his jaw popped. 

“You should keep it covered anyway.  Can you use this?”  Fili held up the tube of ointment. 

Kili took the medication and sniffed it.  “I don’t think it will hurt anything.”

Fili took it back and applied a dollop to the fresh gauze.  Trying to be gentle, he pressed the gauze ointment-side down to the wound and started taping it in place.  “What happened, anyway?  How did you get hurt?”

“I was careless.  There was a shark –“

“A shark?  You got bit by a shark?” Fili asked in alarm. 

Kili gave him a sleepy smile and scooted so he could lay down on the couch again.  “It wasn’t near the shore.  Don’t worry, your beach is safe.”

“Oh.  But you got attacked by a shark?” 

“I’m not the biggest predator in the sea,” Kili pointed out.  “But no.  It saw me and was following, so I swam around a boat.  Usually I can lose them like that.  Sharks aren’t too smart and the shadows confuse them long enough to give me a chance to circle behind them and get away.  This was a fishing boat though, and as I swam by the men saw me.  One of them gigged me.”

“Gigged?”

Kili made a stabbing motion.  “Like a spear?  He couldn’t hold on to it though, and it wasn’t tied to anything.  I was able to dive and get away, and the shark was distracted by the fish they had on the hook.”

Fili couldn’t decide which part of that was more disturbing: the idea of predators in the water bigger than Kili, Kili being chased by a shark, or Kili apparently being stabbed by a guy on a boat.  “How can you sound so matter of fact when you say all of this?”

“The ocean can be dangerous.  Some days you eat, some days you get eaten,” Kili said with a wave of his hand before yawning again.  “I wasn’t able to pull the spear out until I got closer to shore.”

It would be hard for a seal to do it, so Fili asked, “Why didn’t you change into a human and pull it out?”

“A human in deep water and injured is as good as dead.  What if I got separated from my pelt somehow?  Besides, even with the spear I could swim better as a seal.  It made it hard to hunt, though.” 

Kili was looking tired, but Fili had to know.  He busied himself with putting everything on the tray as he asked, “Why did you leave, anyway?”

Kili got a sheepish look.  “I wanted to get something for you.  It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Now Fili felt guilty for assuming the worst.  Even so, he said, “You could have told me you were leaving.”

After another jaw-popping yawn Kili closed his eyes and murmured, “That would have ruined the surprise.” 

Fili huffed.  “I guess so.  Why don’t you take a nap?  I’ll fix something else to eat when you wake up.”

Already half asleep, Kili nodded and tugged the sheet up over his shoulders. 

Fili took the tray back to the kitchen and washed the dishes.  He felt bad that Kili was hurt, but he was happy that Kili hadn’t intended on leaving like that.  He couldn’t resist a quick peek, and saw Kili curled up on his side.  Kili slept more like a cat than a seal and it made Fili smile. 

He started pulling things out of the pantry.  While Kili rested, he could make some cookies.  It gave him something to do and Kili’s sweet tooth would appreciate it.  The storm would be hitting soon, and Fili couldn’t think of anything better than curling up with a good book, fresh cookies, and Kili. 

 


	47. Chapter 47

Fili made three batches of cookies, set them aside to cool, and ate some of the soup for dinner.  The storm had rolled in, and the rain was a steady patter on the roof.  Every now and again there was a distant rumble of thunder, but it looked like the worst of it was passing around them.  He took a cup of tea and stood in front of the window, sipping it and watching the waves. 

The shed was still locked and holding up fine in the bad weather, he was happy to see.  Now he was glad he had decided to invest in the polymer plastic shed.  The other types may have been more stylish, but metal would rust in the sea air, and wood would warp.  This shed could withstand the weather, and he could even have it wired for electricity if Kili wanted.  He’d ask once things got settled. 

Kili was still sleeping on the couch.  Fili had left the lights in the room off, not wanting to wake him.  The ambient light from the kitchen showed that Kili still had dark circles under his eyes, and was much too pale.  His hair was a tangled mess, he had one arm tucked under his head, and was drooling. 

Fili set several cookies on a plate and covered them with a napkin.  He prepared another glass of ice water, and took it along with the cookies and sat them on the coffee table.  They would be within easy reach if Kili woke up and wanted a snack.  Fili debated waking him up for more soup, but decided Kili would benefit from the rest more right now.  Hopefully some more sleep and a few decent meals would help Kili heal. 

That’s what Kili said, anyway.  This seemed to stress how little Fili knew about him, or his life, or selkies in general.  Maybe this had happened to Kili or someone close to him before.  Well, right now all Fili could do is let him relax, take care of him, and keep his pelt safe until he was well enough to reclaim it. 

Fili put the leftover soup away and fixed a fresh cup of tea.  He left the kitchen light on in case Kili woke up and took his tea into the bedroom.  He settled into bed with a book and the tea on the nightstand within easy reach.  Soon enough, the sound of the rain and surf combined with the relief of having Kili here and safe had him nodding over his book.  When he realized he’d been trying to read the same page for the past ten minutes, he set it aside and nestled down into the pillows.  He was asleep in no time.

At some point in the night, he was woken up by Kili prodding his arm and asking, “Can I sleep in here with you?”

In response, Fili scooted over and raised the blankets in invitation.  Kili climbed under them, feeling warm but not feverish as he spooned up against Fili’s back.  Kili laced their fingers together and murmured something, but Fili was already asleep again. 

 


	48. Chapter 48

When Fili woke up, the rain has stopped but it was still overcast and gloomy outside.  Kili was nothing more than a snoring lump under the blankets.  Fili left him to it and got up. 

The plate and glass from last night were in the sink.  Kili must have eaten the cookies because they were nowhere to be seen.  Fili filled the coffee pot and leaned on the counter while he waited for it to brew. 

He missed his parents.  They used to take their coffee and sit on the back porch every morning to watch the world wake up.  He missed being able to turn to them for help or advice.  He missed how vibrant and joyful their house had been.  He missed how his life had been before their accident.  It felt like everything since had been out of his control.  Maybe the control had been an illusion, and his parents had buffered him from the harder parts of life.  Now he was having to make all the decisions and do all of the work alone.  It made him realize how woefully unprepared he was for being an adult.

The coffee finished and he shook his head as he made a cup.  The weather must be making him melancholy.  Yes, he missed his old life, but he was busy making a new one.  He still had Bard he could call, and the kids were like family.  Here, he had Dori and his younger brothers who had quickly become a part of life.  Not to mention there was a wounded selkie curled up in his bed right now.  Life wasn’t bad here, just different. 

Taking his coffee, he went out on the deck and sat on the steps.  Everything looked gray today.  The water, the sky, the few gulls standing around on the sand, even the sand itself seemed washed out and devoid of color.  Everything was quiet and subdued under the low layer of clouds. 

He watched the listless birds as he finished his coffee.  With the light diffusing through the clouds, it was hard to gauge how long he’d been out on the steps.  He got up and took his cup to the sink before peeking into the bedroom. 

Kili had flipped over and was facing the doorway, hugging Fili’s pillow with one arm while the other was tucked under his cheek.  He was gaunt, elbows and cheekbones too prominent.  The dark circles under his eyes had abated, but he still had them.  His hair was dried out and tangled and he had a furrow in his brow. 

Seeing Kili look so wan and haggard made Fili’s stomach twist.  He might not know what he was doing or how to be an adult, but at least he knew how to cook.  Kili had said he would get better with food and rest?  Fine.  Fili could oblige.  He headed back to the kitchen and got to work. 

 


	49. Chapter 49

“Kili, wake up.”

There was no response from the lump under the blankets, so Fili tried again. 

“Breakfast is ready.  Wake up.”

Still nothing, so Fili huffed and crossed the room to sit on the bed.  He pulled the blanket back so he could see Kili’s face.  He rubbed Kili’s shoulder and gave it another shot.

“Kili?  Are you hungry?”

Kili opened his eyes, but he looked half asleep.  He reached out and caught Fili around the back of his neck and pulled him down.  He wrapped his arms around Fili’s chest, manhandling him into the desired position so he could spoon against Fili’s back. 

“Kili, wait.”  Fili tried to pull away, but Kili was strong.  It might have helped if Fili actually tried to put up more of a struggle, though.

Kili ignored his protests.  He whined and murmured, “You came back.  Stay and come cuddle with me.”

“You’re incorrigible.”  Fili laughed and tried to get away when Kili snuffled against the back of his neck.  “Stop that!  It tickles.”

All that did was encourage Kili to blow raspberries against the back of Fili’s neck.  Fili tried to roll over, but Kili threw a leg over him to pin him in place.  Kili started tickling him until he was reduced to helpless giggles, squirming to try and get away.  When Fili was breathless, Kili quit and hugged him tight. 

“That’s what you get for waking me up,” Kili said, satisfaction thick in his voice. 

Fili patted Kili’s hand on his chest.  “Fine, next time I won’t wake you.  I’ll just eat breakfast all by myself.”

That caught Kili’s attention.  “Breakfast?”

“More like brunch, now.”

Kili untangled from the blankets and Fili and rolled out of bed. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” Fili pouted.  “I’ve been abandoned for food.”

“I’m starving,” Kili said with a shrug.  He held a hand out to Fili.

“Of course you are.  You’re always hungry.”  Fili took the offered hand and let Kili pull him to his feet. 

“Pretty much,” Kili agreed and dropped a kiss on Fili’s forehead.  “Sometimes it feels like I can’t ever get enough to eat.”

Fili felt a pang in his chest at the idea of Kili going without enough to eat.  He ignored it though and said, “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.  I went a little overboard.” 

When they went into the kitchen and Kili saw what Fili was talking about, he said, “Wow, you aren’t kidding.”

Fili had cooked a lot of food.  There was a skillet of scrambled eggs mixed with cheese and onions on the stove.  There was a huge stack of pancakes with warm blueberry compote next to a dish full of bacon and sausage.  There were cinnamon rolls glazed on a wire rack next to a bowl full of melon slices, and toast stacked neatly on a plate. 

Kili looked over the smorgasbord laid out and gave Fili a curious look. 

“I was bored.  Want me to fix you a plate?”  Fili ignored the look. 

“I can do it.”  Kili made no move, though.  He kept staring at Fili. 

Finally Fili got uncomfortable and cocked an eyebrow at Kili.  Kili shook his head and stole a quick kiss before going to get breakfast.  Fili watched him walking, and while Kili was still limping, at least he could put weight on his injured leg.  They could change the bandage after Kili ate and took a shower. 

Kili wasn’t exaggerating when he had said he was hungry.  He emptied three heaping plates before starting to slow down.  Fili kept encouraging him to eat until Kili pushed his plate away with a groan. 

“Ugh. No more.  I’m stuffed.”  Despite his protests, Kili took another bite of melon.  Once he swallowed, he said, “Thank you for making all of this.  You didn’t have to.”

Fili felt his cheeks warm as he shrugged.  “I know you said selkies eat more than humans.  And you said you needed more food to heal right.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to provide it.”  Kili was frowning at his plate. 

“Hey.”  Fili waited until Kili looked at him before continuing.  “No matter what, regardless of anything else, if you're hungry you can come here and eat.  Always.  Okay?”

Kili’s brow wrinkled as his eyebrows rose and he smiled.  Nevertheless, he said, “It’s a bad idea to give a blanket invitation to a fae.  I could eat you out of house and home.” 

Fili laughed at that.  “I’ll give it anyway.  I think I can manage to feed you.”

“Well, the least I can do is clean up, then,” Kili said as he rose to take his plate to the sink. 

“Nope.  You go sit on the couch and get off of that leg and out of my way.”  Fili plucked the plate from Kili’s hand. 

“My leg’s –“

“Going to rest on the couch,” Fili interrupted.  He scowled and pointed at the couch.  “Go.”

Kili rolled his eyes but smiled and said, “Yes, sir.”

Leaving the plate on the table, Fili followed behind as Kili went to the living room.  “Do you like Disney films?”

“Disney films?”  Kili looked baffled and shrugged. 

“I love them.  Here, watch the movie while I clean up then I’ll join you.”

While Kili settled on the couch with a blanket, Fili hooked his computer to the television.  He wavered over playing _The Little Mermaid_ but decided to save that one for later.  Instead he started _Beauty and the Beast_.

“This is one of my favorites,” Fili said as he walked past Kili. 

Kili made a noncommittal noise.  Fili kept watching him while cleaning up the breakfast dishes, though.  By the end of the scene where the beast is cursed, Kili was watching avidly.  By the time Maurice bumbled his way to Beast’s castle, Kili was starting to yawn.  He dozed off shortly after Gaston’s big song, and was snoring well before the end of the movie. 

After cleaning up, Fili pulled some stuff out of the freezer to defrost.  If he was going to feed a recuperating selkie, he would have to go to the store at some point.  He made a list and smiled as he remembered how much Kili had enjoyed their last shopping trip.  He didn’t want Kili to go again though, not until he was healthy enough to handle the taxing trip. 

Leaving Kili asleep on the couch, Fili went to the bedroom to give his book another shot.  The bed was too comfortable and his stomach was too full.  He wound up dozing off halfway through. 

 


	50. Chapter 50

It wasn’t much later, judging by the angle of the sun, when Fili woke up.  It wasn’t the light that had woken him, however.  It was the chirping of his phone on the nightstand.  He batted at it with one hand, thinking it was the alarm clock for a second before he woke up a little more and grabbed it. 

“ ‘Lo?”

“You were asleep.”

Fili grunted.  “Hi, Bard.”

“Isn’t it the middle of the afternoon?  Are you sick?”

Rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand, Fili stretched before answering.  “I haven’t been sleeping well.  Kili got hurt and he’s staying here while he gets better.”

“What happened?”

He couldn’t say what really happened, so he got creative.  “He fell on the jetty and cut his leg.”

“Yikes.  Did he need stitches?”

“Nah.  It’ll be fine in a few days.”

Bard was quiet for a moment before asking, “You like this guy, don’t you?”

Fili didn’t have to think about it.  He smiled as he answered, “Yeah, I do.”

“Huh.”  Bard sounded surprised.

“What?”

“You sound happy.  I haven’t heard that in a while.”

“I am happy.”

“Well, if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Fili knew he had a goofy grin, and he was sure Bard was smiling too.  “Maybe you and the kids can come down one day.  I’d like for you to meet him.  Didn’t you say the girls wanted to come to the beach?”

Bard groaned.  “Don’t get them started.  I still think Sigrid is interested in surfer boys.”

“How’s the cheerleading thing going, by the way?”

“Tilda’s in a junior cheerleading boot camp that meets after school.  She’s enjoying it.”

“Are you getting along with the cheer moms?”

“No,” Bard said flatly.  “I hate them all.  I overheard one telling her daughter not to eat something or she’d get fat and not be able to be a cheerleader.  Who says that to a third grader?”

“Ew.”

“Exactly.  I work hard trying to keep a decent self-image going for the kids, and this woman says something like that in front of them?  Like it isn’t hard enough with television and everything else.”  Bard was working himself into a state. 

Trying to be supportive, Fili said, “Well, I hate them, too.”

Bard snorted.  “You don’t know them.  Besides, you don’t hate anybody.”

“I do, too,” Fili insisted.  “I hate lots of people.”

“You are disgustingly congenial.  You can get along with just about anyone.”

“I hate them on your behalf.  Do you need me to come and glare at them?”

Bard laughed.  “I think I have that covered.”

“The offer is open.  I’ll come and glare any time you need it.”

“I appreciate it.”  Bard sighed.  “This single parent thing is hard.”

“You know I’m here if you need anything.”

“I know.  That works both ways, too.”

Fili laughed.  “Hopefully we won’t both be having a crisis at the same time.  One of us needs to be emotionally stable.”

“Yeah, I think the term stable might be relative,” Bard said wryly. 

“The next time the kids have a few days off of school, why don’t you come visit?  We can make a bonfire and let them cook s’mores on the beach.  It’ll be fun,” Fili offered. 

“Let me check the calendar.  I might take you up on that.  A little break could do them all good.”

“Just let me know when.”  A noise from the living room caught his attention.  “I’m going to let you go.  I need to check on Kili.”

“I can meet him if we come down.  Give him the standard shovel talk, terrify him with three children, that sort of thing.”

“Gee, thanks.

“What are friends for?  Besides, you’ll want to know if he scares easy.”

“I can find that out on my own.  I think I’m keeping this one.”

“Oh, now I really need to meet him.”

“Goodbye, Bard.”

“Tell Kili I said I look forward to meeting him and I hope his leg feels better soon.”

“Goodbye, Bard.”

“I’ll talk to you later.  Bye.”

Fili dropped the phone back on the nightstand and got up.  He smoothed his hair back and pulled it into a ponytail, bouncing high on the back of his head.  Time to go check on his selkie before he started dinner. 

 


	51. Chapter 51

Fili paused in the doorway.  Kili was standing by the window, looking out at the beach.  At some point he had put on a pair of Fili’s shorts, but hadn’t bothered with a shirt.  The bandage on his leg stood out in stark contrast to his tanned skin.  He was slumped down with his arms crossed and shoulders pulled up, and it made him look smaller.  He looked tired, stressed, and too thin, and Fili hated seeing him like that.  Fili cleared his throat and Kili flinched.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Fili said.

Kili ran a hand through his hair, catching it on a tangle and tugging it free.  “It’s okay.”

“How’s your leg?”

“Fine.”

Fili frowned at Kili’s terse tone.  “Can I see?”

Kili huffed, but came to sit on the couch.  Fili joined him and began to carefully pull off the tape.  He made a noise of surprise when he saw the wound.  It was scabbed over, new pink skin around the edges replacing the redness of infection.  If it continued at this rate, it would be healed within a couple of days. 

“See?  Selkies heal fast,” Kili said. 

“Yeah, you mentioned that.  I guess you don’t need this anymore,” Fili said as he folded up the gauze to dispose of it.  “I was going to put something on for dinner.  Do you want to help?”

Kili took a deep breath.  When he exhaled, Fili saw some of the tension drain from him.  He shrugged and said, “Sure.  I don’t know much about cooking, though.”

“Are you okay?” Fili asked.

Kili smiled and nodded.  “I’m still feeling worn down, I guess.  I’ll be fine.”

Fili searched Kili’s face for a moment longer.  Kili looked calm enough now but still had a furrow between his eyes.  If there was anything wrong, he didn’t want to talk about it, so Fili took him at his word and returned the smile.  “Then I’ll show you how to cook.”

Fili went to the kitchen and Kili followed.  After throwing away the bandage and washing his hands, Fili started pulling things out and lining them up on the counter.  “This isn’t anything fancy, but it’s good.  It’s something my mom used to make when she didn’t feel like cooking.”  Kili watched as Fili threw some boneless, skinless chicken into a casserole dish before saying, “Grab the measuring cup and the red box.”

Under Fili’s direction, Kili measured and poured rice into the dish and added water.  Fili poured a can of mushroom soup in, and let Kili stir it before he put the lid on the dish.  Kili put it in the oven and looked at Fili for what to do next.  Fili put him to work with a melon baller and half a cantaloupe.  While Kili did that, Fili started cleaning and cutting up strawberries.  They worked in silence for a while, but Kili broke it.

“I never did tell you about my family.”

Fili looked up in surprise.  “No, you didn’t.”

Kili popped a melon ball into his mouth, chewed it and swallowed before continuing.  “Selkies don’t have families like humans.  I’ve seen humans that stayed close to their family their whole life.  We don’t do that.  Once we’re grown, we don’t have much contact with each other.”

“So you what?  Just leave and not see each other anymore?”  Fili frowned.  That sounded lonely. 

Kili offered Fili a melon ball.  He explained, “Don’t get me wrong.  I see my mother often enough that she would notice if I went missing.  I haven’t seen the rest of my kin in years, though.”

Fili thought about that while he chewed his melon.  Once his mouth was clear he asked, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“I don’t know.”

“What?  You don’t know?”

Kili chuckled and offered more melon, which Fili refused.  “Selkies can get territorial sometimes.  It’s common for dams to keep their children away from each other so they don’t wind up killing a sibling.  Usually it isn’t much of a problem.  There’s enough space for all of us.  The world isn’t exactly brimming with selkies.  There’s too much metal.”

This conversation was raising more questions, but Fili wanted his curiosity about Kili satisfied first.  “You mentioned the metal in the car bothered you when we went into town.”

“Right.  Fae don’t fare well with a lot of iron.  Being around a lot of humans for too long gets taxing, too.  I don’t know why.”  Kili reached over and stole a strawberry from Fili’s pile. 

“It gets taxing even if you’re a human,” Fili said with a wry grin.  “What about your father?”

“Selkies don’t mate for life, and it’s rare for a dam to keep the father around once she’s pregnant.  Most whelps don’t meet their father until they’re a little older.  My parents are anything but normal, though.  My father stays far enough away so my mother can pretend he isn’t there, and she lets him stick around.  I know him but we aren’t exactly close.”

“What about grandparents?  Aunts and uncles?”  Fili offered Kili another strawberry.

“My grandparents are dead,” Kili said before he popped the berry into his mouth. 

“I’m sorry.”  Fili poured the cleaned strawberries into the bowl with the melon balls and stuck it in the fridge. 

Kili shook his head.  “Thanks, but I didn’t know them.  My mother has two brothers that I know, but we don’t see each other much.  I don’t think my father has siblings that he knows about.” 

Fili propped a hip on the counter.  “Are there a lot of you?  Fae in general, I mean.”

“More than you might think.  I don’t see many of them often, since I stay close to the shore.  Some of them have problems with salt.  Sometimes I’ll cross paths with other types, though.”

“How can you tell?  I wouldn’t know to look at you, if you hadn’t told me you were a selkie.  I might not have believed you if you hadn’t shown me, either.”

Kili got a thoughtful look.  “Fae have magic.  Even the weakest fae have a little magic in them.  You can feel it, if you know what to look for.”

“What does it feel like?”

Kili crossed the room to look out the window at the beach.  “Remember the between?  It feels like that, a little.  Only more alive.  It can be harder to find, because some strong fae can hide their magic enough that they feel weak.  Some of the weak fae can bluff to make you think they are stronger, though.”

Fili watched him.  Kili was getting that otherworldly expression again, like he could see things in the waves that were invisible to Fili.  It was eerie, but enhanced Kili’s beauty.  It was easier to believe in magic when he watched Kili shine with that inner glow.  Even as gaunt as he was, it only served to highlight his cheekbones and make his eyes seem amber in the sun. 

“What about selkies?” Fili asked. 

With a blink, Kili turned to Fili and was just Kili again.  “What about us?”

“Are you considered strong fae?”

Kili laughed.  “Not remotely.  Most of the others consider us almost the same as a human.  All we can do is switch forms between seal and man.  We don’t have hardly any magic to speak of.”

Thinking of his conversation with Bard, Fili asked, “Are mermaids real?”

“Mermaids?”

“Never mind.  You said selkies are territorial.  How do you know if there are others around?”

“When one spends a lot of time in a place, it leaves a sort of residue.”

Fili grimaced.  “Residue?”

“A psychic residue, not one you can see.”  Kili smiled at Fili’s relieved look.  “It keeps us from going where we won’t be welcome.  I’m afraid you won’t get many visits from other fae as long as I’m around.”

“I wasn’t planning on throwing a party or anything,” Fili said.  “I’m pretty sure I don’t know any fairies.”

“I haven’t seen any around.  I’ll let you know if I do.”  Kili smiled at him before looking out the window once more.  “Want to go swimming with me?”

“What about your leg?  Is it healed enough?”

“The salt water will help it.  Come on.” 

“Go ahead.  I’ll check on the chicken and catch up in a minute.”

Kili nodded and headed out the door.  He paused on the deck long enough to pull off the shorts and throw them on the railing before hurrying down the steps. 

Fili rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath.  “Such a nudist.”

He glanced in the oven before getting a drink of water.  Kili had given him a lot to think about.  It made him happy that Kili was here.  Being a selkie sounded awfully lonely. 

 


	52. Chapter 52

Fili leaned on the counter, sipping his glass of water.  He could see the beach from the window above the sink, and watched Kili frolicking in the surf.  He’d learned a lot about Kili, and a bit about selkie society in general.  There were still a lot of questions, but that was a good start. 

Somewhere, Kili had a family.  Not a family like Fili used to have, but there was a mother and a father in the picture, however distantly.  Selkies seem to live a life of solitude, and it wasn’t one Fili could imagine.  Not knowing if you have any brothers or sisters?  How often did Kili see his mother, if she would notice if he vanished?  That could mean anything from visits every weekend to the occasional holiday dinner. 

Did selkies have holidays?  The idea of a family of seals trying to celebrate Christmas made Fili grin.  He had a thought that fairies were supposed to be pagan.  Does Kili know what Christmas is?  From the little information Fili was able to glean from the internet, he had the vague idea that some fairies didn’t get along well with the trappings of Christianity.  Didn’t the idea of a tree start as a pagan custom, though? 

This was all complicated enough to give him a headache.  Fili rubbed at his temple and went in search of a painkiller.  He took it and returned to staring out of the window.  Kili was hidden for a moment until a dark head popped up over the waves.  Fili released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.  It was silly to worry.  If anyone was a good swimmer, it was Kili the selkie. 

Kili had mentioned other fae, too.  Having Kili around would keep other kinds away.  What other kinds are real?  Kili was benign enough, and Fili had read about some others that didn’t seem so bad.  Some of the stories were horrible, though.  Some types of fae seemed to delight in tormenting humans.  They all seemed to be other, or alien. 

Even Kili could be other, for all his claims of being weak and powerless.  He could blend in with humans when he wanted, but then he could pull magic around him like a cloak.  There was no denying he was different when he did it.  If the other fae considered Kili to be almost as mundane as a human, what were they like? 

The idea had the tiny hairs on Fili’s arms standing up.  He was glad that Kili’s claim to the area would keep others away.  He didn’t want to meet any of the fairies that were considered strong.  Fili could handle a little psychic residue.  At least Kili wasn’t going around and making his territory by peeing on things.  Well, not that Fili has noticed, anyway.  Fili snorted at that mental image.  Did Kili’s psychic residue extend to him, too?  Would other types of fae be able to tell that he was spending time with a selkie? 

He hadn’t missed that Kili mentioned selkies don’t mate for life.  That fell in line with all the lore he’d read.  The legends said selkies would spend a night, maybe two, before leaving.  Unless someone stole their pelt and held it hostage, anyway. 

Fili shook his head.  He wasn’t looking for a lifetime partner right now, but he wouldn’t turn it away if it happened.  He couldn’t imagine forcing Kili to stay with him by hiding his pelt.  What sort of relationship would it be if one person was forced to stay in it?  Not a relationship he wanted any part of, that was certain. 

He finished his water and rinsed his glass out, leaving it on the rack to dry.  He could worry about fairies and lore later.  Right now he had a selkie waiting on him.  He headed to his room to change into swim trunks.  Not everyone was as comfortable with public displays of nudity as Kili. 


	53. Chapter 53

Kili was out far enough to be a dark dot in the water.  Fili wasn’t comfortable going out that far, so he sat on the bottom step.  He drew patterns in the sand with his toes and watched the clouds gather on the horizon while he waited. 

It wasn’t long before Kili came back, dripping water and out of breath.  He threw himself down on the sand at Fili’s feet with a sigh, leaned back on his arms, and closed his eyes. 

“Did you have a nice swim?”  Fili let his eyes wander over Kili’s lithe form.  He looked like he should be on a photoshoot, with his wet hair trailing across his shoulders and dotted with sand. 

Kili opened his eyes and caught Fili looking.  He grinned, but then mock pouted when he said, “It would have been better with company.”

Fili ignored his blush and kept eye contact as he said, “You’re a better swimmer than I am.  I couldn’t go out that far.  How’s your leg?”

“Not bad, but it’s still tender.”  Kili stretched out the leg in question.  It looked like it had healed more while he’d been swimming.  “Do you think dinner’s ready yet?”

Fili nodded, and they went inside.  While Kili showered and got dressed, Fili set the table.  Kili had seconds of everything and a heaping bowl of ice cream for dessert. 

While they were cleaning up, Fili remembered, “I still owe you brownies with ice cream.  Do you want to go to the store tomorrow?  We can make a day of it and see if anything exciting is happening.  Or we could go to a movie, if you like.”

“If you want.”  The tone was agreeable enough, but Kili had a line between his eyebrows that suggested he wasn’t happy with the idea. 

Fili wiped his hands on a towel and stepped up to Kili, pulling him close.  He let his hands rest on Kili’s hips as he explained, “You don’t have to go.  You can stay here if you want.  I can run to town and pick up what we need.  I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable doing, okay?”

The line didn’t go away as Kili searched Fili’s face.  After a long moment, he nodded and dipped his head.  He sought Fili’s mouth for a kiss before pressing their foreheads together and whispering, “I’d rather not go into town.”

“Then you don’t have to,” Fili assured him. 

That finally made Kili’s brow smooth out.  He smiled and said, “Thank you.” 

“You can help me make a list, though.  I can pick up anything you might need.”

“I have something I need right now.”

“What is it?”

Kili rocked his hips forward against Fili.  “You.”

Fili laughed at that.  “In that case, I’m happy to oblige.”

Kili leaned down to mouth at Fili’s neck while sliding his hands down to cup Fili’s ass.  He murmured into the crook of Fili’s neck, “Come to bed with me?”

“Yes.”  Fili twined his fingers into Kili’s hair and pulled him up for another kiss.  It was lazy and languid, and Fili melted into it.  When they broke apart, they were both breathless.  He leaned against Kili for a moment before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. 

Kili was already shucking out of his clothes when they crossed the threshold.  It made Fili grin to see him so eager, and he pulled his own clothes off too.  He kicked his shorts away and looked up in time for Kili to catch his mouth in a kiss again.  Fili walked backwards, pulling Kili with him and not breaking the kiss until the backs of his knees hit the bed.  He tumbled back with a laugh and Kili leaned to grab the lube and condoms from the drawer.  He paused to admire Fili sprawled naked on the bed, got a wicked grin, and pounced on Fili with a growl.  Fili snickered at him. 

“What?”  Kili raised to all fours and hovered over Fili.  With mock affront he said, “I’ll have you know that I am quite a ferocious predator.”

Fili rolled his eyes.  “Right.”

“I am, too.”  Kili bared his teeth and growled again. 

Less than impressed, Fili cocked a knee, bumped the inside of Kili’s elbow to throw him off balance, and flipped their positions.  Smiling at Kili’s surprised expression, he said, “I’ve seen you, remember?  A seal may be a predator in the water, but I doubt you’re going to be chasing down a gazelle anytime soon.”

A look flitted across Kili’s face, making him lose his smile.  Before Fili could determine what it was about, the look passed and Kili smiled again.  “All I have to do is be faster than a hamburger on land.  I think I’ll manage.”

With that, Kili reached between their bodies and wrapped his hand around Fili’s cock. 

Whatever retort Fili was going to make fled as he sucked a hissing breath between his teeth.  He let his head drop forward to rest against Kili’s sternum. 

Kili groped around on the bed with his free hand until he found the little bottle of lube.  He nudged Fili and held it up with a question in his eyes. 

Fili nodded, and walked up on his knees so he was straddling Kili’s waist.  Kili kept stroking Fili’s cock with one hand, and traced around his entrance with the slick fingers of the other.  Fili kissed him, lightly biting Kili’s bottom lip when a finger breached him.  Kili took charge and turned the kiss into something forceful with teeth. 

“Another,” Fili whispered against Kili’s mouth. 

Craning his neck to capture Fili’s mouth once more, Kili did as suggested.  The angle was awkward, and it wasn’t hitting anywhere near Fili wanted, but he rocked back against Kili’s hand anyway.  He wanted to be done with the foreplay.  Kili must have felt the same way because he added another finger.  Fili inhaled against the burn. 

“Sorry,” Kili murmured, starting to pull his hand away. 

“No, it’s okay.”  Fili rocked back again when Kili didn’t look convinced.  “Please.”

That did it.  The look on Kili’s face changed from uncertainty to hunger.  He kept working his fingers inside Fili, but used his other hand to pat at the bed. 

“Looking for this?”  Fili reached to the other side of Kili and found the condom.  He held it up between two fingers and grinned. 

Kili rolled his eyes and reached for it, but Fili held it out of reach.  In retaliation, Kili did something with his fingers that made Fili gasp.  Kili chuckled and it was Fili’s turn for eye-rolling. 

With a bit of urging and a few adjustments, Kili withdraw his fingers and Fili was able to put the condom on him.  He used the remains of the lube on his hand to further slick up while Fili shuffled around on his knees. 

“Do you want me to…?”  Kili waved a hand around.

“Stay where you are.”  Fili finally got the angle he wanted and lowered down on to Kili’s cock.  He watched Kili’s face until it breached him, and then he closed his eyes.  He’d been too impatient and it stung, but he didn’t want Kili to see it on his face.  He leaned forward and braced on Kili’s chest for balance.  Once he bottomed out he stopped to breathe and get used to the sensation of being so full.

Kili was hot, as always, so much warmer than a human would be, searing under him and inside.  Kili ran his hands up the outside of Fili’s thighs, leaving a warm trail.  Fili could feel Kili’s heartbeat under his palm and where they were joined, matching the pounding of his own heart.  After relishing the sensation for a moment more, Fili began to move. 

He kept his pace slow, even when Kili moaned and grabbed his hips to urge him on.  Kili eased his grip until he was just holding, and began to rock up to meet him.  Fili straightened up, changing the angle and the next thrust made him gasp and throw his head back.  He rolled his hips, grinding down on Kili’s cock, and leaned back a little farther.  His hair felt cool where it trailed down his back, in stark contrast to the heat of the body under him. 

“Good?”  Kili’s voice sounded strained and he was beginning to breathe harder. 

Fili nodded and said, “Yeah.  Just like that.”

Kili made a noise deep in his throat and let go of Fili’s hips.  He took Fili’s hands and laced their fingers together.  He kept to the pace Fili set, but pulled his legs up for leverage to thrust up harder. 

Fili cried out and bit his bottom lip.  It didn’t stop the little whimpers he made every time Kili pushed up into him.  He let his head fall forward and tightened his hold on Kili’s fingers.  When he opened his eyes, he met Kili’s gaze. 

The moon had risen, and a beam was coming through the window and highlighting half of Kili’s face, leaving the other half in shadow.  His lips were parted, but the moonlight washed some of the color from them.  He had that fey look, the one that made him seem other, not quite human. 

Fili wondered if there was some sort of magic in this, too.  He could believe it.  It was easy to believe in magic with the feel of the strong body underneath him and the moon bathing them both in light. 

“You’re beautiful,” Fili murmured. 

Kili’s eyes flared wider for a brief moment before he squeezed them shut.  His hands convulsed in Fili’s, he threw his head back against the pillow, and came with a groan.  Even through the condom, Fili could feel the scalding heat of it. 

It caught Fili off guard, but he didn’t stop until Kili twisted his hands free and put on one his leg.  Before he could say anything, a warm hand wrapped around his cock.  He was already close, so it took almost no time at all for him to find release. 

Fili eased off of Kili before flopping over to the side.  Kili got up and went to the bathroom, coming back with a damp washcloth.  He offered it to Fili before giving his chest a cursory wipe.  After tossing it into the bathroom sink, he came back to bed. 

“That was fun.  Thank you.”  Kili rolled over to lie on his side, facing Fili. 

With a snort, Fili told him, “My pleasure, literally.”

That made Kili grin.  He smoothed a hand over Fili’s hip and asked, “Do we have any ice cream left?”

Fili groaned theatrically and stuck his head under a pillow.  “No ice cream.  Sleep time.”

Kili whined, but Fili ignored it.  Kili trailed his fingers up, across Fili’s ribs.  Fili flinched and peeked out from under the pillow with a death glare. 

Kili raised his hands in surrender.  “I can get some and bring it back to bed.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”  Fili unburied his head and got comfortable. 

After giving Fili a peck on the forehead, Kili got up and wandered into the kitchen.  Fili enjoyed the view, happy about Kili’s nudist tendencies.  He could hear Kili opening cupboards and rummaging around.  He closed his eyes, just to rest them for a second before Kili came back.  He dozed off with a smile on his face before the freezer door shut.

 


	54. Chapter 54

“Having company?”

The voice jolted Fili out of his daydreaming and he looked up.  The clerk was looking at him expectantly, even as she kept scanning the items lined up on the belt.  She must have been talking to him.  “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I was wondering if you were having company again.  Your friend mentioned something about it last time.  He didn’t come with you today?”  She paused to rescan something that wouldn’t read.

“No, he’s at home.”  Saying that brought conflicting feelings of warmth and worry.  Warmth in Fili’s chest, knowing that Kili was at home and waiting for him to come back.  Worry because, while he trusted Kili, Fili hoped that he didn’t accidentally burn the house down, or hurt himself somehow.   

He was probably worried about nothing.  When he woke up that morning, Kili was making tea and nibbling on a leftover muffin.  Fili joined him in the kitchen, and between laughter and stolen kisses, they made a list together.  Before he left, he made sure Kili had everything he might need for the next few hours.  Kili was fine.  He kept reminding himself of that as he left the store, loaded the groceries into the car, and all the way home. 

The tight knot of anxiety in his chest didn’t ease until he pulled in and saw the house was still standing.  It melted away completely when Kili came down the stairs to help with the groceries.  Fili watched him approach.  He was still pale and underweight, but looked better.  His leg didn’t seem to be bothering him at all. 

“You came back.”  Kili bounced on his toes with a smile. 

“Yep.”  Fili opened the trunk and turned to steal a kiss before grabbing a few bags.  “And I brought more ice cream.”

That stretched Kili’s smile into a grin.  “And brownies?”

After a brief search, Fili held up a box.  “Double chocolate fudge with chocolate chunks, and there’s chocolate frosting to go on them.  There’s also a jar of hot fudge for the ice cream somewhere, too.”

Kili took the box with another excited bounce on his toes.  He gave Fili a peck on the cheek before dropping the box back into a bag and loading his arms with groceries.  “We can make them tonight, right?”

“Right.”  Fili shut the trunk and trailed behind Kili.  Under his breath he muttered, “I hope selkies can’t get diabetes.” 

Oblivious, Kili asked, “What are we doing for supper?”

Supper turned out to be steaks, baked potatoes, and corn on the cob.  Afterwards, they made the brownies and made sundaes to go with them.  Fili offered more to Kili, but Kili shook his head. 

“If I eat anything else, I’ll burst.”  Kili pushed his stomach out and patted the lump.  He was smiling, but still pale and the circles were back under his eyes. 

Fili didn’t like the way he looked.  “Why don’t you go rest?  I’ll take care of the cleaning up.”

It was a testament to how Kili felt when, instead of arguing, he nodded and went to the couch.  By the time Fili put away the leftovers and did the dishes, Kili was asleep. 

Fili sat on the edge of the couch and smoothed Kili’s hair back out of his face.  When Kili opened his eyes and gave him a bleary look, Fili told him, “Why don’t you go to bed?  I’ll join you in a minute.”

Kili nodded and got up with a grunt.  He staggered off to the bedroom and Fili followed.  Once Kili was tucked in, Fili went back to the living room and his desk.  He looked on his computer, trying to see if he could find a small freezer, and replied to Bard’s email.  He did a couple of sketches before he started to yawn. 

When he returned to the bedroom, Kili was curled into a ball on the edge of the bed, fast asleep.  Fili joined him, and with a bit of poking and prodding Kili was no longer in danger of falling on the floor.  Fili pushed the blankets away.  Kili’s body heat was more than enough to keep him warm.  He snuggled closer, dropped a kiss on the back of Kili’s head, and went to sleep. 

 


	55. Chapter 55

The chill woke Fili up.  When he went to bed, he’d kicked the blankets away because Kili was so warm.  Now his bed was empty, the blankets were on the floor, and he was cold. 

“Kili?” Fili mumbled and opened his eyes.  Kili was nowhere to be seen, and there was no noise coming from the kitchen. 

Fili sat up and ran a hand over his face.  Last time this happened, Kili had gone off and gotten hurt.  He hoped that wherever Kili was, it was safe. 

He got out of bed and went to the kitchen.  As he passed the window, something caught his eye.  On a second glance, it turned out to be Kili, sitting on the steps.  He was hunched over with his arms wrapped around his knees, staring out to sea.  There wasn’t much to look at, with a light fog obscuring the view and making the sun seem small and soft, but he was looking anyway.

A relieved smile spread across Fili’s face.  He was happy to see Kili was still there.  He decided to see what Kili wanted for breakfast, and went out to ask. 

Kili didn’t react to the door opening behind him.  He was still looking out over the water when Fili joined him to sit on the steps.  He still had tired circles under his eyes, and the look on his face was of pure misery. 

The inquiry about breakfast died on Fili’s lips when he saw Kili’s face.  Instead, he asked, “Kili?  What’s wrong?”

Kili started rattling something off in a language Fili couldn’t hope to decipher. 

“English, Kee.  I can’t understand that.”

Kili huffed, then slid down a couple of steps.  He turned around and buried his face in Fili’s lap before he said anything else.  “I think I love you.”

Fili’s heart leaped in his chest.  He smiled and rested a hand on Kili’s hair. 

Before he could say anything, Kili went on.  His accent seemed thicker when he said, “I think I love you, and I’ve been trying, but I can’t do this.”

The smile faded and Fili asked, “Do what?”

“I’m not human.  I can’t be, all of the time.  I’ve tried but I just can’t.  It hurts to see the water and not be able to swim.  I can’t do it.  I’ll come back, I promise.  I swear it.  Please don’t make me stay human.”  Kili shook his head against Fili’s legs.

Fili had heard the phrase about blood running cold, but he didn’t get it until now.  Every word out of Kili’s mouth chilled him until his hands and feet were ice.  He pulled his hand back and his lips felt numb when he said, “I’m not making you stay anything.”

Kili raised his head.  Tears glittered in his lashes as he gave Fili a look of animosity.  “It’s a bad idea to lie to the fae.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Then why did you lock away my pelt?”  Kili turned away and pulled his knees up to his chest again.

“I didn’t.”  Fili flinched when Kili gave him a bitter look, but went on.  “The shed is yours, Kili.  I didn’t lock away anything.”

“If it’s mine, where are the keys?”

Fili wracked his brain.  Hadn’t he told Kili about the keys?  Kili knew his pelt was in the shed, so he’d obviously mentioned it.  He couldn’t remember telling Kili where the keys were, though.  Had he been forcing Kili to stay there with him this entire time?  He felt sick.  He murmured, “I’m sorry.”

Kili didn’t reply, instead he narrowed his eyes. 

Apologies were useless without corrective measures to back them up.  Fili squeezed his eyes closed against the sting of tears and said, “The keys are on the table by the door, in the basket with the shells.”

He didn’t open his eyes, but he heard Kili moving and then the squeak of the door.  He didn’t open his eyes when he heard Kili leave the house and run past him down the stairs.  He didn’t open his eyes when he heard Kili throw the shed door open so violently it smacked into the side of the shed.  He didn’t open his eyes when a tear escaped and tracked down the side of his nose. 

When he finally opened his eyes, there was nothing but the sound of the waves.  The shed door was wide open, and the keys were dangling from the lock.  Kili’s shorts were on the ground halfway between the shed and the water.  There was nothing else on the beach. 

Kili was gone.

 


	56. Chapter 56

Fili sat on the steps, looking out at the ocean but not seeing anything.  He wasn’t sure how long he was there before the sun burned away the light fog, but the reflection off the water was blinding.  When he stood up, he was stiff from sitting in one spot for so long. 

He hobbled down the steps, but the stiffness worked out by the time he crossed the sand.  He picked up Kili’s shorts and carried them with him as he shut the door to the shed.  He stood there staring at the door, worrying at the shorts in his hands and unable to decide what to do with the keys. 

“Fuck it,” he muttered.  He locked the door so it wouldn’t get blown open, but left the keys in the lock.  It wasn’t like there was anything in there now, anyway.  If Kili came back, then he could decide what to do with the keys. 

He trudged back to the house and up the steps.  Once inside, he tossed the shorts into the pile of dirty clothes by the washing machine.  Then he stood there, staring blankly at the clothes. 

The chill that had settled on him while Kili was demanding his pelt was still there.  Everything was numb, and he couldn’t think straight.  There was something he should do, but he couldn’t remember what.  It must not be that important. 

He sighed and returned to bed.  He only laid down for a few seconds before he huffed and got up.  He stripped the sheets off of the bed and carried them to the laundry.  He threw them into the washing machine and started it up, and that triggered his memory. 

After locating his phone, he sent a text to Dori.  _Sorry for late notice, but I have to cancel tomorrow. I don’t feel well._

The answer came within a few seconds.  _Are you ok? Need anything? I can send Nori with soup._

It made Fili feel bad.  He wasn’t lying.  He didn’t feel well at all.  It just wasn’t the type of thing that could be fixed with soup.  _I’m good, thx._

_Let me know if you need anything. Check in w/me in a cpl of days._  

Fili didn’t bother answering that.  He dropped his phone on the kitchen table and went to sit on the couch.  He used the remote to turn on the television and flipped through the channel line up a few times.  He couldn’t concentrate on anything though, so he ended up leaving it on some old black and white movie.  He turned the volume down until the movie was just a companionable murmur. 

When the washing machine finished, the got up, stuck the load in the dryer, and returned to the couch.  He didn’t bother to pretend to watch the movie this time.  He laid down facing the back of the couch, stuck a pillow over his head, and went to sleep.  The disaster his life had become would still be waiting when he woke up.


	57. Chapter 57

The sun was shining brightly when Fili woke up.  He laid on the couch, confused for a few minutes, listening to the gulls call outside.  The confrontation with Kili came crashing back into his memory along with the realization that he had slept away the day and through the night.  It was the next morning.  Not early morning either, judging by the quality of the light.  He sat up and glanced at the clock.  Yeah, it was almost lunchtime. 

He scrubbed a hand over his face with a sigh.  He felt almost like he had a hangover.  It was probably from the emotional turmoil, topped off with way too much sleep.  He got up and shuffled to the shower. 

The hot water helped loosen his aching muscles, and getting clean made him feel better.  He felt almost human after he got dressed.  He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before he returned to the couch.  A notification on his phone showed he had missed a call.  He hit the button to call back and waited while it rang. 

“Tilda made the junior cheerleading team!”  Bard didn’t bother with saying hello. 

His excitement made Fili grin.  “That’s great!  Is she happy about it?”

Bard’s rich laugh came rolling from the phone.  “You could say that.  She’s outside practicing now.”

“She isn’t at school?”  A quick glance told Fili that it was Saturday.  “I guess not.”

“Are you okay?  You sound kind of out of it.”  Bard’s tone changed from happy to concerned. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.  I just overslept.” 

“Are you sure?  You don’t sound fine.”

Fili rolled his eyes.  He should know better than to try to lie to Bard.  They’ve known each other for too long for it to work.  “I don’t want to talk about it right now.  That’s all.”

“If you say so.”  Bard sounded dubious, but he let it go and changed the subject.  “Did I tell you about the hot single mom in the cheerleading camp?”

Fili’s eyebrows shot up.  “No, you didn’t.  Did you talk to her yet?”

“We’ve spoken a few times.  I’m trying to gather the courage to ask her out for a coffee or something.  People still go out for coffee, right?  That’s an adult date thing?”

“You could always invite her over for Netflix and chill,” Fili teased.

“Yeah, I don't think so.  I’m not completely out of touch.  I know what that means,” Bard said with a huff.

“Just ask her out for a drink or something.  I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Bard sighed.  “I don’t know if I can do this.  I still miss her so much.”

Fili didn’t need to ask who Bard meant.  There was only one ‘her’ in his life that had mattered.  He nodded and said, “Yeah, I know.”

“When Tilda made the team, my first thought was ‘I have to tell Molly.’  And then I remembered that she’s dead, and it was like losing her all over again.  I don’t think I’ve ever been lonelier than at that moment.  I know everyone says it will get better with time, but how much time should it take to quit hurting?”  Bard sniffled. 

“There’s not a deadline.  It takes as much time as you need.  Maybe you should go back to the grief counselor.” 

Bard sniffled again and said, “I’ll think about it.”

“Why don’t I come and visit for a few days?  I’ll keep an eye on the kids, you can go Netflix and chill with the hot mom, maybe we can take the kids out somewhere and do something fun,” Fili offered. 

“What happened to the luxurious lifestyle of a beach bum?”  Bard didn’t sound completely cheerful, but he was trying. 

“I’m starting to think that being a beach bum might not be right for me.”  Now it was Fili’s turn to sound depressed. 

“Does this have anything to do with Kili?”

Fili flinched, startled by Bard’s accurate guess.  “How did you know that?”

“Because you said you don’t want to talk about it, and you haven’t mentioned him once.” 

“Oh.  Yeah, it does, but I still don’t want to talk about it.  It’s sort of raw.  Give me time to process things and I’ll tell you about it.”  Or at least he’d tell Bard what he could without talking about selkies or fairies.  Bard would think he’d lost his mind.  

“Fair enough.  You know you’re always welcome here any time you want to come visit.” 

“That goes for you and the kids, too.  You can come out here anytime.  Make it a little vacation.”

Two of the kids started arguing in the background, and Bard sighed.  “That’s my cue.  I need to go.  I’ll give you a call tomorrow?”

“Sure.  Talk to you then.”

After they hung up, Fili stared at the phone, lost in thought.  Maybe he should sell the beach house and move somewhere else.  He still loved the ocean, but he didn’t know if this was the best place for him.  It might be too painful to stay, if Kili never forgave him and came back. 

Maybe he should move somewhere in the mountains.  A nice secluded cabin, surrounded by nature, learning how to ski in the winter, all of that sounded sort of appealing.  Well, until you factored in being buried in snow.  If he had to be wet, he’d choose to be wet and warm instead of cold any day.  Not to mention that with his luck, he’d probably run into a yeti.  No thanks. 

His problem was having too much spare time.  Just because he didn’t need to work for financial reasons didn’t mean he didn’t need some sort of purpose in life.  He could always find a part time job, or maybe go back to college.  He could possibly make new friends, too.  Normal friends with normal lives, people who didn’t turn into a seal or anything else. 

He stood and crossed the room, stopping to stare out of the window.  He frowned and crossed his arms with a sigh.  The day was beautiful, the sun reflecting off the waves in sharp, bright glints.  There was a pelican floating not too far from shore while little sandpipers ran up and down the beach, dodging waves and looking for food.  The water was a soft blue today, turning to creamy seafoam where the waves were breaking.  It was like a picture out of a magazine.  All it needed was a couple of surfers, some women in bikinis, and a bonfire, and it could be a travel ad.  And Fili had no desire to go out and be a part of it. 

It was stupid to feel lonely.  He’d paid for the solitude, after all.  He went out of his way to find a house away from others, with a private beach and enough surrounding land to not have to worry about loud or noisy neighbors.  He’d gotten exactly what he wanted.  Now he knew what it meant when people said to be careful what you wish for. 


	58. Chapter 58

Fili got on his computer and pulled up the help wanted section of the local newspaper.  He browsed around, looking to see if anything interesting caught his eye.  Most of the jobs were for the service industry, though.  The thought of taking one of those jobs when someone else might need it soured him on the idea.  He didn’t need a paycheck, while for someone else it might be the difference between eating and going hungry. 

He changed tactics and brought up the site for the local community college.  There were some classes that appealed to him, but the next semester didn’t start for a few weeks.  If he had to sit here and stare at the walls for a few weeks, he’d go crazy.  He went ahead and filled out the application anyway.  His parents had always believed that there was no such thing as too much education.  It certainly couldn’t hurt. 

While he was on the computer, he shopped around a bit.  He ordered a couple of new lenses for his camera, and decided to get a telescope.  Maybe he could see ships going by, or something else interesting.  With that thought, he flipped back to the college site.  They offered an astronomy class for beginners so he bookmarked it. 

Looking at local events showed a few things coming soon.  There was a free movie night at a park once a month, and occasionally free concerts.  Being able to go and maybe meet some of his neighbors sounded like it could be fun.  It was worth a shot, anyway.

Fili sighed and looked out the window.  It was another picture perfect day, and he was sitting inside on the computer.  Enough was enough. 

He rose and changed into a pair of swim shorts.  After grabbing a towel, he headed out and down the stairs.  He dropped the towel on the sand, far enough away from the high tide mark that it wouldn’t get caught by a wave, and waded into the water.  He stopped there, with the waves lapping at his ankles, put his hands on his hips and raised his face to the sun.  It was so bright and warm that the rays almost felt as if they had weight. 

If there was in between magic here right now, it wasn’t the gentle sort that floated on the moonlight.  This was a type of magic that could break boulders and tear mountains down to rubble.  It was a magic that could kill plants just as easily as it could force them to grow.  If someone could harness this in between magic, they would be powerful indeed.

Or maybe it was all in his imagination.  He was no selkie or fairy, to be sensitive to nature’s magic and find it in between places.  He snorted at himself before running out deeper.  He dove under a breaking wave to wash away all the nonsense floating around his brain. 

He wanted Kili to come back, if only so he could have the chance to explain his side of the story.  He wanted Kili to know he didn’t intentionally hide his pelt.  He didn’t know when that would happen, if ever.  He was no sailor’s widow, content to spend the rest of his life walking on his deck, looking out to sea and waiting for his love to return.  It would drive him mad. 

He broke the surface of the water and flipped his hair back out of his face.  It felt like a baptism of sorts, washing away his doubts and making him feel lighter.  He moved here to find a new life, but he’s been in stasis since then.  It was time to get on with it. 

 


	59. Chapter 59

“Sorry about cancelling on you the other day,” Fili said as he filled up the teapot from the faucet. 

“That’s quite all right.  How are you feeling?”  Dori arranged cookies on a plate. 

“Fine.”  Fili didn’t want to clarify that he wasn’t physically sick.  Heartsick should count, anyway.  He changed the subject.  “I was hoping you’d be able to help me with something, though.”

Dori looked up.  “I’ll try.  What do you need?”

“Something to do.”

Dori raised an eyebrow at that before sitting down at the table.  He pointed to the chair across from him.  As Fili sat down he asked, “What do you mean?”

“I can’t just sit out here in this house, alone and with nothing to do.  It isn’t healthy and it’s going to drive me crazy.  I need to be able to do something with my life,” Fili explained.  He dragged a hand through his hair and tugged on it. 

Tapping his fingers on the table, Dori thought for a second.  “Are you looking for a job?”

“Not really.  I looked through the want ads, but I can afford to not have a job.  I don’t want to take a job that someone else might need.”

Dori’s eyes were kind as he looked at Fili.  “In that case, maybe you should talk to Nori.”

Fili nodded and stole a cookie from the plate before going out on the deck.

Nori was squatting next to Ori in the sand, both of them looking intently at a clump of seaweed.  Ori was explaining something while Nori nodded.  Ori pointed to something, stood up, and stomped on the seaweed.  Nori stepped back, making a disgusted noise.  Ori’s laughter rang out over the sound of the surf as he danced back out of the reach of Nori’s grabbing hands. 

When Fili walked up, Nori said, “Here, show him.”

Ori gave him a big grin and gestured to the seaweed in front of him.  “Look.”

Fili stepped closer and saw something round attached to the seaweed.  It was a yellowish green, glistening in the sunlight and looked like some sort of alien egg.   He bent down for a better look.  “What is that?”

Ori stomped on the egg thing.  Its yellow innards spurted out of the end and sprayed across the sand. 

“Gah!”  Fili jumped back with a grimace.  “What the hell is that thing?  Did you kill it?”

Between giggles, Ori explained, “It’s a kelp pod.  They use them to reproduce.  It isn’t alive any more than any other plant.”

“Gross.”  Fili bent back down to inspect it again.  “But also kind of cool.”

Ori shot Nori a triumphant grin. 

“Nah, man, that’s just gross,” Nori told him.

Ori stuck his tongue out and squished another pod.  Fili found one and instead of stomping like Ori, he slowly stepped on it, applying pressure until it ruptured.  The insides dribbled onto the sand.

Nori wrinkled his nose.  “Ugh.”

“It looks like something from a horror movie,” Fili observed. 

“Well, when the giant alien kelp monster eats you because you smashed its babies, don’t come crying to me,” Nori said. 

“Duly noted.”  Fili left the rest of the pods to Ori and told Nori, “Actually, I was hoping you could help me.”

Nori picked up the rake from where it was resting on the sand.  “Sure, shoot.”

Fili explained, “I asked Dori if he knew of any places to volunteer around here.  I need to do something besides sit here and stare at the waves all day.  He thinks you can help.”

Leaning on the rake, Nori asked, “Anything specific you have in mind?  There’s an animal shelter that can always use people.”

“Oh no.  I’d wind up with all the animals here.  No animal shelter.”

“Got it.  Do you mind outdoor work?  Getting dirty?”

“I don’t care.  Just no animal shelter.”

“When do you want to start?  I’m going someplace the day after tomorrow.  If you want, you can meet me at my place and ride along.  See if you like it and if it’s some place you want to commit,” Nori offered. 

“That sounds great.”

After hammering out the details with Nori, with a pause to admire a shell Ori wanted to show them, Fili headed back to the house to start the grill. 

 


	60. Chapter 60

Fili showed up bright and early, as promised.  It was a relief to get away from his house for a while.  It was too quiet and he kept catching himself watching out the window.  Staring at the beach wasn’t going to make Kili come back to him, and it was going to make him crazy if he didn't stop. 

This was the first time he’d been to Dori’s house.  He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but this sprawling ranch style home suited them.  The yard was meticulously landscaped, with beautiful trees shading a colorful riot of flowerbeds and bushes.  There was a big wraparound porch with a wooden swing.  Nori was perched on the swing, a paper bag beside him.  He waved and grabbed the bag, walking out to meet Fili. 

Fili parked and got out of his car.  “Morning.  Was I supposed to bring something?”

“Nah.”  Nori gestured with the bag.  “Dori packed us a lunch and a couple of snacks.  You know how he is.  God forbid someone might be hungry.”

“Are we taking my car or yours?”

“About that.  Do you want to follow me?  That way you don’t have to be seen riding around with the local ex-con.” 

Fili frowned.  “Do I really seem like the type that cares?”

Nori shrugged.  “Some people do.”

“Some people need to mind their own business.  Besides, it’s a waste of gas.”

Nori’s voice didn’t change but the set of his shoulders loosened.  “We can take mine, then.”

Nori’s truck was older, but lovingly maintained.  The ride was quiet and smooth, and Fili took the chance to look around and watch as the scenery rolled past. 

“Do you know your way around a hammer?” Nori asked.

Fili blinked at the unexpected question.  “I guess so.  Why?”

“We’re going to be working on a house.”

“I don’t know about that sort of thing.  I mean, I can hang a picture on the wall, but not much else.” 

“That’s okay.  We have someone on the crew who knows all about it, and he tells us what to do.”

Fili couldn’t help but worry, though.  “I just don’t want to be useless.”

Nori glanced at Fili and looked back at the road.  He had a smirk when he said, “Trust me, we can find something for you to do.  Even if it’s just pushing a broom, you’ll be busy.”

***

Eight hours later, Fili sat on the lowered tailgate of Nori’s truck with a groan.  “I hurt in muscles I didn’t even know I had.”

Nori offered him a bottle of water and laughed.  “Better than paying for a gym membership, huh?”

Fili took the water and drained half the bottle in three gulps.  After he caught his breath, he leaned back on one arm and nodded. 

They had been working on the home of an elderly woman who had a pipe burst.  She was too old to repair the water damage herself, and couldn’t afford to hire someone while living on a fixed income.  They had replaced flooring and carpet, rebuilt two walls, and did a lot of cleaning up.  While they were there, they also trimmed a tree where a branch was threatening to break and take down her fence, fix the garage door, and helped her trim her shrubbery. 

It had been a full day and Fili was worn out.  It was a good sort of exhaustion though, the kind you can only get from a physically demanding day of hard work and the satisfaction of a job well done.  Now he was looking forward to going home, taking a shower, and a well-deserved night of relaxing.

Nori hopped up to join Fili on the tailgate.  “Are you coming along next time?”

“Tomorrow?”  Fili hated to admit it, but he might not be up to any strenuous labor tomorrow.  He was going to be sore. 

“Nah.  We only do this once a week.”

Fili felt a mix of relief and disappointment.  Relief because it would give him a chance to recover.  Disappointment because he was hoping for something to keep him occupied more than one day a week.  Nevertheless, he nodded.   "Yeah, count me in."

 


	61. Chapter 61

His phone rang.  Fili didn’t recognize the number, but answered it anyway.  “Hello?”

Nori’s voice came through the speaker.  Without preamble, he asked, “Are you still looking for stuff to do?”

“I guess so.  Yes.”  Fili was a little taken aback by the bluntness, but it wasn't like he had any plans.

“I know this is short notice, but we’ve had two people call in sick and things are insane.  We could use some help if you’re up to it.”

“Sure.  What do you need?”

“Just an extra pair of hands.”  Nori spoke to someone else, “He can come.”  There was the sound of a ragged cheer in the background. 

“I’m on the way.”

***

Fili followed the directions Nori had texted him, and wound up in front of a building with a sign declaring it to be the Mission Meal Center.  He circled around the building to park in the back and went to the open door.  He stepped inside and stopped, not wanting to get in the way. 

“Fili!”  Nori stood by a long steel table, waving.  Fili skirted around a stack of empty cartons to join him. 

“Thanks for coming so soon.  We’re running late and the doors open for lunch in an hour.  I have to have these box lunches ready to go first, though.  I leave in thirty minutes.”  Nori never stopped working as he spoke, spooning chocolate pudding into cups, topping them with a dab of whipped cream, and then putting a lid on them. 

“What do you need me to do?”  Fili looked around.  There were two other men at work by the large stove, checking on bubbling pots and on something in the oven.  There were boxes of canned goods waiting to be put away and the freezer door was open.  Everyone looked harried, but they were getting things done.

Nori tilted his head towards a shelf.  “There’s gloves over there.  Grab some and start portioning potato salad for me.” 

By the time Fili gathered the gloves, potato salad, and the small Styrofoam bowls and lids, Nori had finished with the pudding.  Fili set up on the opposite side of the table and got to work, using an ice cream scoop to measure out portions.  Nori was tucking the pudding cups into small boxes, all the while giving Fili directions.  When that was done, he started wrapping sandwiches in plastic. 

“Where are you going?” Fili asked.  When Nori shot him a questioning look, he clarified, “You said you had to leave.  Where are you going?”

“Oh.  I have to take the lunches out for delivery to people who can’t come to the center for whatever reason.  Mostly it’s elderly people, but we have some folks who are working.  There’s one lady on bed rest, too,” Nori explained.  The sandwiches started to join the pudding cups in the boxes. 

Fili looked around at the brightly lit space.  “I thought you said this was a soup kitchen?  I was expecting something smaller.”

Nori smiled at that.  “Soup kitchen, food pantry, and a meals on wheels type of thing too.  There’s also a clothes closet, but it’s housed in a different building.”

“Behind you,” someone said. 

Fili leaned forward against the table as a man hurried past carrying two trays of rolls fresh from the oven.  It seemed like old habits from his days working in a restaurant were hard to break. 

The man slotted the trays into a cooling rack and turned back.  He smiled and said, “You must be Fili.”

“Sorry, yeah.  And that’s Bofur,” Nori said as he helped put the lids on the potato salad. 

“Nice to meet you.  Thanks for coming to help out,” Bofur told Fili. 

“No problem.  I needed to get out of the house and find something to do, anyway.”  Fili was trying to keep up with Nori, but was falling behind in his potato salad scooping. 

“Oh, don’t say something like that.  We always have work for you if you get too bored.”  With that Bofur headed back to the stove. 

They worked in silence for a few minutes.  Fili kept scooping out the potato salad and dropping it into the cups, while Nori came behind him, putting lids on the cups and sticking them into the boxes. 

“How did you find all this?  The home repairs, soup kitchen, the volunteering stuff?  What got you started in it?” Fili asked. 

Nori quirked a corner of his mouth, somewhere between a smile and a smirk.  “I started because it was a condition of my parole.  Get a job, have a permanent home, do volunteer work, and stay out of trouble.  After my parole was up I just kept on doing it.  Turns out I like helping.”

Fili nodded.  He understood the urge to feel useful, and being able to help people made him feel better too.  It beat sitting at home and staring at the walls. 

The potato salad was gone, and they folded the boxes closed and stacked them in the empty crates.  Fili helped load them into Nori’s truck and returned to the kitchen.  After he cleaned up his work space, he hunted down Bofur and found him in the freezer. 

“What else needs to be done?” 

Bofur turned and gave him a wide smile.  “How do you feel about cooking?”

***

Five hours, a busy lunch, and several loads of dishes later, Fili was pulling into his driveway.  He was tired and worn out, but smiling.  His name was on the schedule to work at the food center again tomorrow, and he was supposed to bake cookies.  After that, he was going to sit down with Bofur and see about being on the roster for a trial period.  He didn’t anticipate any problems and was looking forward to it.  He’d enjoyed his day, even as hectic as it had gotten when the doors opened for lunch. 

He’d picked up a burger on the way home, and collected it from the passenger seat after he parked.  He whistled as he walked to the stairs, but the tune died on his lips when he got closer. 

There was a shell on the third step up.  It looked like it might have belonged to a snail, pale yellow with a streak of dark brown curling around it. 

Fili stopped and stared at the shell for a second.  There was no possibility a snail was hanging around a beach surrounded by salt water.  There was only one way the shell would have gotten on his steps like that.  Someone put it there. 

Looking up and down the beach didn’t show anyone lurking around.  Nevertheless, he said, “Kili?”

No reply, of course.  No one was there. 

He pursed his lips and contemplated leaving the shell where it was.  He was still hurt and angry at Kili.  At himself, too, for not speaking up when he had the chance.  He let Kili paint him as the bad guy, but he wasn’t.  It was all a stupid misunderstanding. 

In the end, he picked up the shell and took it inside.  He didn’t know if it was a peace offering or not, but it was pretty.  It would go well with his growing collection. 

 


	62. Chapter 62

Today had been another busy day at the meal center.  A large shipment of donated goods had arrived and it had to be sorted, inventoried, and put away, all while trying to prepare the boxed lunches and get ready for the doors to open.  Fili barely had time to breathe for most of the day in between serving meals and helping in the kitchen. 

Now it was over, and he pulled into his driveway and parked the car.  After he turned it off he sat there for a minute, relaxing and savoring being off his feet.  He was too out of practice to be on his feet all day. 

Well, that should change soon enough.  He was scheduled to work twice a week at the meal center, as well as helping out with the home repairs once a week.  That gave him more than enough time if he decided to take a class at the college, and plenty of opportunities to get used to being busy again.

There wasn’t a paycheck for any of it, but today he’d been given a meal to take home.  He was concerned about taking it until Bofur assured him it would only go to waste otherwise.  He got it from where it rested in the passenger seat and got out of the car. 

He hesitated before going up the stairs.  He’d been inside most of the day, and it had been a while since he’d watched the setting sun.  He changed directions and headed out to the end of the jetty. 

Sunset was arriving in spectacular form, turning the sky into shades of red and orange.  The water was reflecting the colors, mixing them into its blues and greens to create a kaleidoscope of colors topped with creamy seafoam.  His rock was warm, offsetting the slight chill from the ocean breeze.  The waves were soft and welcoming today, caressing the rocks of the jetty as they rolled by.  One lone seagull glided overhead on the wind, watching to see if Fili offered anything to eat.

The meal wasn’t anything fancy, just lasagna with garlic bread and a salad.  It was good and he was hungry enough to wolf it down.  When he was done, he stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back on his arms. 

Having something to do, even if it was only for a few days a week, made him feel better.  Being able to help others was good too.  He hadn’t known how much he needed something like this, needed a reason to get out of bed in the mornings.  Now that he had it, it helped him fill that empty spot that had been inside of him since he parents died. 

He had no illusions.  He knew that a few days of work wasn’t going to miraculously fix his life.  There were a lot of things he needed to do to get everything in order. 

Maybe he’d see if there was a grief support group in town.  He could take Bard’s lead and see a therapist, too.  He could follow up on the application to the college and start drawing again.  There were a lot of things he could do. 

It might be a good thing that Kili was staying away for now.  It gave them both a chance to cool off so they would not say anything hurtful.  He still wanted to see Kili, but thinking it over first couldn’t hurt.  It wasn’t like he had a choice, though.  He didn’t know how to get in touch with Kili, or even if he’d ever see him gain. 

That was all something to worry about tomorrow, though.  Right now the sky was deepening to purple, and the first bright stars were starting to appear.  The seagull was bobbing in the water, riding the gentle waves while keeping Fili company. 

Yeah, he still had a long way to go.  Today had been a good one though, and he was content. 

 


	63. Chapter 63

Fili didn’t wake up until almost lunchtime.  The day before, he had went with Nori to help with working on houses again, and it had run longer than expected.  After that, everyone had gone for burgers and beer, which moved to a pool hall next door.  He’d lost more games than he’d won, but had a good time.  It was late by the time he got home and went to sleep. 

He laid there for a while, still in the pleasant state between sleeping and waking, enjoying his comfortable bed.  Eventually his growling stomach drove him to full wakefulness and he got up. 

The refrigerator was woefully empty.  He’d meant to go to the store last night before he got invited out, but never got around to it.  He made some toast and ate it standing over the sink, watching the waves through the window while he made a shopping list. 

After a quick shower, he grabbed his list and went to the store.  While he was there, he got some things that were quick and easy to make.  He enjoyed cooking but not after being on his feet all day, plus sometimes he just didn’t feel like it.  He also grabbed some things to grill.  Now that he was starting to get the hang of cooking on his grill, he wanted to try other things.  Tuna steaks couldn’t be that hard, right?  He paid, chatting with the cashier as he did, and loaded up the car. 

On the drive home he made a mental list of things he needed to do.  He should check his email to see if the college had accepted his application yet.  He also wanted to find some new recipes to try.  Maybe he could look into a cooking class while he was at it.  One day he’d have to take the time to go through the storage unit where his parents’ things were locked away and see what he wanted to keep.  He could donate the rest.  But all of that flew from his mind when he pulled into his driveway and saw a familiar shape sitting on his steps. 

Kili stood up as Fili parked the car and got out.  He had a small smile, but his eyes were uncertain.  He took a step closer and said, “You came back.”

Fili nodded and opened the trunk.  “I’ve told you before, this is my home now.  I’ll always come back.”

“I stopped by a few times.  You were never here.”  Kili looked down and toed at a clump of grass. 

“I’ve been doing some work in town.”  This was getting awkward, standing in the driveway making small talk.  Fili grabbed a couple of bags and said, “I was going to fix something to eat.  Join me?”

Kili looked up with a hopeful expression.  When Fili nodded, he smiled and heaved a relieved sigh.  “I’d like that.”

They carried the bags into the house.  Fili pulled out the ingredients to make sandwiches while Kili put items away.  They moved around in the small space like always, synchronized and avoiding jostling each other.  Fili waited until he was occupied with the lettuce before he said, “You came back, too.”

Kili looked up from his inspection of a box of noodles.  “I said I would.”

Without looking up, Fili said, “People say a lot of things.  Sometimes they don’t mean them.”

“I promised.  Fae can’t break a promise.”  Kili shrugged and put the noodles in the pantry. 

Fili nodded and started assembling the sandwiches.  He could feel Kili watching, but he still didn’t look up.  He knew what he wanted to say, but he was trying to find a way to say it where it didn’t sound accusing or confrontational. 

Kili beat him to it, though.  He sighed and hopped up to sit on the counter beside the sink.  “I’m sorry for the way I left.” 

“Oh?”  It took Fili by surprise.  He’d expected anger and recriminations.  He hadn’t expected an apology. 

Kili grabbed a pickle and took a bite, crunching on it and swallowing before saying, “I went to visit my mother while I was gone.”

That was another surprise.  He stopped cutting the sandwiches in half to look up at Kili. 

Kili saw, and nodded.  “It was nice, getting the chance to see her.  I wanted to ask her for some advice, though.  She’s spent more time around humans than I have.  She’s been involved with a couple, one of them for a number of years.  I wanted her advice.”

Remembering all the stories about selkies he found online, Fili couldn’t help but wonder at the nature of any relationship Kili’s mother had with a human.  He went back to cutting the sandwiches, but his shoulders were tense and drawn up, waiting to see what Kili would say. 

“I may have overreacted.”  Kili slouched down on the counter, hunching his shoulders and hanging his head.  “No, that’s too close to a lie.  I wasn’t thinking clearly, I overreacted, and I hurt you by accusing you of things you hadn’t done.”

Fili put down the knife.  None of this was going the way he had imagined it might.  “You don’t have to –“

“Yes, I do.”  Kili looked up and unshed tears were glistening in his eyes.  “Please, let me finish?”

Fili leaned back against the counter, giving Kili his full attention, and gestured for him to continue. 

Looking back at the ground, Kili said, “Every selkie pup is raised on tales of evil humans who try to steal our pelts and hold them hostage.  Our worst nightmare is to lose our pelts and not be able to return to the sea.  We don’t fade like some fae might, but we don’t thrive without our pelts.  If it goes long enough, we will sicken and die.” 

“There’s stories like that for humans, too,” Fili murmured. 

Kili went on as if he hadn’t heard.  In a tone so low Fili could barely hear, he said, “When you took my pelt and hid it away, those stories were all I could think of.  I was scared you wouldn’t give it back.  I was afraid to ask, because that would make it a reality.”

It made Fili’s heart hurt to hear that.  “Kili…”

Kili looked up and met Fili’s eyes with a smile.  “I was an idiot.”

“What?”  Fili was having a hard time keeping up with this conversation. 

“I should have paid attention to you, and not old stories.  You’ve done your best to take care of me since we first met, even before you knew I was a selkie.  After you found out, you never asked me for my pelt, or even to touch it.  You never asked me not to change forms, or tried to make me stay here.  When I was hurt, you made sure I had what I needed to heal.” 

“I really did get the storage shed for you to use.  I didn’t mean to lock your pelt away.”  Fili took a step closer, but didn’t want to crowd Kili. 

Kili reached out a hand and Fili took it.  He ran his thumb across Fili’s knuckles as he spoke.  “I told my mother about all this, and she told me you sound like a good human.  Then she agreed that I was an idiot who overreacted.  She told me I should come talk to you, so here I am.  Will you forgive me?”

Fili squeezed Kili’s hand and smiled.  “I don’t think there’s much to forgive.  We can agree that mistakes were made on both sides, because I made my fair share of them.” 

Losing his smile, Kili returned the squeeze.  “Will you at least forgive me for thinking ill of you?  It was poorly done of me and I should have known better.”

Fili nodded, relieved to see Kili’s smile return.  “If that’s out of the way, the food is ready.  Ready to eat?”

Kili's smile widened and he nodded.

 

 


	64. Chapter 64

Kili wrinkled his nose at the tomato on Fili’s sandwich and asked, “What have you been doing in town?”

“Volunteer work with Nori.”  Fili passed Kili the bag of salt and vinegar chips, knowing his preferences for anything salty or sweet.

“What sort of work?”  Kili accepted the bag of chips with a smile and nod of thanks.

As they ate, Fili explained about working on the houses of the elderly around town on the weekends.  Kili laughed at his story about catching Nori flirting with their burly foreman, Dwalin, and how they both turned bright red.  Fili told little anecdotes about some of the senior citizens, like the lady who always fixes dinner for them, or the man who cultivates different types of roses in his garden. 

They finished their sandwiches and Kili polished off the chips.  The later it got, the more subdued Kili grew.  He was quiet and pushing at crumbs on his plate with a finger, herding them all into a little pile and watching them intently. 

Fili thought he knew why Kili had suddenly started acting so awkward.  He looked at the darkening sky and said, “I’d ask you to stay the night, but I’m due at the kitchen early in the morning.  We could watch a movie, though.”

A wry smile on his face said Kili knew that Fili was trying to be clear and offer no pressure.  He didn’t say anything about it though, just answered, “I’d like that.”

They took their plates to the sink, and decided on bowls of ice cream for dessert.  Fili stuck with one scoop of pistachio, while Kili loaded his up with three different kinds before smothering the heap with chocolate syrup.  They relocated to the couch, sitting on opposite ends.  Kili attacked his ice cream with vigor while Fili found them a movie.  Disney had been a hit previously, so he decided on Pinocchio. 

When the familiar scene of Sleeping Beauty’s castle filled the screen, Fili turned to tell Kili something.  Whatever he was going to say flew from his mind while he watched Kili lick chocolate syrup from the back of a spoon, though.  Kili licked his lips and took another bite, and Fili looked back at the television before he did something embarrassing. 

Kili was enraptured by the movie, and Fili enjoyed watching his reactions to it.  Kili laughed when Pinocchio’s nose grew, gasped when he saw the children change at Pleasure Island, and scoffed at the idea of being swallowed by a whale.  One day, Fili wanted to take him to a movie theater and let him watch something on a big screen with surround sound.  Better yet, they could go to an IMAX theater, and see something in 3D, maybe one of those films about something like the Sahara Desert, or the Grand Canyon.  Those were probably spots that not many selkies got to visit. 

By the end of the movie, ice cream had been consumed and the bowls were forgotten on the coffee table.  It had gotten dark outside, but the only light was from the television.  Any awkwardness had seeped away, and they had their legs entangled under a throw in the middle of the couch. 

The credits rolled and Kili nudged Fili’s knee with his toes.  “I liked this.  Thank you.”

Fili felt his cheeks heat up under Kili’s warm gaze.  “Disney movies are usually good.”

“The movie was nice, but I meant this.  Spending time with you.”  Kili gestured to the throw.

“Oh.  I liked it, too.”  Fili was definitely blushing now, he could feel it.

“It’s getting late.”  Kili kicked his way free from the throw and stood up, then took his bowl to the kitchen. 

Fili tossed the throw over the back of the couch and stood too.  “I’d like it if we could do it again.”

“Me too.”  Kili crossed the room to stand in front of Fili.  “You should get some sleep.”  They stared at least other for a heartbeat before Kili asked, “May I kiss you?”

When Fili nodded, Kili gave him a bright smile, then leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss.  It was sweet, but brief.  Kili stepped back and smiled again. 

“I’ll see you soon?” Fili asked. 

Kili nodded.  “I promise.  And fae can’t break a promise, remember.  Sweet dreams.”  He gave a little wave, and then he was gone. 

Fili grabbed his bowl and took it to the kitchen.  He wasn’t sure if ice cream and Disney movies counted as a date in the rest of the world, but it was fun to do with a selkie.  He sang “Give A Little Whistle” as he got ready for bed. Maybe next time they could watch The Jungle Book.

 


	65. Chapter 65

“Dwalin thinks that we should be done with that garage this week,” Nori said as he laid cookie dough out on a baking sheet. 

Fili was preoccupied with making another batch of the cookie dough, and only half listening.  He gave a distracted hum in response as he measured out flour.

Nori didn’t notice.  He continued, “He said he’s found another place that needs us, though.  It’s a house on the other side of town, and it’s in pretty bad shape.  He told me the old man that owns it is in the hospital and needs it fixed so he has a place to go when he’s released.”

Fili had discovered two things in the past couple of weeks.  One, he loved baking.  It was soothing, to be able to take the basic ingredients, combine them, and have the same results every time.  Then he could take those results and use them to make people happy.  The flip side of that was two: he hated sifting flour.  He didn’t mind the measuring, mixing, cooking, or cleaning, but he hated the sifting.  Once he had the flour in the sifter, and held it over the bowl, he turned his attention to Nori. 

Nori was still talking about Dwalin.  Of course he was.  He’d been mooning over the big man like a love-struck teenager for at least two weeks now. 

“Why don’t you ask him out?” Fili interrupted. 

Nori froze, spoon in midair, and gave Fili a scandalized look.  “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”  Fili didn’t stop sifting the flour as he shrugged with one shoulder.  “He’s mentioned being fairly new in town.  He seems like a nice guy, and he’s into you.”

“Really?  You think?”  Nori blinked and shook his head.  “It doesn’t matter.  I can’t go out with him.”

“Let me ask again.  Why not?”  Fili finished sifting with a sigh of relief.

Resuming spooning the dough out, Nori frowned.  “He’s a teacher.  He can’t be seen hanging out with the local ex-con.”

“First of all, he’s a teacher at the college.  It isn’t like he’s dealing with kindergartners.  Second, I can’t imagine anyone telling Dwalin who he can or cannot date.  Third, I think you are giving this ‘ex-con’ business entirely too much importance.”  Fili gestured with the mixer. 

Nori scowled at the cookie dough.  “People think –“

“Stop.  If Dwalin likes you, do you really think he’d give a shit what people might think?”

“Well, no.”

“Do you?”

Nori rolled his eyes.  “Not remotely.”

“Then ask him out.”

Nori finished with the dough, and slid the baking sheet into the heated oven.  He propped his arms on the counter, leaning on them with a huff.  “What if I’m misreading the signals?  What if he’s just being friendly, and he isn’t into me at all?”

“I don’t think you’re wrong.”

“I can’t ask him out.  It would make working with him too awkward if he says no.”  Nori gestured for the bowl Fili was holding. 

Fili gave the dough a final stir before handing it over.  “What about a party?”

Nori gave Fili a look.  “I’m not exactly a social butterfly, in case you haven’t noticed.  I don’t know of any parties.”

“I could have one.  I was thinking about having a barbecue or something anyway.  We’ll just invite a few more people, and Dwalin can be one of them.  That way you can talk to him in a setting away from work, with no pressure.”  That wasn’t even a lie.  Fili had been thinking of inviting a few people over for dinner: Nori and his brothers, the guys from the meal center, the weekend work crew.  He could just invite them all at once and turn it into a social thing. 

“Really?”  Now Nori looked hopeful. 

“Sure.  It’ll be fun.”

 


	66. Chapter 66

Fili was checking his email when the phone rang.  He picked it up without looking to see who was calling and said, “Hello?”

“Are you busy?  You sound distracted.”

“Hey, Bard.  I was just reading something.  I got accepted for admission into the local college.”  Fili couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. 

“Cool, congratulations.  What are you going to study?”

“I have no idea.  I hadn’t thought that far ahead, honestly.  There’s a course on astronomy that looks interesting.” 

“You’ll figure it out.  I think it will be good for you to have something to do.”

“I’m not just sitting around watching Netflix all day, I’ll have you know.”  Fili went on to tell Bard about volunteering and his newfound love of cooking. 

When he was done, Bard said, “You sound better.”

Fili frowned.  “What do you mean?”

“There for a while you were depressed.  You sounded down all the time.  Now you don’t.”

After thinking about it a second, Fili nodded.  “I’m feeling better, too.  I feel like I’m starting to get my life back together.”

A peal of laughter rang out in the background and Bard moved the phone away from his mouth.  Fili could still hear him as he said, “I see, baby.  I’m on the phone right now though.”

“Tell the kids I said hi,” Fili called. 

Bard relayed the message and a chorus of yelled greetings came down the line.  Bard chuckled and spoke to Fili again.  “Did you hear?”

“How could I not?  How are they doing?”

“Good.  Tilda’s loving the junior cheerleading.  Bain is building a robot.  Sigrid is a teenage girl,” Bard sighed. 

Fili laughed.  “Yeah, I can imagine.  How’s it going with the hot mom?”

“Nowhere.  I didn’t ask her out.  I can’t yet.”

Fili knew how hard it was for Bard after losing his wife, and being a single parent to three children.  He wished there was something he could do besides be supportive.  He pushed his hair back with his free hand and said, “It’s okay.  You have time.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a rut.”  There was yelling and a door slammed in the background, and Bard sighed.  “I need a vacation.”

That was something Fili could arrange.  “Come and visit me.”

“Are you sure?  I don’t want to impose.”

Fili could hear the hope in Bard’s voice, and it made him smile.  “You won’t.  I’ve been asking you over for months.”

“Yeah, well, you say that now.  Wait until you have three kids fighting at dawn, screaming at the top of their lungs.  Do you even have room for all of us?”

Fili knew Bard might protest a bit more, but the argument was already won.  “Let me worry about that.  You just worry about packing.  Don’t forget the sunscreen.”

 


	67. Chapter 67

Fili had gone to the college to speak with an advisor about joining classes.  When he got home, he nearly stepped on a seashell waiting for him on the deck, at the top of the stairs.  It was longer than his hand, thin, and spiraled with bands of brown and cream.  He knew Kili had left it as a calling card, and brought it inside to add to the collection in the basket by the door.  At this rate, he’d need a bigger basket.  Maybe he could find a book on shell identification, too.  He had no idea what most of them were called. 

This wasn’t the first time he and Kili had missed each other.  He’d been busy lately.  One of the women working at the food pantry had gotten sick, so he’d been helping cover her shift.  Bombur’s wife had a baby last week, so he was suffering from a lack of sleep combined with happiness.  It was leaving the usually quiet chef giddy, and Fili was taking extra shifts at the meal center along with everyone else so Bombur could spend more time with his family.  Fili didn’t mind, and he was lucky enough to be able to afford to work without pay, but it cut into his free time.  He hadn’t seen Kili in almost a week.  He had nowhere to be for the rest of the day, though.  Maybe Kili would come back. 

It would be easier if they had another way to communicate besides seashells.  Seals couldn’t exactly carry a phone around, not to mention how would one use a smartphone with flippers instead of fingers?  Fili grinned at the mental image that brought.  Maybe he could get one of those signs like people put on counters when they went on break, the kind with a little clock face.  That raised the question of whether Kili could tell time or not, though.  Selkies didn’t exactly keep to a schedule.  That was something he could ask later.  Right now, he intended to relax and enjoy the rest of his day. 

He changed into a pair of swim trunks, grabbed a towel, and headed for the beach.  It was much too beautiful to spend the day indoors.  It was one of those perfect days, like the kind you see in movies that don’t seem real.  The sun was a bright coin shining in the sky, keeping the day warm enough to enjoy the water without being unpleasant.  The sandpipers were running back and forth, dodging the waves as they picked at the sand.  The one seagull that seemed to have taken up residence at Fili’s house was in his customary place, standing in the shade at the bottom of the steps.  Fili could recognize him by the thin band of black feathers around his neck, where most seagulls have plain white.  At least Fili assumed it was a male.  He didn’t know how to tell the difference.  It wouldn’t matter unless he found a nest of baby seagulls one day, he supposed. 

The gull hardly moved away when Fili reached the bottom of the stairs, just casually strolling a short distance before looking at Fili to see if any food might be forthcoming.  When he realized it wasn’t, the bird settled his feathers and looked out to sea. 

“Hang out for a while.  When I’m done I’ll grab you some crackers,” Fili told it.  The bird ignored him, and he snorted.  “Yeah, like you’re going anywhere.  All I can say is you better not be some sort of fairy, too.  I think a selkie is about all I can handle.”

The gull gave him an unimpressed look.  Fili grinned at it and threw his towel over the stair rail before jogging to the water.  Today the water was the color of the sky, a clear blue with a few creamy whitecaps lacing the waves.  He paused at the edge of the water for a second to admire the view before wading out into it.  There didn’t seem to be much of a current, unlike his unforgettable experience when he nearly drowned, but he was careful to keep an eye on the beach to make sure he wasn’t drifting.  He was still leery about swimming out too far alone.  He stuck between the second and third sandbars and had no problems. 

When he started getting tired, he headed back to the beach.  He wasn’t ready to go back inside yet, so he sat in the shallows with the waves swirling around him, lapping at his legs.  There was a hole in the sand next to him, and he assumed something was living in it.  Every time the water receded, the hole would spit out water.  Wouldn’t it be easier to make a hole farther up the beach, and not have to worry about having your home flooded every few seconds?  He was curious about what was living in the hole, but not curious enough to dig the creature up.  Besides, ocean critters could be weird.  A tiny hole might lead to the spawn of Cthulhu or Godzilla or something.  Best to leave it alone and live and let live. 

A dark shape darting through the water caught his attention.  He leaned back on his arms and watched it come closer.  It was moving fast under the surface, and he couldn’t tell what it was yet.  Whatever it was, it was a good size.  He was in shallow enough water that he didn’t have to worry about something that large trying to eat him.  Or did he?  He vaguely remembered watching a documentary with his dad about killer whales that rushed up on the beach to eat unwary seals.  He briefly considered moving to the dubious safety of dry land before he made out the shape of a seal. 

The seal zoomed towards him, riding a wave in before stopping a short distance away on the sand.  It wriggled closer, splashing wet sand everywhere in the process, and stopped a couple of feet away from Fili.  It huffed and laid its head down, watching Fili with big, liquid eyes. 

Fili grinned at it.  “You’re a frigging huge seal.  Where does all of that go when you’re human?  You don’t have that much mass.  Is it some sort of selkie magic thing?”

The seal turned and looked at the house before looking back at Fili. 

“You know, I’m going to feel like a giant idiot if you aren’t Kili.  I can see the news now.  Man gets mauled by seal, more at eleven,” Fili told it. 

The seal snorted and shimmied.  There was the cottony haze for a few seconds, then Kili was there, naked and kneeling, clutching his pelt. 

Fili blinked hard.  “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing that.  It looks even weirder in daylight.” 

Kili shifted to sit next to Fili and gave him a smile.  “It feels weird to have someone see it.  You’re the only human who has seen me change.”

“Really?”  When Kili nodded, a bloom of warmth erupted in Fili’s chest.  “Well, thank you for trusting me with it.”

Kili’s cheeks pinkened and he shrugged.  He looked at the water and tug his toes into the sand. 

Fili watched him and fought off a grin.  Kili blushing was cute.  A thought came to him though, and he asked, “How much are you still you when you’re a seal?”

Kili raised his eyebrows and looked back to Fili.  “What do you mean?”

“Do you still think like you, or do you think like a seal?”

“Do you still think like you when you take off your clothes?”

Fili gave him a look.  “When I take off my clothes, I don’t change into a different species.”

That made Kili laugh.  “No, I’m still me no matter which skin I wear.  Why do you ask?”

“I’ve told you about my friend Bard.  He’s coming to visit and he’s bringing his kids, too.  I know they would be super excited if they got to see a seal.”

Kili got a funny expression and tug his toes further into the sand.  He watched his feet as he said, “I can do that, sure.”

Fili couldn’t read the look on Fili’s face, but it made him feel like he was asking something wrong.  He tried to clarify, “I mean, it doesn’t have to be too close.  Maybe like on the end of the jetty?  I’d rather not give the kids the idea that it’s okay to pet wildlife or something.”

“Fine.”  Kili didn’t look up. 

Something was most assuredly not fine, but Fili couldn’t figure out what it was.  “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want.”

“I don’t mind.”

Fili chewed on his bottom lip and watched Kili make a trench for his feet.  Maybe Kili would tell him what the problem was if he quit poking at it, so instead of asking about it again, he said, “We’ll have to have a change of clothes for you somewhere, too.  I mean, I don’t mind if you show up naked, but it might be a little much for the kids.” 

That got Kili to look at him again.  “What?”

“When you meet them,” Fili clarified.  “It might be hard to explain why I have a nudist boyfriend.”

“What?”  Kili blinked wide eyes at him. 

Fili realized what he had said.  It wasn’t like they had discussed what they were, or what kind of relationship they had.  Maybe Kili didn’t want to meet Bard or the kids.  Maybe Kili didn’t want to be referred to as Fili’s boyfriend.  Maybe this was something he should have brought up at some other time besides now.  Fili started to stammer something out. 

Kili interrupted him.  “You want me to meet your family?”

“They aren’t really my family,” Fili pointed out. 

“I’ve heard you talk about them.  They’re the family of your heart, even if they aren’t blood.”

Fili thought about it for a second before he nodded.  He couldn’t argue with that.  “You’re right.  So, yeah, I guess so.  I figured you could meet them while they visited.”

Before Fili could say anything else, he suddenly had a lap full of sandy, wet, naked Kili, who was kissing him breathless.  Fili rested his hands on Kili’s waist, returning the kiss.  He was a bit dazed when Kili broke it and leaned back.  Kili had his arms around Fili’s neck and was still holding his pelt.  It was pressed against Fili’s back, warm and feeling somehow alive.  It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was a little strange. 

“I’d be honored to meet Bard and his children.”  Kili beamed a smile down at Fili. 

Fili ran his hands up Kili’s back, dusting away grains of sand dotting the smooth skin.  He returned the smile and said, “Good.  I know Bard wants to meet you, too.”

Kili gave him a quick peck before adding, “And I promise to bring no harm to him or his children.”

Fili’s hands froze and he frowned.  “Thanks?  That wasn’t something I was aware I needed to worry about.”

“You’ve heard of changelings?  Fae stealing children?”

Fili nodded and let his hands fall to rest on Kili’s thighs.

“It’s not just a myth.”  Kili swung a leg over and turned to sit beside Fili.  He shrugged as he said, “Children have a type of magic all their own.  It’s sort of like the between magic.  Children are a promise to the future, and carry hope and wonder with them.  All fae can feel it.  That’s why so many are drawn to the young.  Some of them try to take it for their own.”

It seemed cooler without the warmth of Kili and his pelt cocooning him, and Fili shivered. 

Kili saw and watched Fili from the corner of his eye.  “Selkies don’t steal children, but I wanted you to know they are safe with me anyway.”

Fili nodded, remembering the stories of male selkies coming back and paying a fee before taking away any children they had fathered.  He guessed that technically it wasn’t stealing, but modern day courts might have something to say about the whole notion.  Whatever, it didn’t apply in this situation.  He nodded and said, “Good to know.”

Kili smiled at him, and Fili returned it.  There was definitely some potential for weird cultural misunderstandings here.  They’d have to talk about Bard’s upcoming visit some more.  There was at least one area where they had no misunderstandings, though. 

Fili stood up and held a hand out to Kili.  “I’m starving.  Care to join me?”

Kili took his hand, stood up, and held on to it as they walked back to the house. 

 


	68. Chapter 68

Kili trailed Fili into the house.  Fili took a quick shower first to rinse off the sand and salt, and threw on an old shirt and pair of shorts.  When Fili went to the kitchen to start cooking, Kili left his pelt on the table, took a shower and made a detour to the bedroom to get a pair of sweats out of the drawer that had accumulated his articles of clothing.  He joined Fili in the kitchen and cocked a hip against a counter, watching Fili gather the ingredients needed to make fried chicken. 

Kili frowned and crossed his arms, chewing on his bottom lip before sighing and asking, “Do you have the keys to the shed?”

“They’re on the table with the shells.”  Fili had gotten them from the lock, worried they would rust in place. 

Kili stared at his pelt and chewed on his lip for another minute before asking, “Would you mind if I used it?”

Fili set the flour he was measuring down so he could give Kili his undivided attention.  “I’ve told you, the shed is yours.  You can use it any time you want, or you don’t have to use it at all.”

“What if I accidentally lock the key inside with my pelt?”  Kili didn’t look up, and kept worrying at a ragged piece of skin on his bottom lip. 

“Then we’ll call a locksmith.  They can come and open the lock, and you’ll have your pelt back.”

“What if I lose the key?”

Fili stepped forward and took Kili’s hand.  “We’ll call the locksmith.  He can take off the lock, and we’ll get a new one with new keys.  If all else fails, I’ll get a hatchet and you can hack the door down if you want to.”

Kili snorted and rolled his eyes, but it got him to smile a little and quit chewing his lip raw.  He looked at Fili from under his lashes, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.  “I know I must sound stupid, worrying about it.”

“Hey, it’s not stupid at all.  It’s important to you and I can understand why you’d be worried.  You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.  Your pelt will be fine in the house, if it makes you more comfortable.  It’s entirely up to you.”  Fili squeezed his hand, and then returned to mixing up the batter. 

Kili thought about it for a few minutes, but then grabbed his pelt and left the kitchen.  When he returned, he no longer had the pelt, but he was clutching the key in a tight fist. 

After putting the chicken in the hot grease, Fili washed his hands and went to his desk.  He had to rummage around in a couple of drawers before he could find what he was looking for.  With a smile, he held it up and showed it to Kili. 

Kili raised an eyebrow and asked, “What is that?”

“This is a keyring.  You can put your key on it, and it’ll be harder to lose that way.”

“I imagine so.”  Kili took the offered keyring, and inspected it. 

It had the standard hoop for keys, which was connected by a short chain to a foam donut roughly the size of his head.  The donut was decorated to look like it had chocolate frosting, with sprinkles spelling out “Seaside Donuts” across the top.  Kili squeezed it, and when he let go it popped back into shape with a wheeze. 

“It’s supposed to float, so if you drop it into water you don’t have to worry,” Fili pointed out. 

“Where did you get it?”

“The donut shop in town was giving them away for a promo.  I figure you can use it until we find something else.  We can order you a lanyard or something.  That way you can keep it around your neck.” 

Kili carefully threaded the key on to the metal ring.  He held it up and looked at it, making sure the key was on properly and wouldn’t fall off, before setting it on the coffee table in the living room.  He came and stood in front of Fili, taking both of his hands before saying, “Thank you.”

“It’s no big deal.”  Fili shrugged. 

Squeezing Fili’s hands, Kili said, “I beg to differ.  You’ve offered safety for me and my pelt.  You’ve made a place for me in your home and at your table.  You’ve asked me to meet your friends and family.  It’s a big deal.”  He leaned forward and gave Fili a gentle kiss. 

“You know you’re always welcome here,” Fili murmured. 

Kili pressed his forehead against Fili’s, whispering, “I know.  You’ve opened your heart to me, and I to you.”

The words sounded entirely too solemn and formal, and Fili hoped he hadn’t just been involved in some sort of fae selkie commitment ceremony or something.  As interesting as that might be, it wasn’t something he wanted to walk into without any warning.  At the very least, a conversation first would be nice. 

Being this close to Kili, sharing breath, holding hands, and forehead to forehead, Fili couldn’t deny the swirl of other-worldliness emitting from the selkie.  It made the conversation seem more important underneath the superficial meaning of the words.  It felt like Kili had made a promise somehow, even if Fili hadn’t made one in return.  There were layers here, in between the words and their meanings, and a type of magic to it all.  As Kili kept reminding him, fae folk take promises very seriously.  He felt like he was out of his depth.

But then the chicken loudly popped in the grease, making them both startle at the sound.  Kili squeezed his hands once more before letting go and stepping back with a smile.  “We should probably finish cooking dinner.  What can I do to help?” 

The moment was gone, scattered by the intrusion of mundane life, along with whatever magic it held.

 


	69. Chapter 69

The day had started foggy and gray, but it all burned away before Bard and his family arrived.  When they pulled into the driveway, they had been greeted by the shining sun reflecting off rolling blues waves.  Fili was glad for it, jogging down the stairs as they all tumbled out of the car with laughter and shouts of greeting. 

Tilda got to him first, catching him in a hug as he reached the ground.  She was squeezing his waist tight enough to make it hard to breathe when she looked up with shining eyes and said, “Fee!  You moved so far away!  Can we go swimming here?”

There was no chance to answer before Bain caught him in a hug from the side.  He caught a glimpse of Sigrid by the car, with her arms crossed looking out over the beach, and were those green streaks in her hair?  No matter.  He held out an arm and waved her over.  She joined the group hug with a smile. 

He'd missed this.  Kili was right when he said this was his family, by choice if not by blood.  Tilda squeezed hard enough to force a grunt from him, and he said, “Gah.  When did you all get so tall?  Bain, are you wearing high heels?”

They broke apart with a laugh.  Bard came over, scooping Fili up in a bear hug until his feet were dangling off the ground.  Bard told him, “Don’t blame us because you’re short.”

“I’ll have you know I’m vertically challenged, thank you.”  Fili thumped Bard on the back and returned the hug before getting dropped back to his feet.

He ushered Bard and the kids upstairs and into the house.  After a brief squabble over the bathroom, the kids went outside while Fili showed Bard around the house.  They ended up back in the kitchen, Bard leaning on the counter while Fili fixed them both a cup of tea.

“It’s a nice house.  How do you like living out here?”  Bard accepted his tea with a nod of thanks. 

“I was lonely, at first,” Fili admitted.  “Now that I’m settling in and making friends, it’s a lot better.”

Bard gave him a look over the rim of his teacup.  “Speaking of making friends, how’s Kili doing?”

Fili laughed and flapped a hand at him.  “You’ll get to meet him.  He’ll be at dinner tomorrow, and at the party.”

“How’s that going?  Need any help setting up?”

“Nah.  I decided to rent a tent and a few things.  They set it all up when they deliver it, and break it down for me when it goes back.  There’s one problem, though.”

“What’s wrong?”  Bard sat his cup on the counter and stood up, ready to help. 

Fili hid a smile as he took a sip of tea before saying, “Look, you know I love you.  I love the kids like they’re my own.  I love having you visit, too.  But I thought about it, and you’re right.  I’m too used to being on my own.  I’m not ready to handle fights over the bathroom, or arguments over what to watch on TV.  So, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, I’m sending you to a hotel down the road.”

Bard sighed and slouched down again.  “I told you, the kids are fine sleeping on the floor.”

“I’m not getting up in the morning and tripping over a child.”

“And I’ll be fine on the couch.”

“Absolutely not.  What if I want to run naked through the house?”

Bard crossed his arms.  “Fili.”

Fili snorted.  “Drop the dad voice.  It won’t work on me.  Besides, I already reserved the room.”

“I wasn’t expecting to stay in a hotel.”  Bard’s brow furrowed.

Fili knew that money could get tight for a single father trying to raise three kids, so he hastened to assure him.  “I’ve already paid for it.”

“I can’t let you - “

“Too late.  I’ve already done it.”

“Fili.”

“Might as well stop arguing.  It’s already done.”  Fili didn’t bother to mention he had reserved them a suite with two bedrooms and a living area.  They’d figure it out when they got to the resort.  They’d also figure out that he’d also gotten them a few extras, like a spa day for all of them, wind-sailing lessons for the kids, and a massage for Bard so he could take the chance to relax.  “Seriously, just let me do this, okay?”

Bard sighed, but nodded.  “Fine.”

Before he could add anything else, there was a loud squeal from outside, followed by the thump of someone running up the stairs and a chorus of voices yelling, “Da!”

Bard and Fili both straightened, but before they could react further Bain burst in the door.  “Da, come look!”

Fili and Bard exchanged a glance as Bain ran back out, thudding back down the stairs.  Bard followed him, with Fili trailing behind. 

“Look, Da!  It’s a seal!”  Tilda called up the stairs. 

“Fuck’s sake,” Bard muttered under his breath.  As he joined the children on the beach, he said louder, “I thought someone was being murdered.”  The kids ignored him in favor of staring at the seal. 

Kili was on the beach, next to the jetty.  He and Fili had discussed it and agreed that would be the best spot for the kids to see a seal.  They could get closer without having to get on the wet rocks, and it gave Kili options on ways to go.  Kili had no problem with the kids interacting with him, and Fili knew he wouldn’t hurt them, but they shouldn’t get the idea to get to close to ‘wild’ animals. 

“Can we go closer?” Tilda asked.

“A little,” Fili said. 

Bard grumbled for show, but went along when Tilda tugged on his arm.  He made the kids stop halfway to the jetty. 

Kili was studiously ignoring the children.  He stretched, raising his nose and tail in the air, before flopping on to his side with a grunt.  Sigrid was taking pictures with her phone while Tilda was making cooing sounds over every move Kili made.  Bain just stood next to Bard, both of them watching with identical smiles. 

Tilda crept closer and Kili rolled to his stomach.  She froze and Kili laid there watching her.  When he didn’t react further, she took another step forward. 

“No one’s going to hurt you,” Tilda crooned.  She reached a hand out and said, “It’s okay, you’re safe.”

Bain snorted.  “It’s not a puppy, Til.” 

“Don’t get too close, sweetie,” Bard added. 

Kili heaved a sigh and looked past them at Fili.  After a glance to make sure no one was watching him, Fili winked.  Kili huffed before inching his way back into the water.  Another wave came up and helped him along, and then he was gone. 

Tilda turned back to Bard.  “Did you see it?”

“Yeah sweetie, I did.”

She ran to Fili and grabbed his hand.  “That was so cool!  Do you think it’ll be back?”

“Yeah, he comes around now and then.”

The kids chattered about the seal on the way back to the house.  It made Fili smile, seeing them so excited, and he knew it would make Kili happy too.  He couldn’t wait for them to meet. 

 


	70. Chapter 70

Bard’s car had only been gone about fifteen minutes before Kili knocked on the door.  He must have changed as soon as they were out of sight, and now he was grinning widely and almost dancing in eagerness as Fili waved him in. 

“Do you think they liked it?” Kili blurted before Fili could say anything.  “I know the little one did, I saw her, but what about the others?  Did they say anything when you came back inside?”

His excitement made Fili smile too as he assured him, “They loved seeing you.  Tilda spoke of nothing else, and Sigrid already sent pictures to all of her friends.”

“I could do it again.  Maybe next time we can let them get a little closer.” 

“That’s okay.”

“I know you said you don’t want them used to wild animals, and I agree.  I wouldn’t let anything happen to them though, I promise.”  Kili gave Fili earnest wide eyes.  “Fae can’t break a promise.”

Fili snorted.  “Stop giving me that look.  I know you wouldn’t let anything happen.  I want them to actually meet you as a human and we’re going to have dinner together.”

Kili dropped the puppy expression and smiled instead.  “I remember you mentioned it.  I’d like that.”

“Why don’t you get cleaned up?  I’ll fix you a snack.”

Kili agreed, dropped the lanyard holding the shed key into the basket with the shells, and headed to the shower.

Seeing Kili do that, knowing the trust it took to leave the keys lying there, made the warm spot in Fili’s chest expand.  He wouldn’t ever do anything to Kili’s pelt or the keys, but it was nice to know that Kili had confidence in him. 

He had eaten earlier with Bard and the kids, but had saved a plate for Kili.  He warmed it up in the microwave and set it on the table just in time for Kili to come back after a quick shower.

“Did they have a nice trip?” Kili asked, before digging into his food.

As Kili ate, Fili told him about the kids’ reactions and enthusiasm about seeing a seal, their trip down, and where they were staying.  He also mentioned some of the things he had planned, and the things he wanted to do with the kids while they were visiting.  He was distracted by a thought and asked, “Do you know anything about sailing?”

Kili shook his head.  “I know boats float.  That’s about it.”

Fili rose to get more tea.  “I wonder how hard it is to learn.  Wait, I know.  We can rent a charter one day.  They’ll do all the hard work for us while we relax and fish.  Then we can take sailing lessons later so when the kids come down we can take them out.  Doesn’t that sound fun?”

When there was no answer, Fili threw a questioning glance over his shoulder.  Kili was staring at him with a funny look.  He sat back down and asked, “Did I say something wrong?”

“You keep saying we.”  Kili turned his attention back to his plate. 

Fili replayed the conversation in his head before he said, “Yeah, I do.  Sorry.  I guess I assumed you’d join us.”

“Don’t apologize.  You’re making plans for your family, and you’re including me, too.”  Kili reached a hand out. 

Fili took it and intertwined their fingers on top of the table.  “You don’t have to come if you don’t want.  I know three children can get overwhelming if you aren’t used to them.”

“That’s not it.  It’s like you’re counting me as one of your family.  It feels like you want me around.  It’s nice.”  Kili squeezed Fili’s hand before he stood to take his plate to the sink.  He rinsed it off and asked, “Why do you have a bag of food on the counter?”

“Oh, that’s stuff the kids didn’t eat.  Instead of throwing it out, I’m giving it to Jonathan tomorrow.”

Kili came back to the table and sat down again.  “Who is Jonathan?”

“Jonathan Livingston, he’s the seagull that hangs around on the deck.”

Kili laughed at that.  “You named a seagull Jonathan Livingston?”

“No, not me.  There’s a book called Jonathan Livingston Seagull.  I just borrowed the name.  Silly, I know,” Fili muttered.  He could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. 

“It’s not silly.  It’s sweet.”  Kili reached over and took Fili’s hand again. 

“I do want you around, you know.”  When Kili raised an eyebrow, Fili explained, “What you said, about including you in plans.  I like having you around.  I enjoy spending time with you.”

“And I with you.”  Kili raised Fili’s hand and dropped a kiss on his knuckles. 

 


	71. Chapter 71

They wound up on the couch together, legs tangled under the blanket and flipping through channels.  Fili was restless and didn’t feel like committing to a movie, but he couldn’t find anything on the television to hold his interest.  Kili didn’t say anything, just rubbed Fili’s calf under the blanket.

After a complete tour through the lineup, Fili huffed and asked Kili, “Did you see anything you found interesting?”

“Yep.”

“What was it?”  Fili turned to catch Kili staring at him. 

Kili grinned and waggled his eyebrows.  “Why don’t you come over here and I’ll show you.”

Fili rolled his eyes at the cheesy line.  Nevertheless, he set the remote on the coffee table and shifted so he could crawl over the couch.  He wound up on all fours over Kili’s legs, hovering so he didn’t crush anything.  Matching Kili’s flirty tone, he raised a brow.  “What would you like me to see?”

“It’s more along the lines of what I’d like to do.  Kiss me?”

All too happy to oblige, Fili leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kili’s in a chaste peck.  He pulled back and murmured, “There’s something I’d like to do, too, if you’ll let me.”

“You can do anything you want.  You don’t have to ask.” 

“Are you sure?”

Kili nodded and gave Fili another smile, slow and full of hunger.

“Well, if you’re certain…”  Fili gave him another soft kiss, sweet and gentle, before plopping down to straddle his legs and begin to tickle him mercilessly. 

Kili laughed and tried to squirm away, but he was trapped.  He huffed, and it sounded enough like the noise he made when he was a seal that Fili started laughing.  Kili took advantage of his lapse and flipped them around.  Fili found himself flat on his back with Kili grinning down at him. 

“You sure you want to start a tickle fight?”  Kili wiggled his fingers in what was supposed to be an ominous threat, made less so by his happy smile. 

“Now that you mention it, we should probably get some sleep,” Fili tried to say, except the last word was lost in a shout of laughter as Kili attacked. 

They wrestled, tickling each other and laughing, until Kili wobbled on the edge of the couch.  Fili grabbed him before he could fall off, and pulled him close.  They ended up chest to chest, with Kili on top. 

“Do you surrender?” Kili asked before he dropped a kiss on Fili’s nose. 

“Yep, you beat me.”  Fili craned his neck to give Kili a kiss. 

Kili slid down so Fili didn’t have to stretch and kissed him back.  It was sweet but brief, since Kili caught a hair in his mouth.  He leaned back with a laugh, pushing his hair back and trying to get it out of the way.  He was disheveled from their tickle fight though, and as soon as he pushed one lock back, another fell into his face. 

Fili grinned and held Kili’s hair back for him.  “Better?”

“Much.”  Kili leaned down and gave Fili another kiss, making a noise deep in his throat when Fili nipped at his bottom lip.  He slid a hand under Fili’s shirt, drawing little circles with his thumb on the smooth stretch of skin there.  He tilted his head, nibbled below Fili’s ear and murmured, “I want you.”

Fili nodded and turned his head, giving Kili better access.  “Yes.”

This time when Kili leaned back, his smile was full of wicked promises.  “You should probably hold my hair back for me, though.”  His eyes fluttered shut when Fili gave an experimental tweak before opening and focusing again.  He was a little breathless when he said, “Yeah, like that.”

“You like having your hair pulled?”

“Not hard, and not all the time, but right now?  Yeah,” Kili said and nodded, tugging against Fili’s grip. 

Fili pulled him down for a kiss, letting go of his hair only so he could gather it up into a ponytail before wrapping it around his fist.  He raised a leg up and around Kili’s hip, cocking his knee so he could use his heel to urge Kili against him.  Kili went with the motion willingly, grinding down against Fili with a moan.  Fili broke the kiss, using the leverage he had in Kili’s hair to pull his head back to nibble at the sensitive skin beneath his chin. 

Kili rocked against him, and Fili wrapped his free arm around Kili’s waist and arched his back, meeting the motion.  He kept his face buried in the warm skin of Kili’s neck, at the juncture of neck and shoulder, and inhaled deeply.  Kili always smelled so good, like fresh air and sunlight and the crisp, salty smell of high tide.  Fili didn’t know if it was a selkie thing, or if that was just how Kili smelled, but he loved it.  When he mouthed at the spot, Kili whimpered and bucked his hips forward. 

They were in no hurry, trading lazy kisses and rolling their hips in tandem.  Fili kept his hand tangled in Kili’s hair, tightening and loosening his grip and listening to the little gasps and moans each flex of his fingers earned.  His other hand moved to clutch Kili’s hip, encouraging and guiding the rocking motion.

Slipping a hand between them, Kili canted to the side to be able to unbutton Fili’s jeans and wriggle them low enough to free his erection.  From there, it only took a shove and a quick twist of his hips, and Kili’s sweats were down around his thighs.  Fili sucked in a breath when Kili wrapped long fingers around them, pressing their cocks together and starting to stroke.  He tugged at Kili’s hair, getting a whine in response as Kili leaned forward to nibble on his earlobe.

“Good?” Kili panted against Fili’s cheek. 

Fili nodded, but murmured, “Harder.”  When Kili’s fist tightened around them both, he nodded again.  “Just like that.”

Kili kept to the same slow, languid pace, rolling his hips and sliding his hand up and down.  Fili matched him thrust for thrust, one leg wrapped around Kili’s hip, whispering encouragement.  He could feel Kili’s arm start to shake, and watched as Kili threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as he reached his peak and came across Fili’s stomach.  The scalding slick eased the way for Fili to follow him over the edge.  Kili kept his hand moving, working Fili through the aftershocks until he was done.  Fili pulled him down for a kiss, letting go of his hair so it fell in a chestnut curtain around them.  Kili went willingly, paying no heed to the mess across Fili’s chest and stomach.

Kili broke the kiss and leaned his head against Fili’s, forehead to forehead.  He waited until their heartbeats had returned to normal before he asked, “Was that okay?”

Fili nodded, giving a little content hum.  “Definitely okay.  I think we need to clean off before we wind up sticking to each other, though.”

Showing no inclination to move, Kili nodded with a chuckle.  He kissed the end of Fili’s nose and said, “Another shower would be a good idea.  Care to join me?”

“I’d like that.”

Kili wiped his hand off on his sweats, tugging them back up but still not getting up.  He leaned down on his elbows, sliding his hands under the back of Fili’s head, and lost his smile.  “I’ve said it before, but the timing was awful and the circumstances were shitty.  I hope you’ll forgive me for that and listen when I say it now.  I love you.”

Looking into Kili’s solemn face, embraced, surrounded, and wrapped up by warm selkie, Fili couldn’t help but smile.  “I don’t know if that other time counts.  We were both a little emotional.”

Kili rolled his eyes.  “You could say that.”

“Anyway, it’s okay.  And I love you, too.”  Fili poked Kili in the ribs.

Kili raised an eyebrow.  “Are you trying to start another tickle fight?”

“Nope.  Not a bit.  I’m trying to get the overheated selkie to move so we can get a drink and clean up, though.  I’m getting sweaty.”  Fili make a little meep noise when Kili poked him back. 

“Fine,” Kili huffed, sounding put out, but he pecked Fili’s forehead before he sat back with a smile.  He stood and offered a hand. 

Fili took it, and let Kili pull him to his feet.  “We have dinner with Bard and the kids tomorrow.  Will you stay the night?”  He looked at his shirt and grimaced before trying to get it over his head without smearing the mess across his face. 

Kili snorted at his expression and helped him pull it off.  “I’d like that.”

“Good.  I’ll start the shower.  Why don’t you make us some tea and come join me?”

Kili nodded.  After another quick kiss, they headed to their respective tasks. 

As he waited for the water to warm up, Fili reflected that it was a bit like their lives.  They would separate and go do different things for a while, but eventually time would bring them back together again.  He didn’t know if it would be possible to have a typical, normal relationship with a selkie.  What he had wasn’t bad, and it made them happy, so he’d take it.  They'd both figure things out as they went along.

 


	72. Chapter 72

They had talked about it beforehand and agreed to take Bard and his family to the restaurant where they ate on their first trip to town, but if Fili had known how anxious Kili was going to be, he would have just had them all come to his house.  It was too late to change plans now though, so he was driving and trying not to let Kili distract him from the road.  Kili was sitting in the passenger seat, braced like he expected a wreck at any moment, and fretting about the meeting. 

For the third time that day, Kili asked, “What if they don’t like me?”

“They’re going to love you,” Fili assured him yet again. 

It didn’t work.  “But what if they don’t?”

Fili offered his hand to Kili.  Kili looked at it for a second, took it for a brief squeeze, and then released it in favor of clutching his seat beat once more.  When Fili had both hands on the steering wheel again, Kili relaxed a fraction, but still looked like he might vomit at any second. 

Keeping his tone calm, hoping to sooth the skittish selkie, Fili said, “I don’t think they won’t like you.  But if they don’t, I’ll ask them why, and we can work it out.  Okay?”

“Okay.”  Kili sighed.  “I know I’m being ridiculous.”

“Look at it like this: they have no reason to not like you, but they have every reason to already love you.”

Kili gave him a doubtful look.  “What reason is that?”

“They know I care about you.  That alone earns you a lot of brownie points.” 

Kili snorted but the worry line between his eyes eased a bit. 

It was better once they parked and got out of the car.  Kili was being clingy, but the color returned to his face and he didn’t look like he was going to be sick anymore. 

Fili didn’t say anything about it.  He had gotten them to leave the house early for just this reason.  He knew the car ride would be difficult and wanted to give Kili the chance to recover before dinner.  Now he just let Kili clutch his arm while they strolled around the market district and did some window shopping.  It worked.  Kili relaxed bit by bit, until he was holding Fili’s hand and making remarks about some of the things they saw. 

After a surreptitious glance at his watch, Fili said, “Ready to head over to the restaurant?”

Kili sighed but said, “As ready as I’m getting.”

Fili squeezed his hand and gave him a smile.  “Even if it’s totally horrible, it’s just dinner.  A couple of hours and it will be over.”

“Right.”  Kili didn’t sound convinced, but he gamely followed Fili. 

They had reservations for a table large enough to fit all of them comfortably, outside on the patio.  There was a musician performing, maybe one of the same men from the last time they were here, plucking away at a beat-up guitar.  It was nice, not too loud, so conversation wouldn’t have to be shouted across the table.  The fountain was on too, with its burbling water making a pleasant background noise.  The hostess seated them, and a waitress brought out water and some of the dark bread with flavored butters.  The familiarity helped Kili to relax further, until he was smiling and joking around, debating with Fili which butter was the best. 

“Fili!”  Tilda’s happy call rose over the music.

Fili and Kili stood as the hostess directed Bard and his family to the table.  Kili leaned closer, bumping his shoulder against Fili’s, but then straightened up.  Kili might be reluctant to seem needy in front of others, but Fili had no such qualms.  He took Kili’s hand, getting a smile of gratitude. 

Introductions were made, and there was a minute of confusion while the waitress brought more bread and took drink orders, and everyone found a seat.  Fili ended up between Kili and Bain, across from Tilda who was between Bard and Sigrid. 

“I’ve heard so much about you and your family,” Kili told Bard.  “I’m happy to get the chance to meet you.”

“Likewise.  It’s great to meet you, too.  We’re happy to have the chance to come and visit, even if Fili is determined to spoil the kids rotten while we’re here.”  Bard gave Fili a look out of the corner of his eye.

“What?  It’s a vacation.  Let me spoil them a little.”  Fili shrugged. 

“Yeah, Da, let him spoil us a little,” Sigrid chimed in as she helped Tilda with her bread.

Bard sighed but said, “And what do we say?”

In unison, the children chanted, “Thank you, Fili.”

Seeing Kili smile at that, Bard asked him, “Do you have any kids?”  When Kili shook his head, Bard asked, “Want any?  I know of three of them you can have.”

Tilda elbowed Bard with a laughing protest.  Kili blushed and Fili was certain that there was some sort of rule about offering children to a fae, but didn’t say anything.  Instead he passed Kili another slice of bread, along with a smile. 

Bard turned back to Fili with a frown.  “I don’t remember you telling me how you two met.”

Fili was taking a drink, so Kili answered, “I saved him from drowning.”

_“What?”_ Bard exclaimed.  He and the children looked wide-eyed at Kili for a heartbeat before he turned to Fili and said, “You never told me you nearly drowned.”

Fili leaned over to Bain and stage-whispered, “He must be pissed.  He’s using the dad voice.”

“Don’t get me involved in this.  You’re on your own,” Bain told him. 

“Traitor.”  Fili turned back to Bard.  “It’s really no big deal.”

Luckily, the waitress returned to take their meal order and saved Fili.  While she was taking Sigrid’s order, Bard shot him a look signaling that this discussion might be postponed, but not over.  Fili ignored it, hoping it would be forgotten by the time dinner was through. 

Aside from that little hiccup, the meal went smoothly.  Tilda was excited to tell Fili all about cheerleading and offered to do a cheer, which Bard vetoed.  Bain explained a robot he was building, but it went over everyone’s heads.  Sigrid mentioned applying for a job, and while she tried to downplay it, it was obvious she was nervous.  When Bard mentioned that she was dating a boy from one of her classes, Sigrid blushed, which set off Bain and Tilda teasing her.  It was all gentle and fun, though, and not mean spirited.  It was clear that they were a family that loved, respected, and cared for each other.  Even when Bain and Tilda started bickering over something, they quieted when Bard told them they could discuss it after they got back to the hotel.  Five minutes later, they had forgotten about it and were laughing and joking once more. 

Kili’s fears were unfounded.  The kids lost any shyness they might have had, and included him in the teasing right along with Fili.  Fili was glad to see him relax and forget about his worries. 

After the plates were cleared, Tilda wanted to go look at the fish in the fountain and Kili volunteered to go with her.  Bain and Sigrid followed, and Bard and Fili were left at the table. 

“He seems nice,” Bard said as he watched them walk away.  He turned to give Fili a speculative look.  “And you seem happy.”

Fili nodded.  “I am, and he is.”

“Did you work through your problems?”

“Yeah.  I mean, there’s still bumps, but we’re talking stuff out and seeing how it goes.”

Bard peered over the rim of his glass to ask, “Do I need to give him the shovel talk?”

Fili rolled his eyes.  “I think it’s under control.”

“Good.  It’s awkward enough dealing with Sigrid dating.  I’ve managed to refrain from giving any shovel talks so far, as tempting as it is sometimes.  At least she hasn’t brought home anyone too outlandish.”

Kili and the children came back to the table, chattering about the koi in the fountain.  There was a brief bout of pleading, and Kili giving Fili puppy eyes, until Bard agreed and they ordered dessert for everyone.  By the time it was gone, Tilda was leaning against Bard’s side, hiding yawns and blinking owlishly as she struggled to stay awake.  Bard stroked her hair with a loving disregard, talking with Fili and Kili while Bain and Sigrid spoke quietly to each other.

After finishing his drink, Bard said, “I should probably take them back and let them get some rest.  I heard that someone scheduled windsurfing lessons for tomorrow.” 

Fili grinned.  “Like I said, it’s a vacation.  Let me spoil them.”

Bard sighed but said, “Well, thank you.”

Fili paid the bill and they wrangled the kids out of the restaurant.  After a chorus of good nights, Bard and his family headed back to the hotel, and Fili and Kili walked back to the car. 

Kili was still unhappy about having to ride in the car, but he was much less tense on the way home.  When Fili offered a hand, he took it.  “Bard was nice.  So were the kids.”

“See?” Fili asked.  “I knew they’d love you.”

“I’m just happy they didn’t hate me.”

“Of course not.  They love you because I love you.”

Kili didn’t bother hiding his blinding smile, making Fili smile in return.  Kili cupped the side of Fili’s face, gently turning him forward again.  “I love you too.  Now watch the road.”

Fili laughed but did as he was told.  Kili was quiet, but smiled all the way home.

 


	73. Chapter 73

Fili leaned forward, groaning when his back popped.  He straightened and stretched his arms over his head, rolling his shoulders and grimacing. 

Bard laughed at him.  “You sound like an old man.”

“Shut up.  I’m younger than you.”  The words were without heat.

It made Bard laugh again.  “Not by much.”

Fili let his arms fall as he looked back at the house.  They had been decorating it all day, but at last it was finished.  It would have been finished hours ago, but Kili fell in love with the fairy lights and wanted more of them.  Fili drove to town, but had to go to three different stores before he found any.  He found some that draped in rows like bunting, and others that dangled down like icicles.  He also found ones shaped like little glowing jellyfish and whales, and others like red peppers and ears of corn.  He didn’t know what those were supposed to be celebrating, but Kili’s enchanted laugh was worth the effort of getting them. 

Now the house was decorated in strand upon strand of twinkling fairy lights, in every color imaginable.  There were paper lanterns hanging from the bottom of the deck, and electric tiki torches dotting the beach.  The rented tent was set up with the sides folded back so it was open, and had also been festooned with fairy lights, and the tables inside each had an electric lantern. 

A fire pit was set a safe distance away from the tent and house, deep enough to keep the breeze from scattering sparks everywhere.  The sand was piled along the edges and bricks lined the bottom of the hole to further contain it, but for additional peace of mind Fili had put small fire extinguishers here and there.  One was at the bottom of the house steps, one was fastened to a tent pole, and one was on the bottom shelf of the counter set up as a s’mores bar beside the fire pit.  Even though the fire wasn’t huge, it was better to be safe than sorry, especially when having children around an open flame. 

It had taken Bard, Kili, and Fili, with minor assistance from Bain, to maneuver the grill down the steps and set it up next to the tent.  It wasn’t too heavy, but the bulk made it difficult.  Fili thought it might be easier to have it down where everyone could use it, rather than trotting up and down the stairs all evening.  There were coolers next to it, one with meat and one with vegetables, and everyone could cook what they wanted so Fili wasn’t stuck behind the grill all night.  There was another counter nearby, set up as a condiment bar.  Inside the tent was yet another counter, designated as a drink station.

Everything was as ready as it could be.  Just in time, too, because Dori’s van was pulling into the driveway.  As he got out, along with Nori and Ori, Fili walked over to help carry the platters of food Dori had volunteered to bring.  Dori had decided he was in charge of desserts, and may have gone a little overboard.  Kili came over to help too, and his face lit up when Dori handed him a cupcake carrier.  Fili couldn’t help but smile at his expression.

The desserts were set up on a table inside the tent and introductions were made between everyone.  The kids ran off to play with Bain’s little robot while the adults headed to the drink station.

Nori took the chance to pull Fili aside.  “Did Dwalin say he was coming?”

“Yeah, he’ll be here,” Fili assured him.

“I don’t know why I agreed to this.  I’m going to make an ass of myself,” Nori groused while he tugged at the hem of his shirt.

“Stop.  You look fine.  Just talk to him.”

“I guess.  I need something to drink.”  Without another word, Nori headed to the drink station.

Kili took his place, handing Fili a beer before taking a swallow from his bottle of water.  He leaned briefly against Fili, pressing their shoulders together, and murmured, “I think Ori’s smitten.”

Fili looked around and spotted the kids on the beach.  Bain was operating his robot and Ori was standing by him.  Instead of watching whatever Bain was trying to explain, Ori was watching Sigrid, who was laughing at something Tilda was saying.  Sigrid tucked her hair behind her ear, and Fili saw Ori’s throat bob as he swallowed. 

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Fili agreed. 

Bard came up, holding a beer of his own.  “What are we watching?”  Fili and Kili pointed, and he watched for a second before sighing.  “Sig’s made another conquest.  Poor kid doesn’t know what he’s in for.  Maybe I should warn him.”

“Nah,” Dori said from where he was standing by the tent pole.  “It’ll do him good.”

Bard and Dori shared a smile, and it made Fili almost pity the kids.  Another car pulled into the driveway though, so he left the fathers to their scheming and went to greet the new guest. 

More people began to arrive as the sun slowly sank past the horizon.  Bard was sent to put some music on, and he chose Jimmy Buffett.  When ‘Cheeseburger in Paradise’ came on, Kili gave Fili an amused smile and caught him by the hand, twirling him around and pulling him close for a dance. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Fili asked him. 

“Very much.  Your friends are nice, and this is fun.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

When the song ended, Kili gave him a quick kiss before heading into the tent, making a beeline for the food. 

Bard had fired up the grill, and was cooking something.  Bombur had brought his wife and baby daughter, and Sigrid and Tilda were cooing over her.  Ori and Bain were sharing a bag of chips, while Ori snuck glances at Sigrid.  Bofur was telling a ribald joke, gesturing with one arm while having the other wrapped around his wife’s waist.  She rolled her eyes at the joke, but was giving him adoring looks.  Bifur was making kebobs to go on the grill while his kids ran up and down the beach and his wife laughed at Bofur’s story. 

Fili stepped out of the tent, and a glance around showed Nori and Dwalin sitting by the fire pit.  They had lit it, and Dwalin had a marshmallow on a stick.  He was ignoring in favor of watching Nori talk, though, and it was on fire and merrily burning away.  Dwalin didn’t notice, still engrossed and smiling at Nori.  Rather than disturb them and risk becoming the third wheel, Fili turned and walked out on the jetty. 

He didn’t go to the end.  He just went out far enough to lose the sounds of the party to the surf.  He stood looking out to sea, listening to the gentle waves roll in.  The sun was down but there was still light in the sky, quickly losing the battle to the night.  There was one bright star, shining before the others revealed themselves in the dark.  Fili smiled to remember how his mother always insisted he make a wish on the first star of the evening. 

There was a pang in his chest when he realized he hadn’t thought of his parents in a while.  Instead of the anger and sadness he previously felt, this one was bittersweet.  They would have loved the life he had built here, in his little house by the sea.  They would have been charmed by Kili, too.  He wished they were still alive to see it all.  But he also knew that they would want him to move on with his life, and not mourn them forever.  He missed them, and he probably always would, but he could let go of them and still cherish their memories.  They would always be in his heart, never forgotten.

He took a swallow of beer, and turned to face the house.  It was a beacon in the gloaming, with the fairy lights everywhere, lighting the beach and reflecting in the water.  Dori had taken over the grill, and Bard had joined the group around Bofur.  Ori had gathered his courage, and was offering Sigrid a soda.  She took it with a smile and Ori sat beside her.  Dwalin and Nori had given up the pretense of roasting marshmallows and were sitting on the steps of the house, still talking. 

Kili was standing at the foot of the jetty, watching Fili.  Fili couldn’t see his face for the glow of the house behind him, but it cleared up as he walked closer.  Kili was relaxed and happy, wearing a broad smile, and held a hand out. 

Fili took it as he asked, “Still having fun?”

“Yeah, except I looked around and you were gone.  But now you’re back, so everything’s perfect.”  Kili raised their linked hands to drop a kiss on Fili’s knuckles.

Fili snorted at the cheesiness but pulled Kili closer.  He gave Kili a kiss, there at the edge of the water, at twilight, standing in the between.  He didn’t know if he could feel any fae magic, but there was a magic of another sort in the warm body in his arms.  He broke the kiss and cupped Kili’s face in his hands. 

“I told you, this is my home.”  Fili kissed the tip of Kili’s nose, earning a giggle.  “I’ll always come back.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, almost a year. Thanks for joining me on this ride!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos, and comments! 
> 
> As always, I am over at Tumblr. Feel free to come say hi! 
> 
>  
> 
> [[My personal blog]](http://myseri.tumblr.com/)  
> [[My writing blog]](http://saucywenchwritingblog.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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